Friday, January 7, 2011

Cluttered closets and greasy hair

Warning: The following post is entirely a selfish effort to destress, unload and just feel better on my part. Very little of it will enlighten, build up or make your life brighter. (Not that it generally does but I thought I'd give you fair warning).


Today is my Saturday. I am off to do errands, catch up and maybe, if I'm lucky, relax. Even as I write this I realize real women with children, who never get a break, will roll their eyes at the very notion of me needing a break, let alone getting one, but I will continue to write with ignorance.

I've been longing for a day to do nothing. Nothing but read, laze about, and organize my mind.

My mind needs organizing.

It gets like that storage closet (or room) that often has stuff just thrown into it, over and over, cluttered and possibly abandoned for days, weeks, and months at a time. It becomes a haven for junk, then appears useless and unnecessary. Well this definitely describes the mind I've been carrying around lately.

I feel like I just need time to think.

I love thinking.

Not in my father's way of 'thinking'. Which, incidentally, involves a porcelain thrown of sorts and perhaps a gas mask.

No I like time to just let my mind wonder, dream, sort, throw out, clean up and organize what's filling it up.

I was really hoping today might be the day.

I was wrong.

Instead I spent the beginning of my morning at Walmart spending without a budget, then to the Bulk Barn to add to my guilt, home to throw what needed to be refrigerated away then on to pick a fight.

It is a valid fight.

After my car got written off in the accident I learned that I'd get most of the warranty I purchased back. So I made a few phone calls and thought I had it dealt with. After waiting too long I looked into it again. Someone made a mistake and we had to start over. Correction: I had to start over. Several more phone calls and I awaited my check ... again.

I still hadnt' received anything so I made more phone calls. To the bank, the warranty company, the car dealership.

Today I got to do the run around again. Once again I almost cried on the phone. Once again I almost threatened to come in and show people who's boss. (I won't tell you what I wanted to say to them and really restrained myself from spouting out). In case you ever wondered, 'they' don't care who thinks they're the boss, especially when 'they' still have your $1500 in their bank account.

Any hoo I'm still waiting for someone to call me back AGAIN and have numerous times reminded myself how insignificant this money is in the general scheme of the world. It's not like I'm planning to buy some life changing medication for someone or anything. Nope. I just want a new couch and love seat. Pretty superficial stuff but blood boiling to me. Luckily perspective smacks me in the face at the right times or I'd be known as the 'crazy car lady who keeps leaving rude messages'. (Ok so I'm lying, they do consider me the 'crazy car lady who keeps leaving rude messages' but they could be ruder).

I did go and get me hair cut and coloured. That sort of makes me feel better. Well sort of. I have boy hair now and it looks a bit greasy because of goo, but on the up side there are no grays. I am still inwardly dealing with the fact that I have chosen to start drowning the little buggers at a less than admirable price tag (and I even go to a reasonable hair dresser). Oh well, I did get ID'd at the liquor store a week ago so I guess it's worth it. (You can see I am prioritizing humankind's needs perfectly right now eh? No one said I was Jesus).

I went to the grocery store on my way home from the hair dresser's, (that by the way is 40 mins on the highway away - yeah she's that good) to pick up fresh stuff so I wouldn't have to deal with the bustle of the city. I loved it. I even discovered that this grocery store sold personal sized shrimp portions for cheap. It excited me even though I didn't buy any.

Oh and by the way, Walmart, Bulk Barn and the grocery store held things for me that are all bad and I engaged. That's all about that.

After watching a couple of home reno shows I'm freezing and blogging in my favourite room, listening to the house make noises that sound like the ones on 'Law and Order'. You know between scenes: boom, boom, boom. Or maybe it's: ting, ting, ting. I don't know. I can't convey the right tone in text. But it freaks me out a bit.

I really need to skedaddle (cool! that's an actual word!!) though because we're off to a birthday party tonight with my greasy looking boy hair which I don't seem to mind.

I need to take another look at my resolutions. Less like they are resolutions and more like just changes I want to make, slowly over time. (Though I won't lie, immediate would be great too).

I need to carve out relax time. Think time. Cool down time. Or in this season in Canada warm up time.

I need to slow down a little each day. I know I have a friend who would tell me to stop each day and maybe pray and let God talk to me or just be with me. I don't always feel spiritual enough to be his friend, but I know he doesn't judge me. At least I don't think so.

I'm rethinking some long term atmospheric change for my life. Aren't I always?

Oh well. I guess I'm a rollin' stone.

That's ok though. I think.

P.S. Wally and I made a decision. About .... you know. AND we have peace ... I think. We're excited. Thanks for the thoughts :)