Thursday, July 9, 2009

The similarities and differences between Eva and Wally

Ok so there have been times in the past 8 years of marriage when both Wally and I have wondered how we could be so wonderfully matched together – only by God’s design.

And then there have been just as many times through the years we have wondered who’s hair-brained idea it was for us to get together?! In so many ways we are alike, for example: our faith, morals, introvertedness, desire to do our best in life, being content with the small things in life.

Yet there are so many other ways we are completely different. Here are just a few:

• I NEVER close Tupperware containers properly – this drives Wally crazy!
• I love to take any possible chance to hang out with pretty much anyone - Wally thinks long and hard before committing to any social gathering and his preference would be home (most of the time).
• When we diet Wally loses 13 pounds the first week - I gain 2.
• I have a HUGE desire to travel and would love to backpack across Europe - Wally’s preference would be a Sheraton
• I won’t hesitate to wear clothes off of my laundry pile with a boat load of wrinkles (I’d just throw a hoodie over top) – Wally will not wear a shirt that looks like it got left behind from the wrinkle patrol
• I think you should wear your jeans at least 3 or 4 times before washing them (I’m a bit frugal) – Wally wears a pair twice and to the wash they go
• Wally thinks going to the movies is a social activity – I think it’s one of the most anti-social activities you could do
• Wally hates country music – until recently it was really the only music I listened to
• I’ll eat food past the expiration date if it looks ok – Wally is much more particular
• If Wally does the dishes you can be sure they are clean – if I do them you can be sure you’ll get leftovers from the last meal
• Wally thinks before he talks – I’m not nearly as skilled at this
• I think next year we should move to a foreign country and try a new culture – Wally is looking for a job here 

O.k. so these are just a few examples of how we are different. A few of Wally’s school friends have commented on our differences but have said at the same time how much we are also so much alike and right for each other. That doesn’t always come naturally…

Recently I shared with Wally my longest and deepest desire to take a few weeks (ok initially I asked for a few months) to go and serve abroad, perhaps with little brown orphans in an under privileged country some where (I have a heart for orphans). This has been a loooooong time dream for me that I gave up on when we married (I figured there would be our own children to take care of soon enough). For the longest time Wally said he couldn’t let me go. He didn’t want to risk me getting hurt or killed or something else terrible happening while he wasn’t around to be there for me. I tried to convince him that I’d be ok but he wouldn’t by it. So I let it go a little and just tried to remind him that this was my heart’s desire and hope. It took a few months, but one night when we were joking around I had gotten out of him his blessing for me to go for not one day longer than 3 weeks. I was ecstatic! I am.

You see that’s what helps our marriage work: realizing the other person’s hopes and calling. It’s not always easy to give up our wants but if you want to continue to grow in that relationship sometimes you have to let go a little, right? I didn’t want to let go of my dream and Wally didn’t want to let go of his desire to hold onto me. It would be easy to bolt in the other direction and say ‘I’m going to do it anyway’ (I’ve wanted to do that a million times), but how would that bring us closer to one another? I don’t think it would.

As much work as it seems to be when you are so different I am going to count myself lucky to have someone that compliments me, challenges me and loves me the way my Wally does. (Even if we frustrate each other to no end!)


Wally said...

I think you painted me a tiny bit more uptight than I actually am.

Eva said...

um no dear I didn't ....

Your Friend Aaron said...


Zoe said...

I don't agree with the dishes comment... I think you're a great dish washer, Eva!

Eva said...

This issue will need to be addressed in another post...