Tuesday, April 12, 2011

I'm a runner ...


My new thing.

Well, sort of. I kind of feel like a fraud saying I'm a runner.

I mean, I wear real underwear that bunches up (and don't care who knows it), I don't have any special running gear like a 'breathable jacket', an armband for my ipod (yet), or the 'I'm so cool, this is so freakin' easy, I don't even sweat' look while I'm doing it.

Nope. That's so not me.

A couple days ago when I was out doing my very first run outside (ever) within minutes my ipod (which was Wally's and he gave it to my under strict directions to take good care of it, as I have a reputation of ... losing, scratching and breaking things like that) went flying out of my pocket onto the grass.

Let's just say it's hard to look graceful picking up an ipod off the groudn while still trying to maintain cool athelete mode. It was Sunday morning, no one was around. Thank God.

I can't talk about my lack of great appearance in the sport without mentioning my rooster hair (why would I fix it when I'm gonna have a shower later anyways?!), or my blazing red Rudolf nose (well, I can run in the fog without fear).

All these things combined create quite an entertaining scene, one I wasn't too sure about taking on the road - literally.

But I did last Sunday because in less than 3 weeks I want to achieve my 5K running goal. One I set mysefl up for nicely by turning it into a fund raising event. I really wasn't having any sorts of doubts about being able to achieve this until I got sick the week before we left for Thailand. I remember trying to do my second 25 minute run and barely making 12. My head, nor my heart were in it, let alone my body.

I knew I had to rest. Then of course we were away for 2 weeks at which point I had no plans what so ever of running in any sort of heat, as I was used to the depths of our Canadian winter. We did get plenty of exercise riding our bicycles but that's not the same.

When we got home I worried as it had been 3 weeks plus since running and I had a serious case of jetlag (which I've just overcome!!!). I tried one run on the treadmill and it was sad but I tried. That was my only comfort.

Great spring weather was ushered in on the weekend so I decided 'it's now or never'. My first goal was 10 mins jogging, 5 mins walking, then 10 mins jogging outside. It's one of the workouts they give you before you're hurled into the crazy 20 min run.

Well I did it. Which was a relief because it seems to be that everyone believes that when I say: 'I gonna do blah, blah and blah' that I'm actually gonna do it!!!

It's kind of funny to me when people refer to my 'adventurous spirit' (had that one several times lately from many different people), or my 'zest for life', or my 'crazy ideas'. I seriously always respond in my head with 'WHAT?! You don't know very many exciting people then!'

I'm so incredibly ... run of the mill, not to mention a fraidy cat.

I dont' mean that in a bad way, I just mean that I realize that I'm just normal. I havent' lived in another country, I still keep every receipt from every special trip, I have a regular job, and I thoroughly annoy lots of people (maybe there's something to be said for that -ha ha ha!!).

Anyhoo, I definitely have wondered about this running thing BUT am determined to finish. Today I ran 21 mins straight outside. Or in my language: six songs.

Here are a few things I observed while running:

The first 5-10 mins seem like absolute torture (considering I only run for 20 straight right now I'm not a fan of that ratio).

While being tortured I realize I'm in love with children's sidewalk chalk drawings, they make me smile big every time I see some (even if I've seen them 3 days in a row!). They make things so much better.

As I continue on I decide I love crescents. They're great! You can go down one and know that in a couple mins you will end up on the very same street again - no worries!!! For a girl who is seriously directionally challenged and who lives in a subdivision this is amazing.

Minute 13 - I discover that by pretending a song was written and sung only for me I pretty much feel like I'm a superstar, which makes me think: 'Hells yeah I'm a runner!'

About 15 mins in I wonder who the hell came up with this goal. I hate them. I contemplate quitting.

16 mins in I decide not to because there'll be at least 5 people a the 5K fund raiser and I must live up to the moment. Even if I'm dying and I have four people walking my sorry legs to the finish line.

17-19 mins of the run I visualize a ridiculous slow motion scene of me crossing the finish line with crowds of people squirting their water bottles at me and hugging on me while I do the ugly cry and not care that I look like I was just run over by a train. (I'd better work on a finish line .... and recruiting people to squirt water bottles. Maybe a make up artist would be a smart way to go too).

At 20 mins I think 'I could totally run further'.

Around 21-22 mins my six songs are done and my favourite one to celebrate my success comes on. 'Perfect' by Pink. Love Pink.

Then I walk myself towards home happy with achieving my day's running goal.

Once I get near my block I begin jogging again, just in case the neighbours think I have wimped out half way through and are onto my 'I'm a runner' facade.

Once I get into the house I realize that the side of our crescent I ran up never saw me running in the first place so I could've just passed for a walker. The added torture was in vain.

Oh well.

I'm a runner .... sort of.