Adventure Day 4 – Wowsers, I can’t believe I did it without the Tequila!

Yes people, you heard right. Today was one to write down in the record books! July 23rd, 2009 I purchased a bikini (which for the record I will NEVER wear in public) – the point is I bought one.

The scenario: I went to Wal-mart to pick up a few things. I am just merely walking by a rack of clearance skimpies (my own word) on my way to practice looking at purses that I would never, on my own, buy. I saw the bright yellow clearance sign and the number 5 on each piece and I thought to myself ‘I am deciding it is not wrong for me to NOT try this thing on, or actually go to a real store to buy one since I will NEVER be wearing it out in public. This is as close as we’re going to get without the Tequila already in me to do this.’

So I casually looked at the very picked over remains on the rack and did my best to quickly find my sizes in both the top and bottom (which did not necessarily have to match in size *smile*). Hmmmm I wondered, should these two pieces actually co-ordinate? This would take up at least an extra five minutes to figure out – did I want to risk someone walking by and seeing me intensely involved in trying to match this absurd outfit I couldn’t believe myself that I was purchasing? I might as well if I was going through with it. So there I stood for a good 5-10 minutes trying to see what would match and what wouldn’t, praying the entire time that the fact that I was there at 8:45am would somehow help me out.

I learned something while on my search: there are lots of extra large bikini bottoms out there to buy, as there should be. I am a firm believer that ‘they’ (whoever ‘they’ are) shouldn’t make certain styles of clothing past a certain size because no one needs to see it. For example short shorts are only ok on twelve year old girls who haven’t grown past their stick legs – after that they should be off the shelves. Anyways, I seemed to manage to find some bright orange bottoms along with a wonderful stringy brightly coloured floral top. After I avoided some hyperventilating, I hid the little outfit under some of my other purchases – what the heck was I doing? And how could buying this little number actually help me ‘expand my horizons’? I had no idea at that point but I did it anyway. I have to admit that while I was going through the self check out, the whole time I was praying that I’d have no problems with the purchase – that last thing I wanted was some lady coming over and seeing what I was getting and dying of hilarious laughter at what she saw ME buying. It worked – there were no deaths.

*Phew!*

I’m not sure if I ate courage for breakfast today or what, but I was on a roll and decided if I could buy a bikini, I could go and try to buy a purse. So off to Winner’s I went. (Seeing as Wal-mart only had the kind of purses I would normally buy, I thought purchasing one there would be cheating – I’m no cheater). I walk into the store and quickly spotted the purse area. I took a deep breath in, and then slowly let it out. ‘I could do this’ I thought, ‘I’m on a roll, remember?’. I had to remind myself right away what I normally looked for: anything that was brown, black and small, with nothing fancy. Ok so I knew I had to look for the opposite of that description – those were the rules.

I was a bit overwhelmed, there were so many. Big ones, bigger ones, animal prints (hmmm….that would definitely be different), bright ones, ones that could be used as luggage, ones that had big price tags; others that had bigger price tags. After much perusing I picked up one that was certainly bigger than any purse I’d ever been given, it had long straps (I could still through it around my arm and hold on to it), it was a deep burgundy colour, and it was like a snake type skin – shiny yet soft. I took another huge inhalation and let it out. I looked at the price tag - $39.99. I took another breath in and out. I carried it around the store with me for a while to see if it ‘felt right’. It did. I was shocked. Who knew? Other than the ridiculous price, it was ok (you know … for something I’d never buy on my own).

I decided I would take it. In part because I liked it and in part because I wanted to get this over with – I had no idea how challenging it would be for me to buy a purse, completely draining. So I took my new found friend with me to the register to pay and the lady behind the counter remarked immediately: ‘Oh, time for a new one?’
I said nervously ‘Uh, yeah, I guess so, I don’t really buy stuff like this’. (Acting like I was at a porn shop for the first time).
She said ‘Will it go with your fall coat?’
I stared at her blankly thinking ‘What? Now I need to buy a fall coat? Are you kidding me lady? I’m wearing my fall coat’ (which doubles as my spring coat, which is a delightful neon green sporty jacket – I don’t think the purse matched it).
After I didn’t really reply she asked ‘Will it go with your winter coat?’
I quickly did inventory in my head, hmmmm…probably wouldn’t go with my sporty, everyday winter jacket either – think Eva, think…
I was obviously not too quick because she simply said ‘It’ll go with black’.
I concurred and thanked her for the transaction and quickly high tailed it out of there – man who knew so much thought had to go into buying a bag, man!

Apparently I hadn’t tortured myself enough to this point, because after walking out of Winner’s I decided I would go to the lingerie store and try to also strike #19 off of my list. I walk in. Oh the fun of seeing myriads of underwear everywhere. This was just too much for one day. I plunged forward.

I went straight to the back of the store where I knew all of the skanky stuff would be that I never buy. I had to pass by all of the cute, comfy pjs and housecoats on the way.

*sigh*

I begin to look through what was there. My goal was to buy something I’d never normally buy; once again I had to make a list of what I would rather buy and look for everything that was opposite to it. So I did, and I looked. I was in shock when I saw how much money some of the pieces were. I can’t figure out why someone would spend so much money on something they would only be wearing for but a few moments – none of this made sense to me, but that wasn’t the point of the exercise was it? After several minutes of looking around, having 2 ladies ask if I needed help and almost settling on a couple of things that were out of my element, I was nearly ready to make my purchase. Then a new lady comes up to me and asks if I needed help with anything, I said no and waited for her to leave. She didn’t leave. Instead she stood too close to me and had her eagle eye out and waiting. ‘Um, did I say I wanted you to stare at me for the next 10 minutes?’ I thought. She didn’t move, so I did – #19 would have to wait for another exhaustifying day.

**Side notes: I will do a special post on the experience of actually putting on the bikini (I plan on having the Tequila out that day – or something). I did try a new kind of cheese today – Blue cheese … I have a big wedge of it here if anyone is interested. I invited a few more people to read this blog, so I have completed #8 and I am nervously awaiting any response – I have to say, it is rather nerve wracking putting yourself out there. Being anonymous is way more comfortable.

Enough about you already, here’s more about me….

I don’t have the slightest clue how to wear jewelry. So generally I don’t wear much at all.

I genuinely believe that I can feel when my hair is turning grey – this happens a lot, especially lately.

I have had the honour of caring for someone that was dying – this is an odd activity to recommend, but I do.

I generally never spend more than $30 on anything I wear, no matter what it is. I have a guilt complex that kicks in if I even pay full price for something that is under $30.

The one thing I will pay more than $30 on is a pair of Sketchers – I am in LOVE with them. However, I wouldn’t buy them in my own country when I can get a deal in another one.

When I go to the library I always take out more books than I will actually read. If I take out 2, I’ll read one. If I take out 3 I’ll read half of one, a few pages in another and only the back of third one. Once I took a book out for 6 weeks (by itself) never read it, then took it out again 6 months later with another one and read it all the way through.

If you haven’t guessed by some of the things said here on the blog, it takes a loooooooong time (usually) for me to let people get to know me and my sense of humour. I often will let people get to know the ‘serious’ side of me but never the funny side – for years (and maybe still) my in laws thought I had no sense of humour at all.

I like peanut over plain.

Toffifee (sp?) are my friends.

I LOVE thunderstorms and even rainy days – they make me feel peaceful.

I can only drink white milk when it’s accompanied by cereal, chocolate, or some kind of yummy baked good.

I would be shocked if we got out of Wrinkleville without getting stuck in an elevator at least once.

I LOVE the people I work with, even though I barely know them. Actually, maybe that’s why I love them.

I’m totally ok with people missing me when I’m dead. Totally NOT ok with people looking at me when I’m dead – I’ve heard too many people talk about how bad a job the funeral guy did on Uncle Fred or Aunt Mavis. I’d rather someone photo-shop me into some awesome picture and blow it up. That way all the people that didn’t come visit me when I was alive can feel guilty and wonder about not seeing me at my best.
*chuckle, chuckle*

I wear lip gloss not lipstick

Perfect people leave me suspicious.

The high school bully nick named me ‘Grandma’ because she thought my demeanor reminded me of her grandma – ‘quiet and sweet’. Ironic part is that I later ended up housekeeping for her grandma, and she wasn’t that sweet (but she did make me laugh).

I still feel and think that I am 17 – I find it sad that I was just as boring at 17 as I am at 29, I’m workin’ on it.

I have a friend that used to be protestant but now is Catholic and considering the priesthood – I think that’s cool.

I want drinking buddies – less for the drink and more for the buddies.

When my weight gets to a certain low point (I’ve only been there once before), my boobs acquire a nick name – I don’t think I’ll share it … right now.

There you have it. I guess it always seems to come down to my boobs (or lack there of) – ha!

(No, I don’t have a boob complex I’m just jokin’ around – I’’ll quit now. Wally take a deep breath)

What kind of egg are you?

That's my question of the day for you!

There's lots to choose from: fried, sunny side up, poached, soft boiled, hard boiled, raw, rotten, running yolk, and maybe there are others I am unaware of. Pick one and explain, let me get to know you.

I am a hard boiled egg for sure. I am sometimes difficult to peel, only certain people really enjoy me on my own, and I'm great mixed in with a few other ingredients. Oh, and timing is everything with me!

Cheers!