Tuesday, May 4, 2010

#33 - 100 Things you should know about me - Part 1

OK so I'm sending this one in 4 parts because seriously, like you want to read that much about me in one sitting. Or ... seriously, like I want to write that much about me in one sitting. OK probably I don't mind, but we'll do this little by little anyways...

1. Cinnamon gum is my favourite. The spicier the better. (What can I say, I'm hot).

2. I'm currently writing this while wearing an 'I Heart My Wally' (yes the word heart is actually spelled) t-shirt I made for Christmas last year, and some fun 'Cosmopolitan Queen' polka dotted panties I've just been able to started wearing due to weight loss. (First of all, who knew 13 pounds could possibly make a difference in the underwear you wear, and second of all I made no promises you actually wanted to know any of these items - I won't apologize).

3. My favourite colour is blue, the brighter the better. I think it's because when I wear contacts I get (or got) more compliments on my eyes than anything else on my body.

4. I rarely, if ever, put CD's back into their actual CD case. This drives Wally mad. Me too.

5. My parents house got hit by a tornado when I was 18, while I was in it, just me and the dog. I nearly didn't make it out unscathed (seriously a matter of seconds).

6. Though I am not a movie person, "Juno" is the closest movie I've seen that reflects my humour - I love it!

7. In the past year I have discovered how much I LOVE going to the movies by myself (usually in the middle of the afternoon, sometimes at a sketchy theatre where the floors are sticky and one man runs the whole show.) I can think more.

8. Wally and I waited to have our first 'lip kiss' until we were at the alter (I know, it's insane).

9. I have an attachment to sparkles because my aunt that passed away was always referred to as being 'the sparkle in the room'. I take the chance to wear them any time I can (though with a certain amount of caution).

10. Though I, like everyone else, have 'ugly' days, most of the time I feel beautiful (more so with make up :).

11. I am super sensitive about my permanently red nose: this makes me feel shallow (the fact that I'm sensitive about it, not that fact that it's red).

12. My first kiss happened when I was 17, on a bus, with a guy I barely knew (it was a long trip bus ride, not a city bus - that'd be REALLY bad). It was absolutely disgusting and I hated it, but hated the fact that my mom teased me that I was '16 and never been kissed' more, but it's not like I told her anyway.

13. I prefer drinking water 95% of the time. The other 5% it would be hot chocolate, or some alcohol related beverage.

14. Music totally gets me dreaming.

15. I think the last time I ever hated a job I was 12. That's a pretty good record (especially considering all the jobs I've had) - it's all in the attitude.

16. Immature adults annoy me to no end - especially if they have kids.

17. I get completely bored out of my skull during action scenes of movies. I can't stand the fight scene in the Lion King, it's just annoying.

18. If my skin wouldn't shrivel up, I would spend the entire day sitting curled up in my bath tub with the shower running on me.

19. I swear a lot these days. Not sure why I do or why I like it so much. I don't particularly find it an attractive quality in a person but it's mine for now.

20. I sometimes worry that my new outlook on life is making me vain. Gotta watch that.

21. I believe that if you own China you should make up 'special occasions' to use it.

22. I am convinced my 'meanness' is just honesty. Wally isn't. I realize I'm in denial.

23. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people say 'I can't afford it'. I believe we can afford anything we want, just maybe not everything we want. You will have what you prioritize the most.

24. I'm an insomniac (I say as I've been up since 4:30am for the joy of writing).

25. I have a serious guilt complex that rears it's ugly head most in my work life and when I'm eating.

My list isn't all that exciting but it's all me. There you go!

#16 - Invite 5 more people to read this blog

It's 4:30am and I'm awake because I'm excited. Ridiculous. Why? Because I invited exactly 5 more people to read my blog.

It's kind of odd that I'm excited about it knowing what I know from what can happen when one invites others into their head, but I am. I know that there's a big chance no one will read past my recent adventures into all of the other writing I've done about my life, things that have changed it, changed me.

Since last summer when I started the blog I was really only on a quest to 'get it all out', all of my thoughts, feelings and emotions I've had thus far in life (or at least all I've had since last summer while recounting the whole thing). Wally teased me about starting it as 'who was going to read it?' And I was going to become 'one of those people'. I think he's since realized I'm a narcissist by nature so it's really only natural.

I've realized that blogging, for me, has been cathartic and healing. Not just through the writing but even more so through the handful of people that I've been privileged to get to know as well.

I've mentioned before somewhere on this thing that I often spend time reading my own writing. I laugh out loud, I cry (shhhhh don't tell anyone, people think I'm stone, I kinda like it that way), and I re think my reactions to the world around me. I just find it amazing how I can have moments after I've written something, hours or even days later, when I go 'That's it! That's why!'.

I had one of those moments yesterday and it's amazing how you can really grasp something you didn't think you could grasp until you just mulled it over in your heart and mind. I love it!

For me understanding others is one of the greatest gifts I could have, however I am such an incredibly long way from perfecting it, as I'm certain I get more judgmental everyday. But as my blog title says 'I'm a work in progress'. (Apparently every one else is too as there are a million other blogs with that name - a hopeful thing).

All that to say though I'm terrified to be disagreed with, loved too much, answered every time I have a question, or my worst fear of all, being completely misunderstood. I will continue, every now and then, to stretch out my fearful self and invite others in. Because I've learned that out of the many that might want to 'see inside' there will always be one, every so often, that will 'connect' and 'get it'. And for that one more person in the world that I get to be real with, it's completely worth it.

I've invited 5 people to read my blog (6 including Dee, who will soon be renamed) and I already know that it was worth it, because I have 'connected'.

Thank you. What a huge gift for me. I don't take it for granted.