Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Adventure Day 40 Part 2 - #19 – Buy a piece of lingerie and wear it

Once I got home from my bus outing, around 9 am, I crashed on our spare room bed where I LOVE to catch extra sleep (or just missed sleep). Unfortunately by body was not co-operating and I just laid there with my eyes closed for a good hour and a half. When I finally realized that a good nap was not in my future, I decided to head out and tackle #19 on my list - yet again.


Third time is supposed to be a charm but I’m sure there is fine print that negates the saying when sleep deprivation is involved. I charged in the store trying to place my mind over the matter at hand. I decided that perhaps I’d go at this scant outfit shopping from another angle (wondering if perhaps I should’ve stuck around my bus stop down town a few more hours until the skanky ladies underwear store across the street from it opened up – neon and leather would definitely make my ‘never would wear’ list). I decided to look at bras and such (you know the ones you’d never wear under your clothes).

I scanned the contents of the stored and grabbed about 5 different ones. I went into the change room and was not too shocked to find out that none of them fit. I was borderline tears as I thought about perhaps putting them away and never to return, when a sales lady politely asked how it went.
“Not so good, none of them fit.” I replied leaving things open for discussion, something I don’t normally do – especially in a bra store.
“Would you like me to measure you?” she asked.
It’s at this point I would usually say “No thanks” and move on to an underwear-less store. But I had a stick-to-it-ness in me today that shocked even myself.
So I responded with a “Sure” and succumbed to some stranger putting a tape measure around my boobs – oh the fun of it all. She was a very nice, gentle spirited young woman who seemed to understand my plight, which made the experience all the better.

When she was all done she said you are a C36 or a D34. It’s at that point I almost died laughing. I’d never bought a bra beyond an A or B (usually the latter); maybe that’s why they never felt right. I had renewed hope as I went back out in to the store to find my new size. I grabbed another 5 or 6 bras and was back into the change room to try them on, thinking that things would be a whole different story. My hopes were dashed.

One of the bras I couldn’t even do up. When I reappeared out of my change room once again carrying a defeated look on my face the sales lady said that I could look for different sizes and that her measurement wasn’t a for sure thing. Even though I would rather have shot myself right then, I went back out and looked for 5 more bras to try on. Surely SOME thing, SOME where would fit. My result didn’t change and I took that as a sign. I briefly contemplated leaving the store to cry in the car but promised myself that I would not leave until I had something I’d never worn before (you know what I mean). So I marched up to a silk fuchsia cami with black trim and cute little pantaloons to match (that, by the way, said ‘Gorgeous’ on the butt), I got what I guessed would fit and went straight into the line the pay. I’d had enough.

After trying on 16 bras that day and countless other outfits in my two previous visits I finally had my buy. It wasn’t the stretch I was hoping for (there are absolutely no puns intended anywhere in that phrase), but it was different and fun. I left the store relieved, a little disappointed and ready for my 40 days to be done – I was exhausted! I’m quite positive that there were tears again while driving home but am not sure if they were as much to do with things not fitting as it was my incredible fatigue. Either way I was glad to have accomplished all that I had.

**Side story: At one point while I was in the store this time there was a man, I’m guessing in his late twenties/early thirties, that was with a friend of his wife/girlfriend’s, buying his lady something ‘special’ to wear. I almost lunged at his neck when I sawing him leaning on the counter with his cell phone in his hand talking to his presumed love. I heard him say (wearing a sleezy grin on his mug) “We picked something out for you to wear…” pause “Yeah I think it’ll be ok. I like it.” (Grin continues) “Well it’s not really for you, it’s more for me. I’m the one that’s going to be enjoying it…” I had made up my mind in that moment that men were scum – ok I don’t think they all are. But this one certainly was and it was due to people like him I felt so horrible about myself that day. Ok I’m being irrational, but admittedly I wanted to do away with him …. And whoever invented lingerie. **


Anonymous said...

I loooved your post- I'm sorry it was so frustrating for you though. -But Eva, I have felt that way, going into La Senza, & thinking "Ugh, I'm the biggest person on the planet, & I really just hate this entire thing!!!"
& there have definitely been moments where I've felt like bawling...
Oh, & cuz, you had it right the first time- men ARE scum- you weren't over-reacting. I think that guy you were talking about sounded like an absolute pig. THAT'S why everybody thinks sex is only for men to enjoy- because apparently women have to prance around & put on a show in lingerie... Don't get me started...
This post probably wasn't very enjoyable to write, but Eva, I REALLY appreciate your honesty.
-Love Aravis

Anonymous said...

The title of your post was "Adventure Day 40 Part 2 - #19 – Buy a piece of lingerie and wear it". Since you said you'd accomplished this item, I'm guessing you did wear it? I think it sounds cute! Good for you for the stick-attedness!
And although I'm sad you had such a hard time, it is nice to know that I'm not the only one who feels depressed and discouraged after a shopping trip! I look around the store at all the clothes and think "I must be the only one who can't find something that fits!" Disheartening. Nice to know I'mk not alone!

Jenzyfrenzy said...

This is one adventure I wish I could have had with you. I've often argued that lingerie stores suffer from size discrimination (as a E-34! bra and lingerie shopping is always an adventure). I love how open and honest you are about the feelings so many of us feel after yet another unsuccessful shop.
After a successful shop tho! the confidence that an incredibly silly pair of underwear can give in a job interview! the glorious upsides to inglorious unmentionables.

Zoe said...

Other than the part where he said, "Yeah I think it’ll be ok. I like it" (Possibly meaning "I don't really care if you don't like it... it isn't comfortable, etc) I have to say, I don't think that guy was scum at all! Admit it, All guys like lingerie, and yes, it really Is more of a present for him than us, because we probably don't think we're nearly as hot in it as he does, but any woman I know likes to know that her husband thinks she's hot! What's wrong with that? It doesn't mean that they don't think we're hot when we're Not wearing it, it's just nice to "spice it up" once in a while. =) That's my two cents.

Eva said...


This guy was not being a gentleman at all about it and I totally see where you are coming from. We are lucky gals to have considerate, loving men and I'm sure to his gal this guy was ok. I just hate being the girl in the store crying over an experience that I was having, having to hear THAT male perspective at THAT time.

You are dead on about men enjoying lingerie and it being a gift to them. The part I think women struggle with is how incredibly intimate it is when often what we want is the dishes done once in a while as a trade off. I find the lingerie thing forces us to surpass our insecurities at times that are sooooo difficult - if you are in a loving marriage than you really shouldn't worry (nor do you need to) but if you aren't (or if you just need to work on your self image) it can be a tall order to ask you to stand around in barely anything.
I have a great guy in Wally but have to say sometimes I find it border line humiliating to stand there nearly naked just to be watched or looked at - even if it's in a loving way.

However Zoe, if you were more replying to the first comment I'm going to assume you already knew my point of view and were just adding your thoughts - sorry for the extended bridge :)