Tuesday, July 5, 2011

My name is Eva and I am NO longer a facebook-aholic.

Through a blip in my work evening I am back earlier than anticipated.

What's on my mind?

A lot but I'll narrow it down for you.

My new facebookless world!

A few weeks ago I decided that I would go off of facebook until I had completed my 10K run.

Admittedly The first week of my training I did check my facebook usually once or twice a day. A huge improvement from the countless times I went on before in a day.

I knew people weren't expecting me on there so I had to stay quiet (which is my main challenge with facebook .... and a lot of things). After a couple of weeks I decided enough was enough and it was time to hit the deactivation button.

I did so hastily one afternoon and have yet to wish it back.

I won't lie. I miss being 'in the know' and I miss people knowing all about my absolutely exciting life (cough, cough). I do wish I could've made the 'We're going to be parents!!' status update. I still may IF I go back on in the fall. All in all though I thought it would be much harder than it really was.

I miss exercising my sense of humour, the fun banter with people I rarely see in an everyday context (if at all). I did love seeing pictures of people's babies and hearing about people's adventurous trips.

But let me also tell you about what I LOVE about not being on facebook!

I love getting real e-mail (though it's still not often enough).
I love knowing there are a select few that go out of their way to keep in touch.
I love how less cloudy my mind feels. (I seriously feel so much less junk is up there).
I love not being in the middle of drama and using my status to make known my position.
I love not reading between the lines about different things people say
I love not getting annoyed by annoying people who complain about EVERYTHING.
I love knowing I am (at least on facebook) not annoying people myself.
I love not seeing people's drunken, slutty pictures.
I love that being off of it sort of feels like a semi vacation.
I love that my co workers don't know EVERYTHING about my life now. (Unless they are of the select few).
I love that life seems a whole lot simpler.

Pretty big list considering facebook is supposed to be a little virtual world of connection.

I do miss feeling the facebook love and knowing that people sort of 'get' me better when they know the facebook Eva, but is it worth it crowding my mind up with worry and wonder over what so and so said or did or whom I may have offended?

Nope. At least not for now.

For now I will enjoy my little made up contract to be facebookless until I run my 10K (possibly at the end of September).

For humour's sake though allow me to give you my would be current status:

Eva Robot is going to be a mommy through the miracle of adoption!!!! We're going to be parents!!!

I know, I know. It's nothing new if you've been reading but I want the pretend facebook thrill.

Feel free to humour me and 'Like' or Comment on it, (even though many of you have spoiled me already with wonderful wishes - We've been waiting 10 years to say these words, I'm going to milk it till it's dry!)

A couple hours after that status update I would post this one:

Eva Robot needs to cut back on the hummus. For many reasons.

Always hungry


It's not quite 1:30 in the afternoon and I have just sat down (rather unlady like for a woman wearing a dress, but I'm home alone) from accomplishing a ridiculous amount of work and will choose to relax for the next hour before going to work for the afternoon/evening.

I just watched a little boy who I'm guessing is around 8 or 9 years old wheel by on his bike. He looked flushed from the heat, his blond hair was sweaty and he wore pop bottle glasses, and by the way was not using his hands.

The first thing I think is 'I wonder if he bathes everyday?' Do kids bathe everyday? I would hope if they're all sweaty. Hmmmm, I'll have to figure this out.

I have time.

I hate that when I finally have time to sit and write all of the topics that have rushed through my head in the past week have indeed gone through my head leaving only tumbleweeds behind...

Yesterday was the day I said my dreaded goodbyes to Glo. Shockingly enough I kept it together. We had lunch at an AMAZING burger place called Relsih. There aren't words and since I'm not a food blogger I won't go on, but I could, I really, really could.

We also picked up gourmet cupcakes (since I'd never had one officially) to celebrate her birthday which she'll be gone for in August.

We exchanged gifts of goodbye and hugged trying to pretend that we'd see each other next week at the gym. the pretending worked. Unlike the previous week of blubbering I had done in Wal-mart, Chapters, the grocery store and at home, I did not shed a tear. I think I've finally come to the place where I realize we will remain friends no matter how it may be lived out in the future. I needn't grieve without hope.

We decided to initiate our good bye date at the gym with my longest run yet, at least that was my hope.

It prevailed and I ran a comfortable 4 miles. I realized I could've either gone farther or quicker as I wasn't dying by the end, but I was happy with how I did anyway. Beyond happy. I'm 2/3rds of the way to 10 K.

I was just looking online for an actual 10 K race to do this fall, as that is my goal. I found one in a little town near my home town. I'm hoping by the end of the week to commit to it. That is a huge step for me.

I've also been browsing running clubs in my city. I still have a difficult time referring to myself as a runner. I'm not lean (I've gained 15 pounds since December of last year, but that's another blog post), I'm not fast, unless you conclude that 10:45min/mile is fast, and I'm not all that knowledgeable (or at all).

But I need to get my socializing out some how and I'm afraid with Glo gone I'll run away from the gym and my goals. Although today I went to the gym near our house alone for the first time, that's impressive for me. I did almost give up halfway through though seeing as I think all of the women in the women's only section were where I was.

I'm trying to figure out what new thing to explore this summer, what new experience I should have.

2 years ago I started this blog and went on my notorious '40 Day adventure' where I tried 40 mew things in 40 days (well I only got to 37 but 40 was the goal). It honestly changed my life.

Last summer I took a week off by myself which included 2 days and 2 nights at a B & B alone. If you were reading back then you'll know that's when I realized I was indeed called to be a mother. Almost exactly a year later Wally and I handed in our first round of paperwork for adoption. Crazy.

And still, I'm bored. Yes, there are always things to do, chores to accomplish and priorities to make but you don't always learn from those things or get excited by them.

I just want to do something different, meet more new people, once again experience something brand new. I'm guessing next year at this time I'll be very close if not already experiencing something new by hopefully becoming a mother ... we'll see.

What can I do now? What can I try?

I swear. I'm never satisfied.