Sunday, May 30, 2010

I'm ba-ack

Ahhhhhhhh... feels so good.

You know what's frustrating sometimes though? The fact that I have days that give me excellent blog material but I never get the chance to sit down and write about them. That frustrates me.

But I'm here today with about 4 posts in my head and currently have no clue as to which one might come out first.

Hmmmmm... let's see.

Maybe I'll start off with some random happiness.

I committed myself to wearing a sleeveless top (or tank top) for the past three days in a row. For those of you who don't know me well, this is a big deal. I'm a rather modest dresser. I used to think it was because I was spiritual, now it's more because of low confidence. Well, I am now at least one shade darker than my regular pasty white skin colour and a tad more confident - very impressive.

I went out and bought an expensive bra yesterday. I love it and now wonder if I'll ever be able to cheap out again. (Seriously, it makes the fact that I lost 4 inches around my chest not so depressing.)

I also purchased myself some new sandals yesterday. I spent $69.99 plus tax on them. Never in my life, EVER, have I done such a thing. They have been worth every red cent. They are flip floppy and comfortable. The first pair I've never had to 'break in'!!! (NO BLISTERS!!!!) Amazing.

Yesterday an issue arose putting me in the place where I had to decide between my hours off and the person I was supporting's well being. I chose their well being instantly and was all mama bear about it. I've never felt those instincts kick in before like that (and some may say it's unprofessional for them to come out at work), but they were there. I'm no hero and I know the answer isn't always being protective but it was needed yesterday and I'm glad I did it. My 6 hours turned into 10 1/2 and I honestly didn't mind one of them. I could be a mom someday. I could. But, if I am, I better never have access to a gun because I'm afraid that if anyone tried to hurt my kid I'd shoot them.

Wally and I shared another amazing Sunday afternoon together just eatin' and chattin'. We had a great talk and really enjoyed each other. Today I liked him a lot and loved him too.

Have I mentioned that I'm retreating soon? I think I have, right? During my 10 days off I'm taking a couple of nights and actually taking off. I don't know where yet, but I am. I don't remember the last time I was alone. I told my mama tonight that I was going away or a couple of days during my little vacay. She asked 'With who?' I said 'Me'. She was ok with that, and so was I.

I miss you Bex, we need to hang out soon.

My birthday party is Friday - YAY!! I hope the 3 people that said they were coming do, but even if they don't I'm planning lots of fun! I think we'll have a good time :)

I am really thankful for Dee and his acceptance of my sense of humour. A lot.

I need to get (I mean I want to get) a pedicure so bad, but I keep putting it off.

For the first time in the 2 years since we moved I miss having our house. I'll get over it. We've stopped looking at houses as Wally and I don't agree on what our financial state should be when we buy. He's careful and responsible, I'm carefree and irresponsible. Someday we'll even it out. Hopefully before we become the appropriate age to live in Wrinkleville.

I feel so good in this moment I feel a little guilty. Damn judgment.

Friday I was wandering through the mall and bought a bunch of cards because I like sending people cards for no reason. In fact I think that's the best reason to actually buy an over priced piece of paper - I rarely do it for birthdays or appropriate occasions, but I will gladly do it for non occasions. Sometimes I'll buy a get well card for someone who's fine or a birthday card because I like it and just erase the 'get well' or 'happy birthday'. Why do we always need to follow the rules?

Tomorrow the beginning of my next 12 week challenge (for myself) begins, I am unusually excited about this. I feel like I have learned so much about myself, my health, and my thinking in the past three months that I can't wait to see what happens in the next three. I actually believe in myself and know that I will achieve all that I want and more. I've never felt that way before, it's incredible.

Today I talked on the phone with my mama for 17 minutes and 34 seconds (I think that's like a record). We had a nice little chat, and even made a date during my down time. At the end I said: 'I love you!' and she said 'I love you too'. That's a big deal. Now I want to cry. I am so grateful. Tell someone you normally wouldn't tell that you love them (well make sure it's not like the mail man - unless of course you have that kind of a thing with your mail man. In which case I'd consider getting some counseling ...)

I really love having had the chance to get to know some of you all out in reader land lately. Whether it was through an e-mail, a coffee visit, a party, or whatever. It's been such a gift to me - Thank you again for accepting my honesty.

I know these thoughts were all over the land, but sometimes random scenery is good.

This scenery was on my heart, now I hope it's on yours.


Zoe said...

Loved your random thankfulness... it's good for the soul. =)

Anonymous said...

I miss you too Eva, I was just looking at my May pictures and thinking that our last outing together seems like months ago, not weeks!

I'm excited about the tank tops! Good for you.

BTW, I don't know if I commented before, but I'm so proud of you for your weight-loss, muscle gain! And for setting a goal. That must have been hard. I find it hard to set one, because I don't want to feel like a failure if I don't make it... Silly I know.

I'm excited about the bra and sandals too! I've recently discovered why good quality things are more expensive! It makes such a difference in fit / comfort when you pay a little more.

I`m still reading, I`ve just been a little busy for the commenting, but I`ve been thinking about you a lot and composing an email in my head... I might actually write it sometime!

Love Bex