Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Always hungry


It's not quite 1:30 in the afternoon and I have just sat down (rather unlady like for a woman wearing a dress, but I'm home alone) from accomplishing a ridiculous amount of work and will choose to relax for the next hour before going to work for the afternoon/evening.

I just watched a little boy who I'm guessing is around 8 or 9 years old wheel by on his bike. He looked flushed from the heat, his blond hair was sweaty and he wore pop bottle glasses, and by the way was not using his hands.

The first thing I think is 'I wonder if he bathes everyday?' Do kids bathe everyday? I would hope if they're all sweaty. Hmmmm, I'll have to figure this out.

I have time.

I hate that when I finally have time to sit and write all of the topics that have rushed through my head in the past week have indeed gone through my head leaving only tumbleweeds behind...

Yesterday was the day I said my dreaded goodbyes to Glo. Shockingly enough I kept it together. We had lunch at an AMAZING burger place called Relsih. There aren't words and since I'm not a food blogger I won't go on, but I could, I really, really could.

We also picked up gourmet cupcakes (since I'd never had one officially) to celebrate her birthday which she'll be gone for in August.

We exchanged gifts of goodbye and hugged trying to pretend that we'd see each other next week at the gym. the pretending worked. Unlike the previous week of blubbering I had done in Wal-mart, Chapters, the grocery store and at home, I did not shed a tear. I think I've finally come to the place where I realize we will remain friends no matter how it may be lived out in the future. I needn't grieve without hope.

We decided to initiate our good bye date at the gym with my longest run yet, at least that was my hope.

It prevailed and I ran a comfortable 4 miles. I realized I could've either gone farther or quicker as I wasn't dying by the end, but I was happy with how I did anyway. Beyond happy. I'm 2/3rds of the way to 10 K.

I was just looking online for an actual 10 K race to do this fall, as that is my goal. I found one in a little town near my home town. I'm hoping by the end of the week to commit to it. That is a huge step for me.

I've also been browsing running clubs in my city. I still have a difficult time referring to myself as a runner. I'm not lean (I've gained 15 pounds since December of last year, but that's another blog post), I'm not fast, unless you conclude that 10:45min/mile is fast, and I'm not all that knowledgeable (or at all).

But I need to get my socializing out some how and I'm afraid with Glo gone I'll run away from the gym and my goals. Although today I went to the gym near our house alone for the first time, that's impressive for me. I did almost give up halfway through though seeing as I think all of the women in the women's only section were where I was.

I'm trying to figure out what new thing to explore this summer, what new experience I should have.

2 years ago I started this blog and went on my notorious '40 Day adventure' where I tried 40 mew things in 40 days (well I only got to 37 but 40 was the goal). It honestly changed my life.

Last summer I took a week off by myself which included 2 days and 2 nights at a B & B alone. If you were reading back then you'll know that's when I realized I was indeed called to be a mother. Almost exactly a year later Wally and I handed in our first round of paperwork for adoption. Crazy.

And still, I'm bored. Yes, there are always things to do, chores to accomplish and priorities to make but you don't always learn from those things or get excited by them.

I just want to do something different, meet more new people, once again experience something brand new. I'm guessing next year at this time I'll be very close if not already experiencing something new by hopefully becoming a mother ... we'll see.

What can I do now? What can I try?

I swear. I'm never satisfied.


Zoe said...

You were wearing a dress?? Do you do this often and I don't know about it? I like it! =)

So glad your goodbye went okay... there's probably a little relief in having it done, no?

10K here you come!!!

Maybe you should get into Zumba? It seems to be all the rage...

tessa said...

I just spoke with someone on Monday who has hooked up with a great running coach. I can get the name for you - she runs all the time not with a group but with some other ladies - want her name?

Eva said...