Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Gramma's in love - Part duex

The other day I called my Gramma to finally tell her that Wally got a job (after my mama had asked me on the two previous phone calls if I had yet I figured it was time).

Not far into the conversation she shared that her and Boyfriend Grampa exchanged Christmas gifts. I'm not sure why they had already. I was three days or so before Christmas, they live like in side by side buildings, they see eachother every day. Maybe it's a near death thing.

She told me that Boyfriend Grampa bought her beautiful earrings. They were shaped like hearts - have gold, half silver. THere was a pause after she gave the details. I was supposed to comment ... alot. I did.

I said 'Maybe next time it'll be jewelery for your hand' (hee hee).

She didn't 'hee hee'.

Instead she got all serious like I offended her, which surprised me because her and Boyfriend Grampa were very obviously smitten with each other. I felt bad that I hit a nerve. and was all ready to apologize. She didn't give me a chance.

'No' she said with a brand new tone, 'That won't be happening.' (Slight pause). 'I'll tell you something though, that I haven't told many. We've talked about that.'

Apparently 'that' is a secret word.

She continued ... 'I looked into things and we found out that if we *cough cough* got married, I would lose a thousand dollars a month of your grandfather's pension. IT just wouldn't be worth it'.

I simply replied 'Oh' - since I was really only trying to lighten the conversation (not deplete it from all joy). We finished our conversation and I hung up the phone.

My 'living self' began to go on a tangent. It was all in a tither. 'How could anyone think money is more important than love. Especially at their age.' Keep in mind I'm not a romantic -ey thinker. I kept on.

'They are old. They found love again. They should forget about the money and just get hitched already. If that's what they want they need to go for it! How ridiculous! They must not be that serious. They can't love eachother THAT much. Silly. How silly.'

Then as I was retelling the conversation to Wally I realized something. Gramma's 75. Boyfriend Grampa's 84. (Apparently some of her friends didn't approve ... because of the 'age difference' ... I thought old was old. I guess I was wrong.) He, Boyfriend Grampa, constantly teases that he's living on borrowed time, that he will go any day now so he's going to enjoy havin' a lady. Gramma is full of life. Never been truly sick in her life (other than when everyone else was sick that she was caring for - even that wasn't for long). Gramma could live for another 20 years easy. Statistically she will likely outlive Boyfriend Grampa. If she married him she'd lose virtually 2/3's of her income. If he died, sorry I mean when he dies, she's basically screwed.

I then was very impressed at their forethought on the matter and realized how serious they were about one another. My mother later said that Boyfriend Grampa didn't want Gramma to be put in a situation that could possibly do her financial harm for the future. My heart softened.

As I mentioned before I'm not a romantic-ey person. The only thing I romanticize is life really. You know nothing big. Not like relationships and stuff.

But when I heard about my 75 year old Gramma not feeling freedom to be able to marry her love, I felt romantic. I felt like I was witnessing a real Romeo and Juliet. Except they were 60 years older. And their families approved. Ok so maybe that's a bad comparison. But you know. Love that couldn't fully Blossom, couldn't fully be realized.

It made me sad a little.

Then Gramma said something that made me less sad. She said very practically 'It's ok. He comes over around 3 in the afternoon everyday and stays for supper. We see eachother everyday.' Gramma seemed completely satisfied with the solution.

I got to thinking. Maybe the government with all of it's pension rules knows what it's doing after all.

Keeping love young. Keeping love on fire. Keeping love waiting for the next time it will be encountered.

Well sometimes it's nice to pretend.


Anonymous said...

Ooooh, this post was sad, especially after the romance of the previous one :( I think that when things get particularly romantic, then real life usually intrudes. I'm glad she's happy though, and that they are making wise choices. (Now what could sound less romantic than "wise choices"?)
PS- Age difference? Hehehe

Zoe said...

WOW! Is this Gramma that I know? I had no idea! Sooo happy that she has found love again! I was initially really sad when I read this, but I guess they really are being wise about the situation, and heck - 3:00 every day? She sees her boyfriend more than I see my husband! Go them! =0)