Friday, April 8, 2011

1 week

That's how long we've been back 'home' since our rather short stint to the other side of the world.

A few things we've experienced ...

* An incredibly difficult adjustment in our sleep schedules, including: waking up generally after only 6 hours of sleep each night then both hitting a 'wall' around 3 or 4 in the afternoon.

Wally is much better than I at disciplining himself to stay in bed when he can't sleep. Prompting his body to fall back into at least some sort of slumber.

I, though, am a different sort and continue to battle with the same sleep dilemma I did before leaving only much intensified. I've had to force early morning naps (Wednesday from 9-10am and this am from 5:40-7-8am). I'm hoping we're close to ending this game soon.

Needless to say jet lag has been a magnified version of my regular sleep problems which has been less than a picnic.

* Wally and I have stayed true to our desire to spend more time on the main floor of our house - this has to do with the fact our computer and television is downstairs and is part of the 1 of 2 things we learned while away. I'll blog about those soon!

By doing so we've both felt less distracted during our time together and have since limited our tv watching to at most 1 hr in an evening (that is when we are even home together - only 2 nights this week). It's been a very good decision.

* As mentioned in my last couple of posts, I've made some serious decisions surrounding my work. Deciding to cut back on hours and trying to focus on doing work that I connect with both where I'm at and in exploring new ventures.

I am currently looking into volunteer opportunities within the city and ideas of income generating opportunities for women that Compasio works with and how I might be a part of getting something off of the ground there using a big chunk of the funds I'm raising. This one seems huge but I figure if I can work on making a few connections and learning as I go maybe I can help with it. We'll see where it goes.

* I had a few great visits with friends that have truly supported my venture to visit Thailand. I have really appreciated all of their encouragement and interest in this endeavour and honestly couldn't have done it without them, or at least I wouldn't have gotten as much out of it as I have - they inspired me without knowing it. For that and their friendship I am so grateful.

* I've learned this week that I have more of a community around me in those fore mentioned friends than I thought. I've received words of wisdom, encouragement and knowledge from them in how they see me and my life. They've been a mirror to me and shown me things in my own life that I could not see myself and they are there when I need them. I can't say that about everyone in my life.

* There have been moments that I've wondered if Thailand was just a romantic experience that I had without true love. Then I realized that it was actually only a first date, however every great love story has some sort of first date.

Though the first few days back I missed Thailand terribly and my heart ached to be back there, to feel free again. I am trying to ease myself back to the reality that is currently my life in a manner that will keep me close to my love.

This means remembering the wonderful things I received on my 'first date', looking at them as reminders, honouring them with my commitment to live truly and balancing what I know is real in life within the culture I am living. I am doing my best to learn how to live here presently rather than longing for something that it isn't yet time for.

* I have noticed something quietly different about mine and Wally's relationship since Thailand. There's something gentler about it. I like it.

Actually ... I love it.

I'd say overall that the week back to our life here in Canada has gone fairly well (aside from a disappointment here and there). I'm desperately holding tightly to our memories that I fear will pass us by too soon.

My biggest fear is that I'll forget.

I'll forget what happened. I'll forget what we saw. I'll forget what we felt. I'll forget to keep loving.

It's been 1 week since we said 'see you later'.

I wonder how many more weeks I'll have to wait to say 'Hello! I missed you! So glad to be home :)'

I'm already dreaming ...