Friday, February 18, 2011

Thirty One and FUN!!!

Clearly I am a 31 year old without kids as I was up at 5:15am with excitement. I'm not exactly sure why I still get like this, maybe it's because I'm a kid at heart. Maybe it's because I'm not tired enough. For whatever reason, I am up and truly appreciating that I am still alive to celebrate another great day!

I am the perpetual birthday celebrator. As you may remember last year I turned thirty but didn't have any party at the time to enjoy. Probably because my priorities were out of whack and I had instead decided to work 22 of the 24 hrs on my birthday.

I then decided to have a little party in June. Only 2 other people thought this was a great idea. We had so much fun anyways. I'll never forget that night getting kicked out of a lingerie store (apparently you're not supposed to take pictures inside them), having girly drinks and appetizers watching the rain pour down like crazy, then eating the best ice cream cake ever. It was grand with even grander people to share it with.

I often get flack from all over about how incredibly self absorbed I am in these regards. I have no problem what-so-ever agreeing with this observation.

It's true I am completely self absorbed. Who isn't that throws their own party to celebrate themselves? Duh.

However, I'm ok with this because I know that by being excited about myself I can be excited about other people (not that I do this perfectly but I try to be aware). I like to consider myself someone that gets excited and displays it fairly openly, so when other people have exciting news I can be someone that has the 'party' with them. Even though it may not literally be a party, hopefully they can feel even more joy from whatever it is they are happy about because someone else is happy too.

I'm not above screaming or shouting with joy. Hitting them on the back (or anywhere else), grabbing their shirt and saying 'Holy crap that's GREAT!!'. Essentially I guess I assault them with excitement. I try anyways. This is something I want to do more of, well, for those who can take it.

I also remember many a birthdays coming and going and I felt so sad when my 'big day' was over. It felt like something didn't live up to the hoopla that was supposed to be. I got tired of feeling sorry for myself because 'nobody remembered'. (I have to say though, facebook really helps with this now).

I decided one day I was tired of relying on the mood of others to give me what I so much wanted - love, joy, and excitement that I was around. When I realized that no matter how much I wanted to will them to be as excited as I was about me being around I couldn't. I had to let go of that expectation and just be excited for myself.

Now, at 31 years of age, I am the person that is over the top excited to get a year older. (Who am I kidding? I am excited to get a day older!) I am someone who will never be afraid to throw their own party (although obviously it's way better if someone else does it for you, I don't want to die disappointed that no one cared enough to do so). I will enjoy myself, myself. There's not time to be wasted on pity.

As I say all of these very conceited and selfish things that will no doubt give fuel to the fire for those who aren't my fans already. I must acknowledge that I would like this year to work on doing better celebrating others.

I think I've been working up to this. Surely it must be true that to honestly be excited about someone else and their life you must first be able to appreciate your own. OR. Maybe that's just what I tell myself to feel better.

Either way I hope to have some great times of enjoying those I love and honouring them in someway or another throughout the year. I already know of one person in particular I'd like to celebrate. I'm looking forward to their party (which isn't a birthday party per se). Actually I can think of two gatherings already.

Hmmmmmm .... I guess I am saying this will be the year of celebrating others! How exciting, this should be fun! (And it totally falls in line with my new number: 31 and FUN!!)