Sunday, July 19, 2009

Starting an Adventure!

As I write this it is very late (by my standards at least). My tummy is full of a Brownie Ice Cap Supreme and a sour cream glazed donut from my good friend Tim Horton’s. I felt it necessary as in a couple of hours I am beginning a very exciting journey. A journey I couldn’t truly try until now. I have been practicing quite a bit here and there since we moved into the city, but now that I have had some time to try a few things I am ready to go all the way.

I made a decision this morning that I was going to use this blog to my benefit for this experiment - as a sort of accountability partner and record keeper. A passion has grown within me in the past several years; a passion to live and take control of things (as much as I can), to experience people and places, and all sorts of things that I’ve been raised to fear. I no longer want to let those fears determine what perspective I am allowed to look through. I want to experience lots so that I can understand lots. By guarding my actions and my surroundings I have missed out on people and experiences that could ultimately change my character and my life. I want to begin tomorrow to step out of my egg shell and take on the world.

Ok so I have to admit this sounds waaaaay more dramatic than it really may be. In fact, to most people what I am doing will sound like the kindergarten class of life. But I am deciding not to be ashamed. Instead I’m going to take baby steps and challenge myself in things I have avoided and would continue to avoid in life had it not been for my undying desire to learn, grow and connect with those around me. I figure if I can take on the ‘small stuff’ now and be changed by it, then later on I can tackle the ‘big stuff’ and continue to change and grow.

Here are a few things I have had to use as ‘practicing’ in living life. These things are what I wouldn’t have done had I not chosen to get over my fears.

• Over a year ago I started a gym – would’ve never done it before, I would’ve worried about what people thought about me spending my money on that sort of thing. (I would’ve been self-conscious as well).
• I recently went to a movie all by myself for the first time (in a sketchy theatre I’d never been to no less – I was also the only person in the theatre).
• Last week I drove downtown to the central library (we have several) at night, by myself, on a whim. I had to park underground, had no real idea where I was going or what I was doing. In fact it took me ten minutes to figure out how to actually get into the library (it is inside of a mall and is 2 stories – I couldn’t seem to find any doors yet could see all of the people inside reading their books – torture!!)
• Several months ago I began attending a home church. I didn’t know a soul.

Like I said before, to many people these things are just a part of the lives they live, no big deal. But for me, growing up in a tiny town of 2000, with my rural roots (you seriously have to do a family history on the people you date because you never know if you could in fact be related), all these things were a big deal. I figure a great way for me to expand my horizons is to write down some of my goals, or hopes, of the things in life I want to experience. Some of them are small things and some are much bigger. Some will certainly seem mundane and silly; the point isn’t to worry about how applicable they are to the grand scheme necessarily, but to let the little moments get noticed too. I am so very excited for this adventure. I cannot wait to share what it is and what I am doing. But if you are curious you will have to join me tomorrow to find out what it is that I am up to.

I do hope you will come along for the ride!


Zoe said...

Sorry, still catching up on a few of these..

LOL - I love how you went to a movie by yourself (something I've never done) and really Were BY YOURSELF in the theatre!

These are not baby steps by any means... you rock!

Midge said...

A couple ideas for another list...
-volunteer for a day or a weekend at a shelter or soup kitchen. You live in a fairly big city now - finding one shouldn't be too hard.
-Start planning a trip you've always wanted to take, but been to afraid to try. Obviously you may not be able to complete it during your actual 40 days, but putting some ideas down and thinking about it could get the gears going.
-Visit a seniors home out of the blue and talk to someone who doesn't get a lot of visitors.
-Take one day to drive with no destination in mind; see where you end up =)
-Pick something you've never wanted to do because you were too scared; and then just do it. For me, it's roller coasters - they terrify me! One day, I HAVE to just do it; go on a roller coaster ride 5 times if I have to , until I'm not scared anymore!

I've done a couple of these things before and been richly rewarded. Maybe you will be too.
PS. Loved the laundry room adventure from today!