Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Been a while

I've really slowed down on the writing lately, but only in blog form. I've really just been trying to decide if and how I should possibly go ahead with a different blog.

Will it benefit anyone? Will it benefit me? Is it purely narcissistic? Do I have the time and energy to put into what I want to? (As I'd like it to be daily). Am I ready to be honest even more openly? (Though I know I'd remain more guarded than on this blog - I may need to keep it as a back up).

Though its just a little thing, blogging, it had shown me that it has the power to do big things, whether positive or negative.

In other news ...

I've returned to facebook which I'm also torn about.

I really enjoy the easy access to friends and connecting with people and being 'in the know', but on the other hand there's the compulsion to check it as well. I'm doing far better with it than when I left and I plan on that to continue but the issues of constant wondering of whether you ticked someone off, or if what so and so said was supposed to irritate you or you're reading into it. It's all that non sense that makes me wonder if it's all that good.

I will say that I chose to share our news (with Wally's permission) about the adoption and it was probably one of the greatest points and positive moments during this adoption (aside from telling Wally's family and some very heartfelt e-mails from some of you readers).

Hearing wonderful wishes from people and so many that were accepting of our decision was amazing and worth my cheating and going back on a month early. I'm sure some people think less of me for breaking my commitment to staying off until my 10 K but I'd rather like to see it as success to have remained quiet for the 2 1/2 months that I did. It wasn't a need at all to go back on, since I got very used to not going on and I learned that when I did go on once a week to just see who got pregnant and who had babies and see their pictures that really all in all real life is not the facebook world, it's lived outside of it. When facebook becomes a world you think is truly real and all there is, that's when problems happen.

I hope to stay on track and really take the time to think things through as I venture on with it. I'm not perfect. But neither is anyone else.

In other other news...

In 4 days I'm officially on vacation and off to the land of warmth and one of my closest friends. I'm looking forward to a break in life hear and time away to think (amidst the children!) and consider what to do and how to approach the next several months in terms of getting my PT course done, possibly writing a new blog with others involved and brainstorming a new small business venture with my friend. and of course the biggest thing ... becoming parents and what that will look like.

I heard a great quote the other day that really made me think. This isn't it to perfection but here's the gist ....

It was something to the effect of: 'Your passion is what you are doing while you are procrastinating doing what you have to do'. (This really is a rough version of it but I think it comes across).

I want to know what that is. And more importantly, I want to do it.