Monday, July 27, 2009

Adventure Day 8 – Bill the doorman

Today, after my prolonged escapade with the earbuds (which are still in hiding as I write this), I decided to go after #20 and # 26 on my list. Welcome our new neighbours with muffins and do something nice for Bill the doorman. If you haven’t guessed, I decided to kill two birds with one stone by making a batch of yummy banana muffins to split between the two deeds. Not to be lazy, instead I know that Bill would appreciate this, as he is on his own.

I’m not sure why these items are really on my list. I am the type of person who shares baked goods with my neighbours, well if I knew them I would. You see when you grow up in a village on the same street your whole life your neighbours are your family. I also made those I worked with a part of my family too. I’d take goodies to the older folks, sometimes a meal to the ones would were sick, try to do some extras if I had time and it was needed. Doing good stuff feels good. It lets people know you care. I care. I’m not trying to sound all great and wonderful, but I am the type of person who when I hear of a need I search my mind for ways to help (of course generally ones that will fit my comfort level and time schedule – I’m not that perfect). Sometimes though I have to reign it in a bit because for some reason strangers think you are a little crazy when you want to help and they barely know you – I know, I’ve offered before.

Back to # 26. Let me tell you a little bit about Bill. He’s probably in his 80’s. He lives here alone and recently his wife passed away. Before that she lived in a nursing home for years with Alzheimer’s I think – if it wasn’t Alzheimer's I know that it was something where she couldn’t get out, do much or really contribute to their time together. He visited her often. He never complained, but always carried a smile, and still does. He often sits at the front door of our building on the bench before supper time and then later after supper too. If he sees you coming he almost always gets up to open the door for you. If he doesn’t do that, you will at least get a cheerful hello, how are you, and a quip about something he’s noticed about you.

Bill ALWAYS tries to give our dogs a pet when they are coming and going. And if they seem distracted and move away he’ll say: ‘Oh, they’re ready to go for their walk (or inside), let them go!’ He also always refers to our two as ‘the team’ (and now has others doing so), and never fails to ask where they are or what they are doing. I like Bill, he makes me smile inside (and outside too).

Today was Bill’s day; it was time for me to show (in a very small way) that he meant something to us, that we cared. So, I tightly wrapped up 6 fresh out of the oven banana muffins and taped a little card with a message from ‘the team’ so that if I chickened out handing them to him myself I could safely leave them on the floor by his door (that would be way less awkward for me). As I approached the door and looked at ground I realized it wasn’t the cleanest. At first I actually did place them on the ground and thought to myself ‘Just knock on the door and run – that way they won’t sit there long. There’s no one in the laundry room, you can always hide in there’ (I checked as I walked by). But I couldn’t do it. I knew that the whole point of this exercise was to ‘connect’ and really show people that I cared and that they meant something.

I sighed to myself and knocked on the door. I heard nothing. ‘Ooh, maybe Bill’s being a doorman right now and I’ll HAVE to leave these on the floor – yay!!’ I thought. I knocked again, just in case. After another minute I heard muffled footsteps coming to the door. ‘Rats! I feel like a weirdo’ I thought. The door opened and there stood Bill the doorman with his hair all disheveled (perhaps he was having a siesta) and his old apron on. He’s usually neat as a pin while on duty. He was surprised to see me standing there and I can’t exactly remember what he said but I told him that I’d been baking and wanted to share some with him. I quickly handed him the goods and he continued to look shocked and said he didn’t get stuff like this anymore since his wife left him (she didn’t actually leave him like that) and then he told me she had passed away a few weeks ago. I tried to play dumb and slough it off, but Bill was serious and so thankful. Bill acted like I’d given him my right arm. He said over and over that it wasn’t necessary for me to do that, and ‘all that stuff’ was too much. I told him no bother and tried to inch away. He apologetically told me how his apartment has in disarray, I excused him of worry, said no problem and to enjoy the muffins. His gratitude continued as the door closed.

I hurried to the elevator thankful that the interaction was over. Then seconds later I felt emotion creeping into my heart and then my throat, then my nose and briefly to my eyes. As I’ve mentioned before I’m not an easy crier. I don’t generally need a Kleenex box to get through a sap filled movie, but today I was feeling. All I did was take an old man some muffins, but it felt like more. It was more. I stepped out of my world and into his for a few moments and saw his heart, and showed him mine. Who knew muffins could do that?

Maybe that’s why these two numbers were challenging to me. Several times in the past year I have wanted to do something nice for Bill and others. But what do you say to someone you only know from going in and out the door everyday? It just feels awkward. Doesn’t it? Maybe it’s just me. I don’t know - how do you walk up to someone’s door, knock on it and say ‘Here are some muffins, just because’? There’s just something uncomfortable about it. It’s like we need a reason to be nice.

I suppose though it’s not the act itself that is difficult, it’s what both people know is behind the act – care, love, affection. Those three things generally come with strings and a history, and with strangers you generally have neither. Today I learned that sometimes the best way to show care, love and affection is to not think so much, just do. Sometimes our thinking takes over and prevents us from doing. ‘What are they going to think?’ ‘What am I gonna say?’ ‘What if it feels weird?’ After today, my response is: So what? Feel weird. Be awkward. Don’t say. And most of all, don’t worry about what ‘they’ think.

Instead just take a few steps and go into their world for a moment. Don’t underestimate a moment; it can change your life and maybe even theirs.

Adventure Days 5, 6, and 7 Recapped!

So, I apologize for leaving you all hanging on my virtually amazing experiences - ok maybe I’m overshooting it a bit. I’ll try to sum up the past few days for you and what’s been going on…

Day 5 – I worked a full day shift, so I’ll have to admit that I didn’t complete any part of my list that day, but I did go to the gym as scheduled. This was a great success to me, since day shifts generally seem more of a challenge for me physically than night shifts for some reason, and I wasn’t sure how I’d get to the gym after a day of work – especially without my gym buddy. However I did it and it wasn’t so bad after all!

Day 6 – I completed #32 by going to the gym for the 6th day in a row.

What did I learn from this? Well, I don’t mind going to the gym. I definitely like going in the morning more than later on, but it’s fun to go with a friend.

Having time to go is truly how big of a priority it is to you. I had made a decision to go and I was there – and that was while I working over 30 hours that week (which I realize isn’t a full work week but stay with me).

I definitely believe the strength you have to work out is less about your body physically and more about how strong you feel mentally. When I first started my job this summer I didn’t have much ambition or desire to go to the gym at all and I think a lot of that was because I was exhausted (in every way) from all of the new learning I was doing.

Overall it felt good to keep my resolution and I feel it has reminded me why I started to go in the first place – it just feels good: mentally, emotionally, and physically, to get all that energy out.

Another first I discovered on Day 6 was at a wedding Wally and I attended. There was an open bar – which used to be a total turn off. You know drunken people and the like. Now I get excited at an open bar because it means I can enjoy a drink on someone else’s tab – selfless of me eh? Anyways, I had remembered that I wished I’d put ‘try my first beer’ on the list but didn’t want to overdo the alcohol quotient. But since it was free I thought what the heck! Why not give it a try?

So, Marshmallow was around and I asked him for his – he wouldn’t give it up for me and seemed strangely concerned for me to be experimenting (which is interesting considering he’s experimented, and still does, a lot). I bugged a bit more and he gave in and filled his cup to about a half an inch. I gave him a look that said ‘You’re kidding me right?’ He protested that I may not like it. I told him to fill it up more. He added another half inch of liquid. *Sigh* ‘I want more’ I said. So eventually he filled it nearly half way and I gave up. I tried a bit. Wasn’t as bad as I remembered thinking it would be.

Anyhow I drank the rest and called it history. The status of my beer days: I’d have one to feel ‘cool’ but as Wally would put it ‘I wouldn’t order it in a restaurant’. Besides at the wedding I discovered some orangey Bacardi drink that tasted waaaay to good to be alcoholic. Mmmmm. Let’s just say it was probably a good thing I had to do an overnight shift that night – it put a stop to too much trouble.

Day 7 – This lucky number lent itself to Wally and me working on #2 on my list – only trying new restaurants. Let me preface this with the fact that I worked a ten hour night shift that I was supposed to be sleeping during (at least 7 hours of them). I never sleep well at work because you never know when someone may wake up, (and there’s a ringing monitor on that doesn’t help). That night I forced myself to keep the lights off and at least try to rest. By 2am I did finally fall asleep for 45 minute intervals – that is until 4am on the nose when my little suppose-ed sleeper was wide awake and peering through the little window of my door. I’ll spare you all of the next 5 hours of details, let’s just say that I didn’t get any more sleep (nor did he).

When I arrived home I was feeling ok but knowing that that feeling wouldn’t last long. I always try to come home and catch a 2 hour cat nap for good measure – Sunday was no different. None the less I was still in a ‘be careful not to say something that could make me kill you’ mood when I woke up. Generally I’m ok, but it’s bad when Wally says virtually nothing wrong at all and I act like he should be burned at the stake for it – that’s really what I’m like. Why am I telling you this? Because I want to let you know how daring it was for us to attempt #2 while I was in this fragile state.

You see the one reason Wally and I never step out and try new things is because we are both scared of disappointment, of making mistakes, of having a fight over what we should do – that’s why we usually end up doing what we always do, going where we always go and keeping safe. It’s just plain easier that way (not to mention more peaceful). So this day, in my rather crazy disposition it was definitely a risk to go somewhere new, even if it was just a restaurant. But we did it anyway – and no one died.

We have been talking for months about wishing we could find some restaurants that weren’t chains (because really their food is way cheaper and yummier). But the only way to find out what was good would be to either hear about it from someone or just try it, and since we didn’t know many people (at least not ones that like to frequent restaurants) we just hadn’t found any yet.

So after much discussion and some wandering around a bit, we went past a family restaurant we’d noticed several times but had never been too. We drove in and nervously walked up to the door and entered. When we opened the door much to our surprise the place was packed! It was a family diner. They had an all day breakfast and then everything else under the sun on the menu and with good prices too! We were quite excited and hoped it would be good eats too.

Now since this was a fairly ordinary diner I had a difficult time deciding what ‘new’ food I would try. I settled on a hotdog with ‘the works’ (I’ve only ever had ketchup on my dog and have never ordered one while out to eat before) and some onion rings (I usually only order these when I know the place is good). Wally ordered a full breakfast and we waited…the waitress soon came back to tell me that they were out of hotdogs (of course) and gave me back a menu. Now I had some thinking to do…I settled on a Beef Dip sandwich to accompany my hopefully delightful onion rings. We got our food a while later and … we loved our meal! I couldn’t believe how much I enjoyed mine – it wasn’t even poultry!! Wow! This whole trying new things thing is workin’ out … so far.

We are looking forward to trying a few more great restaurants in the future.

(I know it wasn’t all that entertaining or deep but that’s life sometimes)

Frustrated !!!!

Right now that's me. Frustrated. Like blood boiling, want to hurl everything out the window, empty everything out the filing cabinet for no reason, not add a smiley face to the end of my name , break something, scream at the top of my lungs frustrated!!!

What is the horrible problem that I'm dealing with, you ask?

I lost my earbuds.

I know, earth shattering eh?

Well for me, right now, that's how I feel (even though there's a pinch of reason in my mind that is telling me to get over it and move on - only a pinch though, in fact it may be less than a pinch).

I have spent the last 45 minutes looking all through our apartment (and even the car) for something I haven't used in weeks, but all of a sudden has become THE most important thing in the world to me. Someone tell me there's something to learn here!!

Ok since there's no instant feedback on a blog, let me try and figure it out on my own... hmmmmmmm.

One thing I've learned since losing my earbuds this morning (or should I say, since realizing they are in hiding) is that I desperately need to do an organization overhaul on our apartment. Yikes!!! I can't find anything - except what I'm NOT looking for.

I've learned that I am currently unfathomably irritated with Wally for leaving me in such a distraught state - how dare he. (And right now I'm not even being sarcastic).

I've learned that I know how to spell unfathomably on the first try (and it's a real word), yet I can't spell irritated. Oh and that earbuds is not actually a word. (Thank you spell check).

I've learned that you should turn the music down on the MP3 player before testing the ratty old headphones your husband gives you as an alternative (it was on full blast, and I'm quite positive my spirit jumped out of my body for at least 3 seconds).

I've learned that there's at least one bill in the pile that I totally forgot about and it needs to be paid.

I've learned that in these moments I am an irrational human being that should probably be drugged.

I've learned that you can check the same spot 3 times and shouldn't expect the 4th check to cause what you are looking for to magically reappear.

I've learned that blogging can take your blood from boiling to a gentle simmer in approximately 12 minutes.

There you have it folks, I learned a lesson or few.

I suppose I could use the ratty old ear phones and go for that walk after all ... well you didn't expect me to go for a walk without my music did you?