Tuesday, August 16, 2011

For the committed ones ...

A second post today. Short and sweet.

No doubt it'll blow your mind.

ok, maybe I'm being a tad sarcastic but here you go...

* there are a lot more stressors to my job (for me, maybe I'm just not tough enough) than first thought

* being more positive helped a bit

* I love coming home

* A young lady I support who I didn't see last week for long due to a trip, came straight over tonight and gave me a hug when she first saw me. This has never happened to me before and pretty much made my entire life.

* Humour may not cure the crazies but it definitely helps ... a lot.

* I actually did not know what I fed someone for supper tonight in the nursing home. Not a clue.

* I accidentally locked one of my dogs in my bedroom again for most of the day. Oops.

* I'm trying a popular sauce recipe tomorrow night with broiled tofu. We'll see if this vegan sauce lives up to it's name. (It's called Mmmmmmm Sauce).

* I'm starting to freak out about the fact we're going to be parents within a year or two. I know there's possibly still lots of time but ..... Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!

* I want Glo to move back.

* For some reason my running has been crap lately and I haven't even been able to run 3 miles since I ran 5 miles a couple weeks ago. I guess one week off was a bad idea.

* I may have found a cure for my 'runner's bloat' post long run. However I did three things differently and there's no way for me to know which item did the trick or if all three are required. Oops again.

* In two and a half weeks I'm on vacation and will be spending it with Joy (my maid of honour) and her kids in a hot land far away. I'm looking forward to a change of pace.

* I'm watching my Sweet (oldest dog) lay peacefully on the shag rug he barfed up his poo on (yes, I said 'barfed up his poo' and no I did not get it wrong). He looks adorable ... and scruffy.

* In order to get love you must give it, in some way. I need to get giving.

* I argued with someone I support tonight that outside smelled like poo. She said 'no it smells like skunk!'. I said 'Ok, it smells like skunk poo!'. She continued to disagree with my theory.

* I wish we could chat. You know, get to know each other for real.

That's all.


400th Post!!!

Ok so I don't know if that means anything or is anything to celebrate as I blog for my own personal benefit but hey I'm all about celebrating .... well .... anything!

I can't believe it's been over a week since I've posted! I guess I haven't been feeling the urge to write. Or maybe it's because as of late I've had a bad attitude and I do try not to go excessive on the negativity here (note I said excessive so there is some permitted).

Also, I found that blogging/writing is sort of like exercising: If you keep on track it's easy to do but once you take some time of it's hard to get back into the swing of things.

Let's get back to my bad attitude.

You may have noticed lately my tilt towards discontentment in my job. Probably because I am. However, I was remembering in the shower today (I think a lot in the shower) that several years ago while I was a housekeeper/piano teacher/youth worker that I told myself one thing over and over and over 'It's not what you do that makes you happy it's all about your attitude'.

Taking that on as my mantra during a time when I felt at the mercy of other people and my bills was a lifesaver of sorts.

I said it often enough to myself that I began to believe it and not only that began to live it out. Overall I probably was one of the most fulfilled housekeepers around.

Now, I'm not saying you can or should will your way through a bad job or horrible circumstances whenever you face them but you can and should do your best (I mean your best!) to try to make the best of whatever situation you are in.

This is something I've gotten completely complacent with as I have adapted to my husband loving his work and us enjoying what we have. doesn't sound like it makes a lot of sense but I think that's what's happened.

There are always opportunities to complain. Always. And there will always be people that think they are worse off than you (and who may actually be). You will always be able to find someone you think has it better than you.

So, rather than play the game of self pity and 'I hate my life, everything sucks, it can't get any worse' I challenge you (and mostly myself) to play a different game.

It doesn't have to be fake or overly dramatic. You don't have to paint every room in your house a positive pastel or a bright happy colour (although you may like the neon green colour wally and I enjoyed in our last home). You do not have to say you are doing great when maybe you just aren't. BUT we can do our best to be thankful for what we do have.

One little trick that's helped me in the past and may help me now is thinking of that thing we despise or are discontented with in our life right now and imagine it without it.

No, I don't mean (in my case) imagining yourself with a different job, I mean imagining yourself WITHOUT a job at all.

How great would your life be then? Do you depend on your income? Do you need to work to eat?

Perhaps you don't need to actually be working and this is a good exercise to challenge yourself to live out something else.

Or maybe you'll realize your life without a job at all would be far more stressful and unhappy than with the one you have. In that case you need ot do your best to be thankful for the overall good what you have gives to you and then maybe a few more to keep you hanging on.

If you feel like you are not happy doing that job (this is my example) than maybe you then (as you are thankful) spend a little time each day/week/month devoted to dreaming, brainstorming and pursuing something that may bring you more fulfillment. At the same time being realistic that whatever you feel is better will come with it a heap of more challenges.

Here are a few examples....

Current job: Developmental Services Worker
Stressors: Office Politics, Co worker apathy, the 'system'
Good points: helping make people's dreams come to life, getting things done, taking on responsibility, perspective
Desired change within this field: less hours, disconnect from office system (to avoid frustrations), keep professional

Dream job #1: Mom
Stressors: emotional exhaustion, physical exhaustion, overwhelmed, financial instability, doing a good enough job as a parent, marriage
Good points: loving and providing a stable home for a child (at least that's the hope), smiles, laughs, hugs, fun mess, seeing someone discover the world, giving of yourself purely out of love, seeing your partner experience all of these things will you
Desired change within this field: always enough oxygen, enough patience, enough, love, enough time, enough perspective to enjoy all it has to offer.

I'm not sure if you've noticed but the stressors in my dream job far outweigh the potential stressors of my dream job (and I likely missed a few hundred others, I was generalizing).

The grass will always be greener on the other side of the fence. I must choose to enjoy my side while I'm here.

That shall be my challenge to myself and you in post 400.

Hmmmmm ... I'm feeling the urge to be thankful (sad it's only an urge and not unending automatic doing).

Today I am thankful for ... (in no particular order except for the first one :)

*my husband
* my home
* my doggies
* our families and the peace that is in them
* that I can walk down the street safely
* that I can walk
* food and water
* beautiful things
* that I can hear the buzz of the refrigerator (quiet)
* Skype
* my far away friends that keep in touch (seriously e-mail from them is like Christmas!!)
* my close around me friends that hang out even when I'm a crab apple that doesn't listen well
* books
* podcasts
* shade
* my car working
* Wally's car working
* perspective (even though the kicks it gives really hurt and are rather annoying sometimes)
* my job for now
* my little one(s) who will teach me more than I could ever imagine for sure