Wednesday, April 13, 2011

The aftermath

This is a bit weird for me to say but life is waaaaaay more different since we got back from Thailand than I ever thought it would be.

As I mentioned before I have guarded myself carefully from having any crazy, over-the-top experience that would leave me feeling more empty and cynical after the trip was over. (I'm cynical enough on my own!)

In doing so I kept a nice level head through out our stay and even upon our initial re-entry home. I guess that's why I am finding it so strange that I feel different several days after our return, I feel like our world is changing so much.

The obvious one I've talked about had been my decisions with work, exploring my options and just making sure that whatever I'm doing, I'm enjoying it, despite money and 'strings'.

These decisions have ultimately brought me a feeling of freedom. I know now the benefits of doing what you believe in faaaaaar outweigh doing things because of logistics. I wish I could convey this more clearly or in a more dramatic fashion but I'm not sure how.

I just feel so much lighter.

Up until yesterday I thought it was just my job that was changing (or perhaps my approach to it). Then I talked to Wally...

He had mentioned last week that he spoke again with the Vice President of the company he works for and now answers to regarding the recent departure of Wally's immediate boss. He had approached the VP regarding his boss's leaving and where that put Wally - he wanted to know straight up if there was a chance of advancement in the future.

As they spoke Wally learned that one of 2 things would happen: he'd either work towards the promotion and within the next 6 months have the position (which the company saw him very capable of), OR they may decide to go with some new system making Wally's job completely different and in fact NOT what he went to school for. He'd go from a Computer Programmer Analyst to a Business Analyst, he'd still do programming but mostly ... other stuff I don't get.

Wally warned me Monday night he had something to talk about but when I brought it up at home he just didn't feel like chatting so I figured it wasn't a big deal. Last night I reminded him again and that's when he told me that the company had decided already (it was supposed to take 6 months to a year!) they were going with some 'systems approach' and his job would soon be changing.

I began giving birth to several tiny kittens.

Wally continued looking at his ipod as if he just gave me the score of a baseball game neither of us cared about.

As the kittens came I squealed and questioned. Questioned and squealed. While Wally remained unfazed.

We had discussed this possibility last week talking excitedly about the possibilities in a couple of years of him looking for another job, maybe moving to another city, MAYBE taking time to go to Thailand again only longer (ok that was me mostly projecting my hopes and dreams). At the time we were kinda liking the idea of a new challenge ... in a couple of years though, not now. Or at least I wasn't liking it now.

And now, a day later, Wally still sits quite content with the possibility of trying something new, enjoying the respect of his position and new found relationships at work (work wise that is).

I have never seen him so content in his work.


It's almost unnerving to me. Yet in a good way.

We've been married ten years. Not one of them was easy. But if each of them was there to make today as great as it is .... I'm glad we had them.

Our life isn't perfect, but it is stronger, gentler, more fun, happier and better than it's ever been.

Wally is fulfilled and nothing could be more fulfilling to me at this time in my life.