Sunday, January 23, 2011


Well my few days off are coming to an end. I can't believe how taking two days off can give you so much time to think and examine things. (And how when you leave yourself in your house all day for four days , aside from grabbing a few groceries, you really find a multitude of things to do that you've been putting off).

Though I struggled with guilt over taking the time I am not so glad I did, for both myself and Wally but also for those I support. Even though I can't say I'll be stellar at my job or a shining example of the perfect support worker I do know that I should be able to keep my emotional composure under control and I hopefully won't be on the verge of tears at every turn.

While at home I've done many things I have been putting off. I primed the trim in our one spare room. I was supposed to also have painted 3 coats as well but I didn't wuite get that far. On Friday a lifelong friend came over to help me paint the kitchen.

She actually helped me completely redo the kitchen in our old house and because of the combined 29 hours of work over 2 days we were silly with fatigue and had a great bonding experience. I figured it would be a great way to create some memories here (maybe it'll be a tradition every time we move - she made me promise to stay in this house longer than we did the last after we had done all that work).

It was a simple job though and not too grouling (apparently that's not a word, forgive me). We had fun on the way home from lunch running into the bulk store for some much needed chocolate (you know to keep our engines going - Biggest Loser teammates don't be mad!). We had fun picking out our favourite treats and contemplating over them like it was our last chance in all of life to do so.

The funny thing is she's a stick and .... I'm not, yet she has never in my life ever made me feel less than her or different than her. We've known eachother for nearly 30 years and have been able to maintain that friendship despite our vast differences and many changes through life.

The fact that she had a son at age 16 and still went to college while raising him, with the help of her very disappointed and embarrassed parents. She was able to meet an amazing man who is an amazing father to her son and has maintained working in the field of her choosing very successfully as well. I admire her really.

It was a gift to spend time with her Friday, made more special by her honesty during lunch about her fears that our friendship would fade as Wally and I's lives had changed once we moved into the city. She also expressed wanting to spend more time together. That meant a lot to me. Both because she's not generally that forthright when it comes to feelings and that she really wanted to see me more.

True friends are gifts for sure.

Today after I gave up on the notions that I would actually paint after priming I moved onto the idea of cooking. I don't cook very much and when I do it's generally the staples. they are my new clean eating staples like a yummy stir fry or clean meatballs but really not many other dishes on a regular basis.

I decided it was time to experiment a bit with ingredients I'd bought months ago as well as on our last grocery run and see how it would go.

Unfortunately when I cook I like to do it during a one day period. SO instead of cooking Monday, Wednesday and Friday I'll cook all day Sunday. This isn't really the best for fresh food but it's what I do.

I made a Black Bean Soup (that I have yet to try), a Shrimp and Veggie Schezchan (I don't have the patience to look that one up) stir fry or pasta covering (it was great!), and a tofu /tomato/spinach pesto fiesta to go on pasta (also yet to try). I also cooked up chicken for Wally's lunches.

I learned that shrimp is worth the work of peeling and I wonder why I hadn't bit the bullet earlier to cook with it. That Everything tastes better with fresh foods and I can't wait to have my own vegetable garden this year.

Now I'm pooped.

I haven't mentioned this before because I didn't want to admit to being in the high statistic of people that don't keep their new year's resolutions but my facebook one 'only go on facebook once a day' didn't go as planned. Wally had commented on January the second that he felt that once a day was a little strict and that he would hate to see my social life hindered due to this rule.

Of course this seemed like a great reason to give up all together. And I did.

However, checking the most addictive social network on the planet 50 times a day wasn't really what I wanted for myself either.

Today I decided I would give another try at taming in my addiction. My initial goal was to only check it 3 times in the day but I would be happy if it were between 4-6. As it stands at 6:50pm I've checked it three times so I think I'll likely end up at a total of 4 times today. My ultimate goal is only 2 or 3 times a day and in time maybe less, but as it stands so much of what goes on in social circles is attached to it I doubt right now I will pursue less than that. Maybe a time will come when I will and if I feel the need I will abide but I'd say 3 times a day is far better than 50. I'll share how it goes.

I've had a lot of time to think as well.

Today I was particularly down. Wondering if I could ever find a job that would make me happy, or is it just me? I am yet to find an answer to that question but I will say that I am not done exploring.

There are a few ideas I feel as though I need to ponder and look at before I decide that happiness is only about the job you do. I feel, as I did with all of my other jobs, it's all in your attitude and your approach. This doesn't mean that you will find great joy in every job you do but that you can do anything and with the right approach, maintain an element of happiness. I know I felt that way while housekeeping and teaching piano.

I am wondering if there are things I can do to the part of my life that isn't related to my job to enhance my life at work.

Things I'm considering:

* Is media giving me a headache of sorts? Is it causing me to always be 'on' and not purpose myself to relax? Would I benefit from taking a prescribed break from it once in a while?

* Am I missing pursuing a spiritual life? Whether it be purposefully studying spiritual things or gathering with a group of like minded people (well a group of people that all want to grow at least). Do I need to seek out a church again?

* Am I spending enough meaningful time with friends? Could I be doing more to enrich old and current friendships, as well as establishing new ones?

* Do I new to try new physical activities that I've never tried before? Am I bored with what I am doing?

* Am I being responsible with all I've been given? Money, possessions, time, thoughts, people? Are there ways I could share more, be more responsible or creative?

* Do I have enough fun? Do I laugh often? What makes me laugh? Are there ways I can make this happen more? What do I find fun?

* Am I spending enough time with family? Am I staying connected to them, giving them what they need from me, taking what they have to offer?

* What makes me happy? Am I doing things that make me happy? If so, am I sharing my happiness with others?

I'm sure there are more questions I could ask myself but these are the ones that come to mind. Please share any thoughts you may have. Though I can't say I have a plan on how to answer these questions it could be an adventure of sorts learning what the answers are.

I'm actually kind of getting excited.

This could be fun!