Saturday, November 6, 2010

Attention: Harvesting results requires planting first!!

'We're getting married', 'We're buying a house', 'Going to Cuba on vacation', 'We're gonna put on a Christmas play', 'I'm raising $10 000 for non profit', I'm going to college', 'I'm going to lose 20 pounds'. And the list can go on and on and on...

All are goals. All are focused on an end result. Just making these statements seems to make you feel like you are one step closer to getting something you want. However none tell you how to do it, what the process is going to be like, or what you may learn along the way. In the moment none of these things matter because all you care about is the end result.

I think I've mentioned before that I am the worst for wanting results yesterday. This is something my trainer was kind enough to point out to me months ago and frustrated both him and Wally to no end (it still frustrates poor Wally). I get so focused on what I want in the end that I forget that there's a learning curve, a process, a growth that needs to happen on my way. Sometimes I just blatantly refuse to do what I'm supposed to do and I still get frustrated that I'm not where I want to be. Then I have to wake up and see that I didn't follow the 'directions' to get to where I planned on going and that obviously I shouldn't expect to be anywhere but where I am in that moment. And where ever that is could be great but I'm so focused on the end destination I don't notice the beautiful waterfalls, incredible views or anything else that is around.

I am trying to learn to accept the process (geez, you'd think I'd just get it and move on to a new lesson already!!). Not only that but to ENJOY the process.

As I am in the throws of fund raising I check my donation link every couple of days and see it stand still I panic a little and wonder what I should do. What I am missing is that I am doing lots right now to prep my little fund raising garden and that generally when you are weeding, tilling soil, and planting seeds you aren't noticing any flowers growing around you. Duh.

This of course applies to pretty much any sort of lofty goal one has in life.

The other day as I was deep in thought over how to acquire $10 000 before the end of June 2011 I, out of no where, realized that in this journey to get to that goal was a process. A process that exceeds any result. A process that could, if I allowed it to, change who I am. It could open my eyes, open my heart, plant a seed and grow something beautiful I couldn't possibly see in a mere $10 000 cheque.

I have already begun to see glimpses of my own selfishness and self-centredness that don't leave me feeling so great. I can only imagine what this could potentially teach me as I pursue to enjoy the process of this opportunity.

So I am now going to refocus a bit and try to accept and embrace what comes of this mini adventure to raise $10 000. I'm sure I will be humbled.

Each day I go to my garden of 'promise' I hope to enjoy the fact that the soil is there, that the seeds are alive, that no garden grows or looks beautiful with lots of weeds, nor is it appreciated as much as it should be without the efforts to get rid of those weeds. I want to embrace the slow and steadiness of it's growth and appreciate each little bud and leaf. I will hopefully trust other gardeners to come it and help me care for it and know that they may often know better what to do than I.

Maybe I'll grow to love gardening. Miracles happen.

What a perfect garden to fall in love with. Than one that harvests promise.