Sunday, September 13, 2009

No sleep

Ok so this is a random, 'I'm up at midnight totally wide awake, about nothing in particular' post. I usually write it in MS Word then copy and paste but I'm trying to live dangerously these days so I'll give this a whirl.

I wrote a post the other day about my first day at placement but it hasn't been finished or edited so it clearly hasn't found a home on here yet, we'll see if that changes. Since I haven't written much lately at all about my current situation maybe I'll fill you in and give a refresher.

Last Wednesday was my first official day of my final placement with school. This is basically like an unpaid job for approximately 30 hours a week (for 15 weeks). Mine is with an organization that does Supported Independent Living with people with developmental disabilities. I will be meeting with between 2 and 5 different people everyday either in their homes or supporting them at different programs through out the city. I have only met two of the people I'll be with and so far I've really enjoyed it and them. I'm sure I'll have some great stories too. I'm not sure how great I'll be at blogging, considering my life will be literally taken up by 8 hours of school, 30 hours of work and 30 hours of placement and some study time somewhere in there - EEK!!

Tonight I went out for my last evening coffee time with Sista to celebrate her getting the 40 hour contract that she applied for (you see she was doing my 30 hour one for only a year then returning to her old 40 hour job when Bro's 40 hour contract came up and she got it). I wasn't so sure I'd be able to survive the 30 hour work week without her understanding spirit. I'll be honest, I'm still wondering if I made the wisest decision. However, I keep reminding myself it's only for 13 weeks. I start my contract next weekend. Be on your knees for me!

The other night I was out with my girls: Lovie, Artsy, and Shell Bell (at an amazing Thai restaurant all should visit) and when we were leaving someone mentioned planning our next get together and I sadly said that they should make sure to take pictures because I would not be there. Shell Bell said that they should take a picture of me and add it into their poses so that I would still show up in the pictures. This gave me a great idea (well really corny but great too).

I thought, why not print off a few 8 X 10 pictures of my face and have different people take their pictures of me doing fun things with them, things I can't do because I will be too busy to join in? I attempted to recruit some peeps to help out on the weekend and had several reply, I just need to tell them my idea. Though this is a very cheesy idea I feel like it may be essential to my sanity. You see I have a great conviction to live right? I mean I try never to say things like 'I can't wait until this is over' (which I'll confess has run through my mind a couple of times lately) or 'Everything will be great once I get through this...'. I think these are terrible things to have permanently running through your mind because who knows if I'll be around until after the 'storm has passed'. I think that we should try to live wonderfully through the storm instead (I actually love storms).

That's my current dilemma, or should I say challenge. Yes, I'll say challenge. How to encounter a crazy, potentially stressful, hectic, tiring and insane schedule of new experiences, deadlines, and stretching of my limits without giving up on truly living honestly and loving it. One of my biggest pet peeves are people that hate their lives and don't do anything about it. Or they just complain their way through - I can't stand it. I say 'Change it!'

However some situations you cannot change and some situations you simply put yourself in to see what happens. I'd say that the latter is my case. I've done this completely by choice and am now trying to think of ways that I can not only survive what I've done but thrive during this time. I'm gonna need some help ...I'm gonna need lots of help. The best way to cure a situation like this is to laugh, a lot, so that's what I'm hoping I will do. We'll see if the experiment goes anywhere...

I realize I sound a tad on the psychotic side but we all do sometimes right? (Just say right), it is after midnight now and I am seriously feeling deranged at this moment. Anyway, not my most insightful post but it's me, take it or leave it.

good night.