Sunday, August 15, 2010

Getting the hang of things

Well ladies and gents, it's been a whole week without any blogging and the world is still a turning which tells me something. I'm but a simple addition to this little thing called life, and that's ok with me.

To be honest I haven't had a whole lot on my mind. (Ok so that's not entirely true but what I have on my mind I cannot blog about).

I've been trying to settle into this new 'balanced' lifestyle that I'm working on. I have to say, it's going pretty well.

I've been spending my time working, playing, resting, exerting my physical energy, talking, rekindling some friendships and trying to patch up others.

I cannot emphasize enough how much my incredibly unbalanced work life over the past 10 months has affected the rest of my life. I sort of feel like I am just noticing a tornado that whipped through and now am trying to assess the damage and figure out where to start to 'clean up'.

It, at times, has felt overwhelming. Closets over run with scrap booking supplies and pictures waiting to be creatively placed (I've realized I don't think that I even like scrapbooking just the finished product). Friends we haven't visited in over a year waiting to be seen. Other relationships that have been put on the back burner that have boiled over while waiting for attention. Then there’s my spirit that is overjoyed that I’ve allowed this miracle of time to be found.

If someone had told me a year ago that my 30 hr contract along with school and my 30 hr placement would have lead me down a wretched path of unbalanced disarray I wouldn’t have believed it. I would’ve argued that I was immune to relationship follies (especially with those closest to me), that I ‘could handle whatever comes my way’, and that ‘there’s no way I could gain 15 pounds in a few short months'.

I sacrificed everything, my body, mind and the wellness of my spirit to accomplish things.

My body, mind and spirit, I have since learned are worth far more than ‘things’.

Things being money, stuff, peoples’ opinions, earning respect, feeling needed.

It’s kind of strange. It’s only been over the past couple of weeks of trimming the fat of my life that I’ve realized the extent of the damage of my past actions.

It's like I turned my head and the garden that was my life became weeds. Not great news to a non gardener.

On a good note I have enjoyed rediscovering lost friendships, and am determined to do the necessary work to bring others back to life (as long as other parties are willing and welcoming). We'll see how it goes. I certainly have no right to float in and out of lives at my willing, therefore much is dependent on others and grace.

I have really enjoyed time with some acquaintances, old friends and possibly new friends as of late. I think over the past 2 weeks I've met up with at least 4 people I haven't seen since or before our party and I've been able to have good visits with them. I have a bunch more reconnections planned for this week and next and I am very much looking forward to it.

I'd love to go somewhere deep with this but I got nothin'.

Have a happy day :)