Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Ninjas in Wrinkleville and other wandering thoughts...

This morning my thoughts wandered a bit.

Nothing much new about this except I thought I'd try and write them down to share with y'all before I forgot. You know, 'cause they could like, change the world or something.

I was waken up by a horrible song on the radio (from the station that neither Wally nor I like but seems to be a mediation - at least he thinks it is).

I kinda think that I was dreaming at the time because in my dream I hated the song too. Mysteries.

I suited up for my morning dragging by the dogs (right now I'm hoping there's only one meaning for the word 'dragging'. Who knows these days).

I put on Wally's black silky track pants with a white stripe down each leg, over my lovely M & M pj's that, to be honest, I find really ugly but fitting for me (I have a love for peanut M & Ms). I then put on my biggest, thickest maroon hoodie with yellow 'Florida State' letters on it. Once again another article of clothing I honestly think is ugly to look at but perfection to wear.

I then dug out my thick multi coloured toque, put it on then whipped my hoodie hood over top of it. Then came my huge blue-plus-other coloured scarf (over my hoodie hood), soon followed by my sporty winter coat.

Oh, I think I forgot to mention putting on heavy M & M night socks which at some point throughout the evening I throw off because I am too warm. I usually put them back on in the morning and tuck my pj pants into them, you know, to help them from wandering north while I make the addition of the track pants.

Finally I add the piece de resistance (that's supposed to be said in a French accent), my tan coloured suede boots. You know, to complete the ensemble. I was now ready for the cat walk ... or should I say dog walk.

Anyhoo, I head out the door with my two dogs in tow and thus begun my wandering thoughts...

As we were exiting our building I quickly noticed the newspaper stand thinger and the story on the front. It was about a solider killing two women at an army base. I quickly wondered if I should dare leave the building in the dark at 6:15am to venture out into the scary world. Then I gently reminded myself that I lived int he slowest moving village within the city and likely the biggest threat would be someone with a cane that couldn't run, well, as fast as a jet like me.

It wasn't far into the walk when I hit an icy patch and used my cat like reflexes to keep me from bottoming out. They worked. I then concluded that dog walking could indeed become an Olympic sport. Flexibility, balance, sheer determination and grace were needed to succeed. clearly I would win a gold medal.

On we went.

I got to the 3 or 4 way stop, you know, depending on how you look at it. Saw a Dodge Caravan come to a stop, then ever so slowly make their turn. It looked like they had seen my dogs and I and were going to be one of those polite law breakers who would let us go ahead but they would still inch out so they wouldn't have to wait the entire time for us to cross. But then they did not let us cross - it was weird.

Then I noticed the person driving the van was a female ninja. 'Weird!!' I thought. A real Ninja mom here in Wrinkleville. 'Cool!!!' However it also may have been a Muslim because there is a Mosque down the street and it was that hour. (Ok so I don't know the actual hour but I've seen some traveling early in the morning before).

As we continued on I decided to avoid some of my chances to exercise my cat like reflexes by walking on the cliffs surrounding them. Ok they weren't really cliffs exactly. But they were a good 4 inches high of hard snow.

The dogs apparently didn't want to use their cat like reflexes either, because they joined me.

At one point we passed a parking lot with a little moped (incidentally I never knew what a moped was when I was younger, it was always a prize on Wheel of Fortune for our Commodore 64 - now I know though) Anyways, I wondered what person in their right mind would be riding around on it in the dead of winter, let alone why they would leave it in the parking lot not chained to anything. I could have like picked up with my bare hand and walked away with it. In fact I am now wondering why the dogs and I didn't hop on for a little joy ride. Oh wait, it's the dead of winter, that's why. (You thought I was going to say it's wrong to steal didn't you? Pffst!)

On we walked. Sweet accomplished some business and as I knelt down to pick it up I briefly thought about the three deer we saw yesterday and worried they may make an appearance. I had visions of the three of them in ninja costumes trying to pounce on me. They had clubs. I intentionally moved a little quicker.

Just as we were almost at the door of our building I noticed that I was seeming to be dragging Sweet. He apparently was not done his business and I realized I'd been dragging him for several paces. It's not like him to be the drag-ee.

I think my mind was wandering a little more this morning than usual...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I think this is the funniest title I've ever read :) The mental image is pretty funny!

I wish I was an artist though, because I'd LOVE to draw a picture of you in your LOVELY dog-walking outfit on the moped with Sweet and Sour hanging on and looking over either shoulder :) Clear the roads!

Love Bex