Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Be where you are

The sun is shining, the birds are singing, my fake fireplace is burning.

Life is good.

The first thing that comes to mind after saying these things is Bee and her family, then other people I know who are sick, then money scares, then relational issues, and on and on it goes until guilt creeps in and totally steals my non existent bird singing moment (it's winter in Canada, you had to know I made that up).

Hmmmmm .... I'm deciding to just enjoy the feeling I'm having right now with just the birds, the sun and the fireplace. Life hits me the rest of the day so I will deal with it when it comes.

This actually kind of reminds me of something.

One of my very closest friends, the one who surprised me at our party last April, who lives in a land far far away, her husband just got deployed to Afghanistan.

He's a doctor with the Air force (in a land far, far away, now even further away).

Anyhow, they have a 4 yr old and a 2 year old. For 7 months my friend's husband will be gone leaving her to parent and live on her own, far from family yet surrounded by friends.

It's especially at times like this that I so wish we lived close by. (Although I do plan on visiting this summer upon her request and my excitement).

Anyways, if you were to peer at her facebook page the day of and the day after he left you would've thought her husband was seriously injured or even dead. The kicker is it wasn't her who was making the huge deal out of it - it was everyone else!

Of course I think it's great that everyone was thinking of her and expressing well wishes, I did so myself. However, it was getting to the point where many of the messages were of the condolence persuasion. So much so Her husbands step brother actually had to ask if everything was ok.

After talking with my friend on the phone the past couple of nights I am so glad to hear they are doing well. I mentioned to her my annoyance and am fortunate she understood my point. She had shared with me that she had yet to feel or have the dramatic fall on the floor in tears, her life is over, spell.

I reminded her that maybe she should save that moment for when it is necessary. If, that is, she could even control it.

Though I'm so glad my friend has had so many well wishes during the departure of her husband I do hope people remember her a month from now when her 4 year old and 2 year old are fighting like arch enemies over what movie they want to watch or game they want to play with and it hits her 'I have to do this on my own for 6 more months. AAAAAAAHHHHH!!' That's when she's going to need comfort.

Obviously I realize that I'm being super picky over when and how people share their encouragement, it's really non of my business. I know that over encouragement is better than none and people have well meaning hearts and that is really what I should focus on.

I guess I was just worried in a way that people would induce grief that wasn't ripe, that wasn't needed at this time. Right now my friend needs to focus on her children, herself and keeping her marriage going while miles and oceans apart. She doesn't need 'hang in there' she's only begun! 'Hang in there' is more appropriate for near the end I think.

When I trained with Dee I had loads of energy at the beginning of my workout. If someone said something that implied I only needed to get by when I knew I could do more than that I would be irritated. I may even doubt how good I felt and then lose confidence. It's when my energy was totally sapped that I would require a 'hold on'.

I don't know. I feel as though I'm venting about someone else's problem. Probably cause I am. Oh well.

Somewhere in there my point was to be where you're at. Don't worry too early or you may bring on early labour pains. We need to enjoy the good, guilt free. because soon enough we'll be challenged and maybe if we've basked in the good long enough and absorbed it properly we'll be able to carry on even better through whatever experience that finds us.

Life is good. I'm gonna let it stay that way. At least for a little while.