Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Observations at the gym....

It's been a while since I've done this. I thought now would be a great time.

* Excuse me for being rude but I notice lots of ass while I'm there. (Kind of like when I go to the park). Although unlike the park there's more tight round ones there.

* Speaking of tight. Every item of clothing is almost always way too tight. Which strikes me as odd considering probably half of everyone there really shouldn't be wearing anything tight ... yet. Myself included.

* Short, bulky Italian men with uncharacteristically high pitched annoying voices who never know when to shut up. They have an incredible gift of making me want to kill them.

* The fore mentioned people who just happen to pretend they know what they are doing.

* People that know completely what they are doing. And do it. The nerve.

* Socks. Not worn on the feet but rather stuffed places. This can be with both males or females. (Off course they generally stuff in different places).

* When I go in the mornings I get the pleasure of a lot of 'eye candy'. Of the older persuasion. (That really is not 'eye candy' at all, I'm such a lucky girl).

* Actual 'eye candy'. To be honest, I haven't really noticed much of this at all. I'm actually being serious.

* The ladies that like to show off their large frontal assets by wearing tiny, strappy tank tops. While doing cardio. Which, if you are unaware, consists of far too much jostling and not enough containment for my eyes. Yes, I notice. It's a train wreck, who wouldn't?!

* Little old men who workout ten times harder than I do. Beside me. And aren't dead, yet.

* Trainers who don't really look like trainers. Pencil legs and all. (No, I'm not judging, just observing).

* Trainers that look bored out of their skull. Pretty much everyone of them does. They'd all be great on Sesame Street - it's the counting.

* Artificially tanned people. If you were wondering, I'm not one of them. I try and go for more of a natural ghostly look.

* Woman that are completely made up to look perfect with hair, makeup and outfit included ... at 9 am!!!

* Women that looked like they just rolled out of bed and into a scene from 'Scream'. (I'll let you take a stab at which one I am).

* Lots of middle aged women who talk none stop to their trainers to get out of doing their workouts. (I'm not middle aged yet).

* Then there's the 12 year old managers that are so sweet and quiet you really wonder how they got their job. You pray that no one else like yourself comes in and tramples over their little spirit.

I think those are it. For now.