Monday, May 17, 2010

Updates on #3 & #6

3. Eat with only chopsticks for one month (like the month of May)

Ok so I have been using chopsticks now for 17 days. I will say that I've forgotten to take them out with me (do to a lack of dish washing) maybe 3 times. Of course there are some meals you would not need chopsticks for. Example: a sandwich or sub, soup, and I have opted out of using them for yogurt (as I do have to work and live and stuff). I have decided to use them for my cottage cheese and have had no issues with this.

Overall I have actually loved this challenge. I still have meals when I just don't seem to have the knack and I get frustrated and want to spear them through the food or skip eating all together (or the obvious option - break them into bitty pieces). But for the most part I love them. I definitely slow down while eating (especially in the case of eating peas or brown rice), but there's something about using them that makes the food taste better. I don't know what it is but I like it.

I do still need to attack the noodles though, as they aren't really in our diet right now. I saw a lady eating some Thai noodle dish at the mall the other day and I was embarrassed for her in regards to her chopstick noodle eating skills. She looked like a barbarian. No judgment though.

I will press on and continue to perfect the art of eating with these long thin objects. I told Wally tonight that I thought that I would continue to use them even after my month is up. I guess we'll see. I think at the end of my forty days I should go out for Thai and get something with noodles just for fun.

Well ... maybe I'll order in.

6. 40 days (which I hope to turn into a lifetime) of super clean eating.

Yeah, so I haven't been perfect at the super clean eating thing but overall have done well. I've joked that flavoured rice cakes and chocolate protein shakes have become my binge foods. Never thought that would happen.

I have actually only really 'fallen off the wagon' once. It was last week during my serious case of the 'sads' and I actually went and bought a dozen bakery cookies at the grocery store and brought them home with me to melt my sorrows.

It was the first time in probably two and a half months, as Wally and I have been eating really well since we started training. That in itself is AMAZING for me. I used to binge (and I do mean binge, not merely enjoy) every single day on something sweet.

Anyways, I brought my cookies home and nestled into the couch before having to go back to work. I looked at them. Smelled them. Touched them. Then finally ate them. 1. 2. 3. 4. Then I decided that I was making a mistake - a huge mistake. I quickly crumbled the other 8 cookies into the garbage to be touched by all the grossities that lived there. (Yes, I had to do this because if I'd left them in the package I would have gone back and fished them off later and enjoyed every one. I am that sick).

For once rather than feeling guilty I felt proud of myself. Because a few months ago I would've told the little voice in my head to shut up (or other things) and I would've forged on with the gorging. It would not have been a big deal for me to have eaten 8 or 10, heck maybe even all twelve in one sitting - or at least during the evening.

Of course when I confessed to Dee the next day he was not so excited about my 'overcoming' of anything. He was mad. We started our time together with 100 jump squats on a very low lying bench, with weights. Which indeed took forever.

He followed it up by saying 'Now we'll start your workout' (rather sternly might I add).

That hour was the quietest I've ever been in a very long time, as obviously the silent treatment was in order for Dee. I refused to speak to him or let him 'analyze' me as he asked why I ate the cookies and if they helped me feel better. He continued to go on about him caring about my progress and blah, blah, blah. However I was a mess inside (as I was plagued with the 'sads'). I refused to talk to him and be at risk of letting the dam break. I knew that if I started to talk I'd burst into weeping tears and I didn't want to give him the satisfaction (however I so wanted to cry and just let it out).

I have since texted him and all is fine, however I know a serious talk is in order for us come Wednesday when I see him. I know he does care and it's only fair that I do my part to do my best. Sometimes I hate that.

So, though perfection is yet to find me I will keep trying to do my best. I continue to examine and re-examine what my long term goals are in this area of my life. But I'll have more on that later.

I still have lots more to update on but I think I will have to call it a night.

Hopefully more tomorrow!

1 comment:

Shell Bell said...

Perfection is a pipe dream, but that doesn't stop us from continually trying to achieve it, does it?

You have done so well! I truly hope you are proud of yourself!