Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Bad case of the 'Sads'

I'm tired. Exhaustified.

I feel like I have no reason to be but I am. Wally would laugh at that and say I was being ridiculous and that I have every right to say that I am but I'm not sure. I see everyone at work and they seem so fine. I feel like I'm lagging around like a puppy dog missing two legs.

I want to write about my adventure but ... I'm too tired.

I can and will tell you that I have had a serious case of the 'sads'. Meaning I've been very sad the past couple of days.

Today I wondered if I should just quit everything. Quit my health goal (which I have yet to share). Quit working (um ... yeah .... cause I'd do so great as a depressed bum). Quit thinking about getting my degree (more on that later). Quit trying to live differently (it's seems like such a challenge and sometimes I wonder if it's pointless). I've also thought of quitting my 40 day adventure #2 (*sigh*).

Wally has asked me to slow down at times as I always seem to have some 'great idea' on the horizon that I need to try. To be honest this whole way of living is absolutely exhausting to me (yes I know I've said that too many times already, but it's true).

I've had another good friend that I respect tell me I just need some time to slow down and think. To take time to be alone, meditate, pray, be with God. I think he's right, but I don't know how anymore. Slowing down isn't taught in school. I don't think it would matter if it was because keeping up seems to be the general theme of life, at least in North America.

Then I look ahead to the next month in a job where I pretty much live on the faith of others needing my help whenever, and I wonder if I'll get enough work. I know I don't need to worry about this. I learned this forever ago in life. But I think about it. I'm human.

Oh I'm rambling. Sorry. My thoughts are all jumbled up right now.

Do any of you get a case of the 'sads'? Do you ever want to give up?

I know deep down I can't. I won't. I just need to refocus. But sometimes the 'sads' are like a bad cold - very difficult to get rid of.

I have been thinking about finally throwing myself a 30th birthday party. I thought I'd call it my 'Thirty and still Flirty' Party. Admission would be a fun thong in my size (or hey a skanky outfit would do) and in return I would feed party goers some expensive Marble Slab ice cream cake (remember that's on my list).

Still thinking about this. I'm usually not the type to care if 1 person out of the 30 invited came. But after my post big party blues I don't know if I'm up for any more post party let downs.

We'll see. I anticipate fighting off the 'sads' within the next 24 hours. I find my mind the hardest thing in the world to fight against. But. I will. And I am determined to win.

Even if I lose a few fights in the process.


Anonymous said...


I completely understand. I often feel drained, tired out and like I want to quit. My biggest thing is wanting to give up something, but feeling that each part of my life is so important, I don't know which one I can give up... It's nice to be needed I guess, but I'm so tired!

Do I have any advice our ways to help? I'm not sure. I usually have a good cry, my husband comforts me and tells me that I CAN do it all, and we both go back to working our hardest. I do think your friend is right too. Often my attitude is wrong when I lose sight of the fact that what I'm doing is for the Lord, and He is the only one who can give me the strength to keep going. Oh, and taking advantage of relaxing times is huge for me too:)

So encouragement? If possible, take a day off, relax and rejuvenate, and get back in the saddle. I know there are many (me for instance) who have been blessed by your friendship and I value YOU. You're awesome!

Love Bex

Stacy said...

We all get the sads sometimes. There seems to be a culture of the sads at work these days. In respect for your honesty I would like to let you know that I left work in tears yesterday. I had a terrible time getting out of bed this morning and almost didn't show up for our luncheon. It happens to all of us. The weather really doesn't help either.

If you ever need to talk about it please don't hesitate to call or email. We need to help each other just as much as the people we work with.

S. said...

I think it's pretty common to have the blues now and then, even the most positive people I know have "down" days.
Maybe you could kind of incorporate some of this down time you are pondering with a new perspective... travel somewhere in central or south america, where they seriously have a different outlook on life.

trainspotter said...

Do I ever get a case of 'the sads'?'s more like, do I ever get a case of 'the happys' :)

If you have the option to slow down, absolutely do it! If you can't slow down then at the very least avoid adding to what you already have (take it from someone who believes 'burnout' is just something one does for fun on the weekends). If your lifestyle is beating the life out of you, maybe it's time for a makeover...or a vacation.

I actually had a fortune cookie today say "you will have happiness this week"(seriously)...I wish the police officer I "chatted" with a couple of hours ago had consulted with my cookie :) Life's funny right?!

Zoe said...

DO IT!! The party, that is! I think it sounds so totally fun and I think people would love it (and you'd get some fun underwear out of the deal!) Super idea!

DO what I told you on the phone... do it. =)

tessa said...

Despite the fact I am not using my real name some of you have probably figured out who I am. As for a case of the sads - I have cried more in the last 6 weeks than ever before and more in the last two days than I expected. Life is tough, I wish I had words of wisdom for you but I don't. Today I decided to focus on one thing at a time and try not to look too far ahead.
I threw my own 30th birthday party, many years ago, it was so much fun. I would come to yours if not just for the friendship the marble slab cake would be incentive.
Hang in there, maybe we all need to figure out how to be happy together since the workplace seems to be "sad" these days