Monday, February 8, 2010

Meloncholy closet time

Today I began my day as I did yesterday. Once my shower was over I snuck a towel or two into my new found 'closet' and enjoyed the solace. I even did a little prayin' - out loud like. It's been a while since I've done that, it was ... alright.

My potential priest friend said that even a minute with God would be a great start. I decided I would allow myself whatever felt right.

In my closet a few minutes felt right. And good.

I went about my day heading to work for most of the day time, then coming home for a couple of hours between work again.

I disciplined myself to take the dogs out right away, then threw the laundry in the washer in the laundry room without waiting. I had a brief snack then collected my wet clothes to hang in our apartment to dry.

I finally sat down and checked my e-mail, all four of my addresses. Why do I have four addresses? I quickly learned that I had some issue at work to face. A mistake that I made - well sort of.

Not to pass the buck or anything but the mistake really wasn't mine. I had not signed off on giving a med (it wasn't really a med, it was gravol. But in this field everything is a med and requires proper documentation ... unless there's a hitch, which in this case there was). The reason I hadn't signed off was because I was told I didn't have to - I had even specifically asked. Anyways, in the end I should have and I didn't leaving me with 4 med errors. There's more background to this but it's boring and I feel like I have just done enough of boring so I won't bore any longer. Bottom line is: I was bummed.

I then had a few moments of wanting nothing more than to eat something comforting. As I briefly considered it I quickly thought of my new space and how peaceful it was.

It was then that I decided to make a cup of vanilla rooibus tea to take with me to my spot. I took a cloth and cleaned out the tub, got an old mini duvet, my Bible and journal. I threw the duvet in the dry tub, followed by my bath pillow. I then stepped into my make shift sanctuary and got comfortable. And of course ... closed the curtain.

As I sat there I looked around and couldn't help but wonder if I was going mad (crazy like). Who in their right mind sits in their empty bath tub with a blanket, books, and tea to relax? To connect. With God no less.

Well I decided that because it felt right, I did. So ... I did.

I instantly felt the pressures of my world fade away. I took a moment just to breathe. Then a few to just read some of Matthew, which just talks about Jesus' life and stuff. It wasn't magical but it was something. I pondered what I read a little, wondered things. I jumped over to Proverbs for a second and laughed a little at how some were worded. You see I was reading what a friend of mine refers to as the 'Fisher Price' Bible - The Message. It's just a leisurely read, that's what I needed.

I took a few moments to write in my journal. Just a few points about things I wanted to remember in prayer, then a few people I wanted to remember to think about.

At one point while in the tub I began to smell something. Kind of like smelly feet. I thought 'Hmmmm, if those are mine I'm definitely int he right place.' I awkwardly tried to sniff my feet but being in a tiny tub the positioning didn't lend itself to me coming to a concrete conclusion. Instead I touched my sock then quickly touched my fingers to my nose. Smelled ok to me.

I guess the smell was going to remain mystery.

A few moments later, after I'd drank my tea and contemplated life (and where the smell may have been coming from), I heard someone shut their water off from a different apartment. And for some reason it began to rain on my peaceful parade ... literally.

A steady stream of water escaped the tub's faucet and my sock and duvet got well hydrated.

I determined that my parade would be acceptable wet.

Well I spent around 25-30 minutes this afternoon in my 'prayer closet'. Overall it was ... wonderful. I went about the rest of my day feeling at peace.

Anyways, other than the meeting I attended late this afternoon that was my day. (A meeting in which my manager asked the team I work with for a particular house of young ladies we support, 'Has anyone ever felt fear for their safety with so and so'. At which point every one in the room put up their hand. I wonder sometimes what I've gotten myself into...)

I came home and Wally had made supper. At which time I cut into my chicken and yelped 'It's pink int he middle!!!' Only to remember that it was chicken cordon blue (from a box) which, of course, had ham in the middle - which indeed is supposed to be pink.

There's the story of my slightly melancholy day and my time in my closet.

Bath tubs, not just for bubbles anymore.

3 comments:

Sophie said...

That's so strange about the water. But I can totally identify with the strange sanctuary. I've taken to huddling up in my closet that I've lined with the dozens of spare pillows and a puffy sleeping bag (not to mention all my teddy bears. Especially in the last few days where I've been studying for my baptism. Sometimes you just need that quiet space away from life

Zoe said...

Sounds like a great sanctuary - how did you not fall asleep though? It sounded really comfy...

Anonymous said...

I'm proud of you Eva.
-Love Aravis