Thursday, August 20, 2009

Adventure Day 31 – Second Attempt at #19 Buy a piece of lingerie and wear it

Ok so I woke up yesterday and was absolutely determined to complete this task – determined. This item really was not that difficult, or was it?

I came home from my second night shift in a row in a great mood. I had gotten the most sleep I ever had before and I was fairly certain I could go about my day nap free. It doesn’t get much better than that (not that I mind a good nap but days that require them to tolerate myself are a bit irritating – since I am up writing this at 4 am I am left to wonder if tomorrow might be one of them).

Anyways, I came home, caught up on some e-mail and showered up. I was energized and ready to do something fun for the day. It’s at this point I wonder how in the world I decided that lingerie shopping would help with my great day, I guess I felt THAT good. I had also decided that I would treat myself to a mini shopping spree. You see since Wally went back to school I haven’t been able to just spend some money on myself (aside from my current 40 day experiment). I honestly only have three decent tops to wear in the summer (other than my work ones) and I just wanted something new.

You must understand something (if you haven’t figured this out by now), I am not much into fashion. I don’t like tight stuff, uncomfortable clothes or really anything that has a remote sense of style – it just doesn’t seem to fit my personality. I don’t collect purses, shoes or ever buy anything ‘different’. In fact over the past several years I have been only allowing myself to buy clothes in the size I was 4 years ago after I lost 26 pounds, determined that that would help me stay thin – clearly that wasn’t helping, only making me feel worse for my failures. I just started reading a book (recommended by one of my blogger friends) that is slowing transforming the way I think, thus giving me permission to buy clothes that fit and feel good. Yesterday was the day I would indulge a bit and help me feel better about myself, I couldn’t wait!

I chose to begin my day with the lingerie store I had visited a few weeks ago, having my mind set on purchasing something (maybe I’d even try something on - gasp!) I walked confidently into the store, charged right to the back once again and began to look over the potential buys. I quickly grabbed 5 items I would try on, things I’d never considered before, I went into a change room. That’s when it happened …

I was half naked and wrestling with this crazy contraption that I seriously wondered how one could put on without the help of at least two other people, and then how the heck you’d get it off in the ‘heat of the moment’ – I’ll never understand how some articles of clothing came to be. That’s when I began to over hear a conversation between two women outside of my little cubicle. Here’s how it went:
‘I lost a lot of weight in the past few months so I’m looking for a new bra.’
Sales lady: ‘Oh that’s wonderful, let’s measure you up!’
Sound of measuring tape.

It’s at this point in the conversation I had been able to maneuver my body most of the way into one of the ‘articles’ I had brought with me, and I was rather dissatisfied with what I see. Not because I there’s bulging where there shouldn’t be bulging or anything (although that did come to my attention), actually quite the opposite. I looked in the mirror and noticed that the apparatus fit around my body ok but the ‘cups’ were not overflowing, in fact the cups weren’t even partially full, creating an interesting look with my possible new attire.

The conversation outside my door continued…
Sales lady: ‘Hmmmmm … it looks like you are a 40 with a double D cup’
Woman whom I now despise: ‘Do you have anything here for me?’
‘Well various styles fit differently on different people so it’s best to try on several types and see what might work, however generally we only go up to (some size I’ve never had to pay attention to).’
‘Oh’ says the despised with some disappointment (that’s when I felt a pang of discontent for her) ‘I guess I’ll try back hear again later, when I’ve lost more weight’.
Off the lady went.

I’ll admit it was hard for me to feel too bad for the lady since I had just spent 15 pointless minutes getting my hair caught in hooks and breaking out in a sweat only to find out it was all in vain. She would find what she was looking for at another store that may not give her the pride she would have felt had she bought something at this particular place, but she would find it. I however, was a different story.

I’m not sure how these stores make money, is everyone the perfect proportion? I’m sure I’m not the only one out there whose boobs aren’t as voluptuous as her hips. Whose thighs are more endowed than … well anything else on her body. I’m pretty certain I’m not alone. It was with this truth that I decided to accept defeat for another day regarding the lingerie. I am determined that I will buy something somewhere that is ‘out of my element’ in this area of my life, it just may not be as ‘spicy’ as I first wanted to challenge myself with – oh well it’s accepting the challenge that’s the main thing right?

I made a choice after this little adventure, I would not let this reign on my good mood. In fact I was more ready to take on my clothes shopping than ever! Off I went in a pursuit for the perfect jeans.

Now ladies out there, you know that this is mostly a pipe dream of all of us to find the ‘dream jeans’ right? (Especially if we are not wanting to spend more than $25 bucks). Well, I was hopeful so I entered a store across the parking lot with purpose.

After scanning the store for an unmeasured period of time I collected 8 pairs of pants, I was leaving no stone unturned, somewhere in this store there would have to be a pair of jeans that I would LOVE. As I went through my selections and created the ‘definitely not’s’ and the ‘maybe’ piles I learned that my goal was not as simply as I thought. I tried on my final two ‘possibles’ a few times to compare and chose the pair that happened to be on clearance. It wasn’t my ‘perfect pair’ but they were new and comfy and that was enough for me (even though I had mentally set out to only buy pants that I loved). I tried on a few other pairs of pants and found a winner; quickly I decided to go home with those as well. It was then I figured would be a good time to carry on to another store. To the check out line I went.

As I waited for the person in front of me to finish my eye got caught on something … more jeans. Hmmmm … I wondered. Is it possible that the perfect pair is still out there? Maybe. Should I try one more time and see? Yes, I should. Over I went, once again, to examine the options. This time I just grabbed one more pair to try. They were a style I never would be drawn to at all but in the back of my mind remembered was recommended for people with my body type. I thought ‘Yeah, but I never agree with fashion people – they’re way too out there for me. What the heck, it doesn’t hurt to try.’ I quickly got into a change room to see what the outcome would be.

Before my very eyes were my perfect jeans. (I’m certain I heard choirs of angels singing – for real, they were there!). I changed back into my clothes and practically ran up to the counter to pay, like the jeans were going to disappear if I didn’t pay for them instantly. I was so rejuvenated that I marched across the parking lot and walked into a bunch of stores I never usually go into. That’s when it continued … a new openness for style. I sought out only clothes I wouldn’t normally buy. Buy the end of my 4 hour excursion I ended up with a pair of perfect jeans, a pair of great pants, Capri pants, a casual dress, two tops that were waaaaay not me, and one of those scarves the ladies are wearing now a days as accessories – all for $125!! I thought that was pretty good. Not only that, I even walked into not one but two shoe stores and didn’t leave the second I saw shoes for more than twenty dollars (I even almost bought a red pair to match my new purse from a former adventure day, but they were horribly uncomfortable).

When Wally got home I modeled some of my finds, most of which he loved (all except for one sweater that made him ask what happened to the sleeves – it was the style, he wasn’t entirely convinced).

Adventure Day 31 was amazing for me. It was a day that was completely impromptu and full of application. Application of what I’ve been learning through some of my little self challenges. I realized it felt good to experiment with my appearance and see what all was out there for me to choose from rather than go to what I was used to. I can’t believe how much little things can change how you practically live your life. This lesson keeps tracking me down somehow, but I’m glad, because I’m starting to really have fun with it.

I wonder what’s next?


Wally said...

And I'm still entirely convinced. Probably not even remotely convinced.

Zoe said...

Yay, this sounded like soo much fun!