Wednesday, April 28, 2010

The Actual Party

Now onto the actual event...

Needless to say I got no sleep the night before the party. Probably for two reasons: I was so excited that Zoe was here for my party and I had a double chocolate chip frappuccino while at Starbucks.

When Wally and I got up I was exhausted. However the show went on. I got ready and went on my way to pick up Pumpkin (who had kindly agreed to do creative things with the fruits, veggies and made incredible cookies!!) to get groceries for the party. We went and were very successful in picking up what we needed at not horrific prices.

I dropped everything off (including Pumpkin - my sister in law) at the hall and I went to get my hair and make up done. After a quiet time at the hair dressers I got transformed into a movie star (well a slightly chubby movie star). Then I went to my parents to grab food and wait. It was weird to just wait but I did until I couldn't wait any longer and off I went back to the neighbouring town the party was in and picked up a necklace (cheap) to wear and got a boutonniere for Wally (because he was too cheap to get a new shirt). I got the key from Pumpkin and arrived at the hall to try and do something.

At that point all the little oldies were leaving from their card match and I started bout five different jobs without completing any of them. Wally and a friend of his in tow soon arrived.

In no time my miracle friend and Zoe came and did their magic along with my amazing decorator friend a whirl wind of creativity happened. Within 2 hours our hall was transformed into the perfect party setting, details and all. I was in awe. Complete awe.

We all got dressed (you know, cause we were nude) and waited for our guests to arrive. Not long before 7pm they started coming through the doors. I think after the first few came in the rest was a blur. An hour into it there were more people than I could possibly keep up with. In total we had over 112 people there.

As they took seats there was a buzz in the air. Conversations happening, people reconnecting, flashes of pictures being taken. I tried my best to connect with each person there but it was merely impossible. I'd have people come up to me and begin conversations only to be interrupted by another person who'd walked in the door. I found that some people would start into every day conversations with me about a broken down car, or some other event, or so and so in the hospital. Not exactly what I was expecting.

I'm not sure what I was expecting. Perhaps meaningful conversation right off the hop like 'I love you so much.' 'You mean something to me too.' 'Life really is a gift'. I don't know, something touching I guess. Don't get me wrong I did have a few say thank you for having the party (but let's be honest, they're getting a free buffet and night out, why wouldn't they say that). This just goes to show you how self centred we are (ok maybe just I am) when giving to others sometimes. I guess I just wanted affirmation on things, maybe even confirmation.

Anyhoo. A little after 8pm I made the big announcement everyone was waiting impatiently for. (Can I just say I've never been asked so many times if I was pregnant before in one stretch of time). I said my speech. The speech. I finally told everyone why they were here. Why we were all here. I expressed our gratitude for the people that were sitting in front of us. How much we loved them and how deeply they had changed our lives even if they were present for a short season in our lives. I almost cracked and broke down but I held it together and got through. I don't remember all I said just that Wally approved and sincerely felt I did well and covered all the bases (that's a huge compliment as he is the hardest on me and my speaking skills).

So after the seriousness we had a few fun games (including the newlywed game with our parents - it was pretty fun!) then we left people to mingle, eat and enjoy some dancin'.

I got out there and gave my legs a good workout during the dance. Was thankful for Wally's younger cousin who came (I'd guess she's maybe 12) who knew all the words to every song with accompanying moves. The music wasn't all that great but we coped. I enjoyed dancin' with my family, friends and especially my home church people that I haven't seen for a while.

I continued to see new faces that I'd forgotten would be there, get pictures taken and give a hug or two. But I have to be completely honest. Overall my party was one of the loneliest experiences I've had. There were so many people and only one me. I couldn't really connect with anyone the way I love connecting.

Now, just because I am saying that I was or felt lonely doesn't mean I didn't have a good time. I did. It also doesn't mean I regret having the party, I don't for a second. I guess I just learned how much I really get out of just simple connections.

My biggest hope out of all this I think will be realized more as time goes on. Memories do seem to get better with time - they already have in this case. I received a beautiful e-mail from my uncle's wife (he was married to my aunt that passed) and she said everything that I really wanted to hear. She seemed to 'get it'. That is what I wanted out of all of this. Someone to 'get' that life is short. to get that life is special. To understand how important it is to share your love for those around you while you have them.

That sort of brings me back to how I started my last post. I was talking with Smoky Mama on the phone earlier and she mentioned that Pumpkin couldn't figure out why I hadn't invited someone whom held a very influential role in my life early on. She apparently was a bit ticked off about it (as this person did definitely play a significant role at one point).

After thinking about it and being irritated that someone could possibly feel as if they could judge me on who I feel I wanted to be a part of my 'Celebrate Life' Party. I pondered. Was I a bitter human being? (More in regards to this person) No, not really. We parted, it was awkward. We did our best to make it the best parting it could be and considering the circumstances I think we both did as well as we could. Was I trying to hurt this person? No, I never see them really, it honestly never occurred to me that they would know anything about it (although that seems naive since we all come from Smallville).

Honestly I didn't feel it necessary to invite someone who doesn't celebrate me now. Though Wally and I aren't close to every person that was at our party they were connected to us and in a way we still feel connected to them, whether we drifted apart or life just took over. My significant former friend (whom I honestly wish well) and I did not drift at all we severed our friendship, with good intentions I think. Knowing that it was better for all involved (or at least Wally and I knew this) that we not pursue a close friendship any longer.

We wanted our party to be a celebration - period. Not obligatory invites and awkward moments. That's what our wedding was for.

So as I re-ponder who we included and who we didn't I feel no regret over those offered to come. We had the perfect people in attendance. People that love and accept us and were there for us when others turned their backs and didn't understand. Not every significant person in your life does that. Some unexpected seemingly insignificant people do.

When I think about it I guess that's what we really wanted to do ... throw a party for no significant reason at all, yet for every significant reason there could possibly be.

Well intended or not we did it. We're glad and we are truly grateful for all sorts of people who have come and gone through our lives whether they were at our celebration or not.

Do me favour: next time you see a party balloon, celebrate someone you know you deserves to be celebrated. You are the only one that can.



Anonymous said...

Maybe you shouldn't get irritated and blog about heresay, especially when said info comes from someone who is a notorious exaggerater. Thanks.

Eva said...

I do believe I am entitled to get as irritated as the next person and blog freely.

It, in the end, helps me work things out in my heart.

Clearly I'm flawed. I'll be the first to admit it.