Thursday, July 30, 2009

Adventure Day 10 – Crossing the line

Yesterday was Day10 (and I’ve decided that depending on how I feel I may post my days the next day but when I write it will be about that specific day. Oh I’m confused, oh well).

Though the weather was not very co-operative yesterday I had something to look forward to, a lunch date with a longtime friend and a new blog friend. I have to say right away that it feels weird to write something about people that I know will read this, but I will carry on.

My long time friend from a far away land (now) was in the country for a visit with family and she was kind enough to make time for lunch with me. She was the first person that I invited to read my blog and has diligently followed it and been an encouragement to me through out. During this time she has also done me the favor of sharing the blog (with my permission and prodding) with a couple of her friends. Though this blog is anonymous I thought that was fine because who she told wouldn’t really know who was writing and I wouldn’t have to worry about anything. Anyway, one of the people she invited, her sis-in-law, caught on who the author was and I was discovered. This ended up becoming a good thing because she actually has enjoyed the blog. So when my long time friend came for her visit she asked if I wanted to share our lunch date also with her sis-in-law (or perhaps they were sharing their date with me, it’s doesn’t really matter).

I generally look forward to meeting new people (although I have met her, I didn’t really know her), I love connecting and all that stuff, but I have to admit, it was a little scary to cross the borders of anonymity with this. Not at all because of who this person was, just because I do try to write very honestly, sometimes deeper, some times just light and funny, but all of it is from my heart. It’s weird to realize (for real) that someone you don’t really know knows you, like the deep down honest part of you, only from reading your thoughts. It’s kind of a strange feeling. It was even kind of weird when I met my close friend at first. She even said herself: ‘This is kind of weird, I feel like you are a totally different person’. Though there was no disclaimers afterwards I am trusting it’s an ok different.

Now as these two ladies are reading this I don’t want to freak them out. I had an awesome time with them and so enjoyed getting to know my new friend (and yes, I believe we will be friends – we’re even going for coffee next week), but I thought it was interesting to interact with blog followers outside of blog world, even the ones I already knew. It makes me realize how different writing your thoughts and reactions to life can be over just experiencing them or talking about them with someone.

I think I have already mentioned that I have completed #8 – inviting 5 friends to read my blog. This of course totally destroys the idea of anonymity I try to keep. I chose carefully and I even have invited a couple of extra people to read too. This may make you wonder why I am even trying to be anonymous. Well for a few reasons. First, it’s kind of fun having made up names for myself and others - there is meaning behind almost every name I give to people, I love that. Second, by me thinking no one knows me I am left completely vulnerable and honest, this is something I feel the world needs more of, even if it means people seeing my unending list of flaws. I know that when I meet someone who lives honestly I feel an immediate connection and sense of friendship, even if I only chat for a few minutes and never again, I feel filled – what a gift. I also change names and stuff out of respect for those I mention (my family and friends), I will end up sharing more of my story as time passes and in that there are other stories. I want to be careful to tell both with some sense of dignity, I know right now that I won’t do this well all of the time but I will at least try.

There you have it! I didn’t strike anything off of my list technically but I think that crossing the borders of anonymity of this blog should count. As I invited another very new friend and co-worker last night I told her that she should only read it if she wanted to see me naked – of course I meant it metaphorically.

Hmmmm … maybe I should rename the blog to ‘A Nude Dimension’

Too cheesy?

Don’t answer that.


Anonymous said...

Wow, I hadn't thought about how hard it would be to see people after knowing they read the blog. It's almost like a forced / rushed kind of intimacy where people find out things about you very quickly that they wouldn't otherwise know for years! That's a pretty vulnerable posistion to be in, one that few people would allow themselves to be in.
I think that the things I appreciate the most about your blog is the complete honesty. Keep it up:)
I'm glad you guys had a good visit! I'm SURE you two will be friends as I think you're a very friendly person!
PS- I'm all for changing the name of your blog. Talk about rushing intimacy though! JK! Have a good weekend.

Anonymous said...

LOL - Those first few minutes in the van were rather awkward weren't they? I kind of felt like we were on a first date or something! =) So glad it got better (back to normal) after that.