Buying plane tickets and other adventures ...

So I alluded to this in my last post and now I will tell you for sure....

Wally and I have booked our tickets to Thailand!!!!

We are so excited - both of us.

I'm not sure how it happened or even why on that particular day (Sunday past) but after some discussion on the possibility of taking a couple of days to just roam around Bangkok before heading home we both felt at peace with the decision to go ahead and purchase our tickets.

It was actually kind of an eventful day Sunday.

We spent the early part of it painting our 'someday' child's room. Of course in great Wally and Eva fashion we ran out of paint. We always run out of paint. I guess it's our thing. Don't ever look too close in our closets.

Between coats I cut Wally's hair. When we finished I sat to do some knitting (I'm a very early beginner), when I realized there was a scandal beneath the surface of the neatly wound yarn that I was seeing. As I pulled for more, resistance met me and thus began several hours of detangling.

I honestly never thought I'd get it done but by 8:30pm I did and I was excited!

I'm not sure what solving a yarn dilemma has to do with the need to purchase plane tickets but in doing so I decided to reward myself by looking into our trip.

After a couple of e-mails exchanged with Glo on where to get the best deals I had found one and got the go ahead from her to buy.

In my excitement over finding a deal I had abandoned 2 squares of my 70% dark chocolate on the couch (Can I just emphasize how uncharacteristic this was of me - apparently resolving yarn conflict can be that life altering!).

I hadn't thought twice about leaving the chocolate or the fact that our dogs were all about because, first of all, I would never normally leave chocolate, and second of all they never ever care about eating people food really.

Well, it appeared that evening I should've thought twice.

After sharing with Wally that I'd found our tickets, who was distracted watching Anne Hathaway do a song and dance number, he asked me 'Did you eat your chocolate?'

I answered 'No, did you?'

'No' he said.

It was then we both looked down at our youngest fur child and saw him smacking his lips in shear delight.

We quickly shook out the old comforter he was standing on to see if by chance he had only licked the lonely snack left behind. No dice.

Sour had indeed ingested 20 grams of dark chocolate.

I went about my business with the tickets 'So are we ready to buy?'

While Wally dashed to the computer to google 'What to do when your dog eats chocolate' (how did we solve life's problems before google?).

Knowing that the tickets would have to wait until Wally's over reaction was done I resumed with my knitting as if nothing had happened, trying to be patient until I could click 'confirm' on our ticket order.

Wally began spouting off information left and right. Smoke began to billow out of his ears. More so when I said I wasn't going to take Sour into the emergency vet for a couple of hundred dollars when I was perfectly capable of sticking my finger down his throat to induce vomiting.

Wally kept searching. I kept knitting.

'Are you freakin' crazy? He could die!'

'Oh he'll be fine stop over reacting. If it would make you feel better I'll call the vet and ask, I'm sure it's just an old wives' tale'.

Wally threw the phone to me (actually I think it was at me but perhaps he had reason).

I called the vet and sure enough the amount of dark chocolate Sour had consumed was toxic enough to possibly induce seizures, vomiting, diarrhea and even maybe death.

'Ok so you were right, let's go' I declared with an ever so tiny white flag hidden in my voice - very tiny.

All four of us (we couldn't leave Sweet behind), piled into our car at 9:40pm and headed off to emerge with Sour still enjoying the taste of chocolate on his furry little lips.

By 10:30pm we were home none worse for the wear (well depending who you asked, or who's wallet you asked), Sour sporting an ever so blackened beard from the charcoal they put into him.

'So, can we buy the tickets?' I asked.

There was humming and hawing but there must have been some sort of 'ok' nod because before I knew it 'confirm' had be clicked and we were in the midst of deciding on insurance or not.

It was well past our 9:30 pm usual bedtime (yes we're 80 yr olds) when we finally crawled into bed.

Actually strike that, I think I Tigger hopped into bed asking 'how can anyone expect me to sleep at a time like this?! I'm so excited!'

Wally dug his head into a pillow, held my hand down and said what he usually does when I'm over excited about something before bed 'Please just try, you'll sleep.' I'm pretty sure he wished I came with a snooze button.

I actually did eventually fall asleep before being awakened by Sour's tick, tick, tick toenails at 2am. He had to run, because he was about to have the runs (I hate that term, my mother uses it all the time and I hate it).

I jolted awake and ran with him down the hall so he could get out the door. He made it!

Once I let him in he would NOT go back to bed right away. He tried to dart into our living room to do something on our newly purchased extra shaggy area rug. Can I say? There must be innate protective senses when a pet owner makes such an investment and the threat of doggie diarrhea looms in the air. In short, Sour did not get anywhere near the shag rug.

Next he insisted on going to the basement. I let him and followed. It was 40 minutes before he allowed me to corral him up the stairs to return to bed. He was fine for the rest of the night.

I cursed the 6 am alarm.



Wally and I bought our tickets!!! We're going to Thailand!!!

In less than 3 weeks .... oh my goodness.

We are both so excited.

Dreamin'

Can I tell you a secret?

I've been blogging on my other blog for the past couple of weeks. If you don't remember, it's the one surrounding my body.

I didn't want to say anything because I didn't' want my writing to become dishonest or staged. I feel in a rhythm so I'm no longer afraid of this. (If you're interested, you'll find it under my profile).

I have so much to share right now....so much.

But today has been focused on many, many things. Things I will soon share. Great things.

For now though I will take a minute to answer a reader's question from my last post asking if I would do the dress and the aisle again, if I had a choice looking back.

I love that question. I love the honesty in it.

It's a difficult one to answer in a way, but I will try.

Up until a few weeks ago I would have probably said this: yes I'd get married but maybe I'd wait. Maybe I'd try to live on my own first, travel a lot more, go to school and date around here and there. Hmmm ... even thinking about that makes me smile a little. The dreamyness of it all, the freedom, the memories I imagine having that are water coloured and smudged around the edges.

Somehow in my memories I have a different body shape. One that looks fabulous in faded jeans with a chunky brown leather belt. One that already has the flexability and strength I am striving for right now (both physically and in my personality).

In those memories I've had the perfect loft apartment with hardwood floors a cushy couch and light white curtains over tall bright windows. I feel confident in all of the decisions I have made and ready for when the right man comes along.

It's now I give myself a shake and realize I'm living in a fantasy world. That though waiting to get married could have offered me a different life, it would not necessarily have been a better life than I have now. Who really knows?

I'm not sure if the reader was asking if I would do over the wedding or the marriage, but I can answer both.

As for the marriage. It's only been in the past few weeks, maybe even days that I can say with complete honesty that I am glad and thankful for my marriage, even in it's early arrival into my life. This is the first time I can say that I dont' regret marrying young, or not living on my own, or dating other people, or going to school.

It's taken all of the nearly ten years of marriage for me to come to this place. Probably because it's taken that long for Wally and I to become what I always hoped to be. That being said we still have a long, long way to go. And I know that's not guaranteed.

I may write more about this topic later.

As for the wedding....

I would definitely have a wedding. I believe in what it stands for, in what the meaning is. It has religious ties that I also am grounded in.

I'm not sure if I care much for the lawful end of marriage. Meaning, to me marriage is committing to one person for the rest of your life, under the grounds that you are both pursuing to respect and encourage growth in one another.

In our culture though, people are hardly capable of standing by their word and thus probably at some point needed a lawful binding thus turning many marriages into mere contracts. I don't know many people that could stick out a relationship, committed to another person until death without a piece of paper.

I will fully admit, I'm one of those people. The legal contract has saved me from running on more than one occasion. Yet ultimately I am here now of my own choosing and am thankful for anything that has kept me here to enjoy the benefits of the hard times.

I strayed, I was talking about the wedding...

The wedding Wally and I had nearly ten years ago was perfect for us for that time. It was full of meaning and love. It was us.

However now, knowing what I know, I would do somethings differently.

I would have only a few people. A fraction of the 165 that attended the one we had.

I would wear a dress I felt 100% beautiful in.

I would think harder about what I wanted for pictures. (Our pictures were good but I hardly thought about the simple moments that would be nice to capture).

I would have the food we had at our big party last year. Buns and meat with cold appetizers that are yummy and fun! (Which means party mix is a must!)

I would have both of my parents walk me down the aisle and still have my brother up there crying his eyes out as he did at my original wedding.

I'd dance, dance, dance.

The weather would be perfect.

I'd have a big flower in my hair. My hair would be short because that's how it best suits me. I'd be ok with that.

I would've already experienced the worst with Wally and would look forward only to the best. (Ok so I'm off in fairy land here but, it's my dream).

Wally and I have talked about renewing our vows. This would have been our year (tehnically) to do it. On March 24th it will be our diamond anniversary. We will be in Thailand. This means everything to me.

I would love to renew our vows. New ones that fit us now and what we know.

How cool would that be? To renew our vows in Thailand? (Minus the fancy and plus the love).

Maybe that's something to think about.

Well, enough dreamin' I've gotta run!

By the way,

Wally ...

I love you.

Today I have been faithful to you.

Eva :)

Love & Marriage

....goes together like a horse and carriage.

Well that's what the song says anyways. I'm not so sure all of the time.

Putting on a white fancy dress and walking down an aisle surrounded by a couple hundred people doesn't make love any stronger or more real than it did before the dress and the aisle. That is, of course, in my opinion.

The dress and the aisle just 'seal the deal' in this culture.

When I think about it, I kinda wonder why the dress, the aisle and the party don't happen AFTER a couple has been monogamous for a life time.

It could be because no one knows how long that will be, seeing as time of death is so uncertain, it could be because no one would ever commit to being with one person forever without the enticing party and gifts paired with the young love they are feeling. Or it could be because maybe the whole idea is to commit now and grow as you go.

Geez, I don't know.

I do know that the dress and the aisle are, in my opinion, the easiest part of marriage.

Several months ago I remember hearing a couple that had been married for 40 plus years arguing over something. The 'something' seemed to have been a challenge over the years, a tedious argument really. The wife turned to me and said something like 'After 41 years of marriage he still doesn't pick up after himself'.

There were a few things that went through my mind at that point...

First: 'Wow, forty years of clutter! How are you still married?!'
Second: 'Wow, how frustrating that he didn't choose to change for you. Doesn't he know how much that would mean to you?'
Third: 'Wow, you'd think by now you would've realized to let go of the issue, he's not gonna change.'
Finally: 'Uh, oh. What does that mean for Wally and I?'

I leave a trail of clothes where ever I go. Coats, mitts, pjs, socks, underwear, anything that I wear can be found any where in our house. (No chance of hiding from anyone).

He piles his clothes. On my dresser. Until there's a mountain that a small child could climb as it's life's ambition.

I NEVER close tupperware lids properly.

He doesn't generally notice when the kitchen garbage lid is raised and ready to overflow, that it's time to change it.

We'll see if these little things continue to drive eachother crazy for the rest of our lives I guess.

Then there are the big things....

Like: communication, fidelity, understanding, care, life's ambitions.

*sigh*

These are the things that, in my experience, come up less often yet when they do they are BIG and the events surrounding are BIG. How we handle these things, (which incidentally may show through greatly through how we end up handling the small things) defines where are marriage takes us.

The other day we had a large 'discussion'. There was much lead up to this 'discussion', much unacknowledged anticipation (no doubt on both sides) that it would eventually have to come but I'm pretty sure both of us were hoping the other would miraculously see the other's point of view and wave a white flag.

No white flag was anywhere to be seen.

Sure enough I felt so frustrated and cornered that decided silence was that best option. That way I wouldn't say anything regrettable, I would give myself time to think about my next plan of action, and at the same time I would portray that I was completely under control and somewhat calm. (Though that was the furthest thing from the truth).

My intention for silence actually was never to torture Wally. It really was for he above reasons. Little did I know that after only a few minutes he would crack and plead for me to fight with him as he knew the issue was so incredibly important to me.

Have you ever sensed that point in the argument where you've realized no one's going to win? When what you thought was, wasn't and you knew that you had to accept it, cry about it, be mad about it, then cry about it some more?

Well, that's where I was at this point in our 'discussion'. I knew that we'd both lost. That I, for sure, would have to accept that the hopefulness for what I wanted would need to be let go of and it was time to concede to less than my ideal of situations.

Basically, I wasn't going to get what I wanted.

When I put it that way my actions of weeping, lying in the fetal position in bed, and the frustration that is still hold onto in my soul, all seem a little dramatic. However, those are actions I needed to take in order not to yell, throw things, and decide to book a one way ticket to Thailand.

Marriage is so hard sometimes.

As I look back on my post 'discussion' time I actually feel in my spirit, even now, how my rough edges were and are being worked off. How somehow this experience will shape me in my marriage and prepare me to (hopefully) do better in our next 'discussion'. (Which I really hope isn't in an airport because I may get taken to a padded room if I drop into the fetal position in front of a crowd).

One hopes and prays never to run into a 'discussion' that leads to a necessary parting of ways, or the throwing of a well aimed frying pan or knife.

Though this 'discussion' forced me to have to give up on my ideal for a certain situation, it didn't cause me to give up on my marriage. I'd rather grieve my ideal than my marriage. (Although while in the moment it's often very hard to see the grander picture being more important than the one your currently looking straight at).

For the record, just in case I unintentionally portrayed things to make me look better than Wally, we are equally being worked on and neither were any more at fault than the other.

I won't lie, things are still very fresh and the rubbings of the rough edges still sting, it's REALLY hard to let go of what I think is right compared to what is actually right for BOTH of us.

It's been nearly 10 years, and though the 'discussions' have evolved and changed in many ways, the fact that they are there has not. There will always be something to 'pick up'. Might as well accept that now...

The dress and the aisle .... *shakes head*

Be where you are

The sun is shining, the birds are singing, my fake fireplace is burning.

Life is good.

The first thing that comes to mind after saying these things is Bee and her family, then other people I know who are sick, then money scares, then relational issues, and on and on it goes until guilt creeps in and totally steals my non existent bird singing moment (it's winter in Canada, you had to know I made that up).

Hmmmmm .... I'm deciding to just enjoy the feeling I'm having right now with just the birds, the sun and the fireplace. Life hits me the rest of the day so I will deal with it when it comes.

This actually kind of reminds me of something.

One of my very closest friends, the one who surprised me at our party last April, who lives in a land far far away, her husband just got deployed to Afghanistan.

He's a doctor with the Air force (in a land far, far away, now even further away).

Anyhow, they have a 4 yr old and a 2 year old. For 7 months my friend's husband will be gone leaving her to parent and live on her own, far from family yet surrounded by friends.

It's especially at times like this that I so wish we lived close by. (Although I do plan on visiting this summer upon her request and my excitement).

Anyways, if you were to peer at her facebook page the day of and the day after he left you would've thought her husband was seriously injured or even dead. The kicker is it wasn't her who was making the huge deal out of it - it was everyone else!

Of course I think it's great that everyone was thinking of her and expressing well wishes, I did so myself. However, it was getting to the point where many of the messages were of the condolence persuasion. So much so Her husbands step brother actually had to ask if everything was ok.

After talking with my friend on the phone the past couple of nights I am so glad to hear they are doing well. I mentioned to her my annoyance and am fortunate she understood my point. She had shared with me that she had yet to feel or have the dramatic fall on the floor in tears, her life is over, spell.

I reminded her that maybe she should save that moment for when it is necessary. If, that is, she could even control it.

Though I'm so glad my friend has had so many well wishes during the departure of her husband I do hope people remember her a month from now when her 4 year old and 2 year old are fighting like arch enemies over what movie they want to watch or game they want to play with and it hits her 'I have to do this on my own for 6 more months. AAAAAAAHHHHH!!' That's when she's going to need comfort.

Obviously I realize that I'm being super picky over when and how people share their encouragement, it's really non of my business. I know that over encouragement is better than none and people have well meaning hearts and that is really what I should focus on.

I guess I was just worried in a way that people would induce grief that wasn't ripe, that wasn't needed at this time. Right now my friend needs to focus on her children, herself and keeping her marriage going while miles and oceans apart. She doesn't need 'hang in there' she's only begun! 'Hang in there' is more appropriate for near the end I think.

When I trained with Dee I had loads of energy at the beginning of my workout. If someone said something that implied I only needed to get by when I knew I could do more than that I would be irritated. I may even doubt how good I felt and then lose confidence. It's when my energy was totally sapped that I would require a 'hold on'.

I don't know. I feel as though I'm venting about someone else's problem. Probably cause I am. Oh well.

Somewhere in there my point was to be where you're at. Don't worry too early or you may bring on early labour pains. We need to enjoy the good, guilt free. because soon enough we'll be challenged and maybe if we've basked in the good long enough and absorbed it properly we'll be able to carry on even better through whatever experience that finds us.

Life is good. I'm gonna let it stay that way. At least for a little while.

:)

Thirty One and FUN!!!

Clearly I am a 31 year old without kids as I was up at 5:15am with excitement. I'm not exactly sure why I still get like this, maybe it's because I'm a kid at heart. Maybe it's because I'm not tired enough. For whatever reason, I am up and truly appreciating that I am still alive to celebrate another great day!

I am the perpetual birthday celebrator. As you may remember last year I turned thirty but didn't have any party at the time to enjoy. Probably because my priorities were out of whack and I had instead decided to work 22 of the 24 hrs on my birthday.

I then decided to have a little party in June. Only 2 other people thought this was a great idea. We had so much fun anyways. I'll never forget that night getting kicked out of a lingerie store (apparently you're not supposed to take pictures inside them), having girly drinks and appetizers watching the rain pour down like crazy, then eating the best ice cream cake ever. It was grand with even grander people to share it with.

I often get flack from all over about how incredibly self absorbed I am in these regards. I have no problem what-so-ever agreeing with this observation.

It's true I am completely self absorbed. Who isn't that throws their own party to celebrate themselves? Duh.

However, I'm ok with this because I know that by being excited about myself I can be excited about other people (not that I do this perfectly but I try to be aware). I like to consider myself someone that gets excited and displays it fairly openly, so when other people have exciting news I can be someone that has the 'party' with them. Even though it may not literally be a party, hopefully they can feel even more joy from whatever it is they are happy about because someone else is happy too.

I'm not above screaming or shouting with joy. Hitting them on the back (or anywhere else), grabbing their shirt and saying 'Holy crap that's GREAT!!'. Essentially I guess I assault them with excitement. I try anyways. This is something I want to do more of, well, for those who can take it.

I also remember many a birthdays coming and going and I felt so sad when my 'big day' was over. It felt like something didn't live up to the hoopla that was supposed to be. I got tired of feeling sorry for myself because 'nobody remembered'. (I have to say though, facebook really helps with this now).

I decided one day I was tired of relying on the mood of others to give me what I so much wanted - love, joy, and excitement that I was around. When I realized that no matter how much I wanted to will them to be as excited as I was about me being around I couldn't. I had to let go of that expectation and just be excited for myself.

Now, at 31 years of age, I am the person that is over the top excited to get a year older. (Who am I kidding? I am excited to get a day older!) I am someone who will never be afraid to throw their own party (although obviously it's way better if someone else does it for you, I don't want to die disappointed that no one cared enough to do so). I will enjoy myself, myself. There's not time to be wasted on pity.

As I say all of these very conceited and selfish things that will no doubt give fuel to the fire for those who aren't my fans already. I must acknowledge that I would like this year to work on doing better celebrating others.

I think I've been working up to this. Surely it must be true that to honestly be excited about someone else and their life you must first be able to appreciate your own. OR. Maybe that's just what I tell myself to feel better.

Either way I hope to have some great times of enjoying those I love and honouring them in someway or another throughout the year. I already know of one person in particular I'd like to celebrate. I'm looking forward to their party (which isn't a birthday party per se). Actually I can think of two gatherings already.

Hmmmmmm .... I guess I am saying this will be the year of celebrating others! How exciting, this should be fun! (And it totally falls in line with my new number: 31 and FUN!!)

Realizations ...

I'm been figuring a few things out lately. Well, sort of.

* Several times in the past few months when I've realized that I've misplaced something the first thought that I have is: 'Where's the beeper button so that I can find it?' (You know like the buttons on the base of a portable phone that make the phone beep so you can find it - I think EVERYTHING should have a system like that!)

* When I got home from work I used the washroom and noted the pjs and underwear of mine lying on the bathroom floor and I thought 'I'd better pick those up before my 'Clean Eating Students' get here. Then I walked downstairs and put something away in the bathroom down there and found another pair of underwear on the floor there. I was later in my room to put something away and saw another stray pair. I thought to myself 'Wow if a stranger saw this they'd either think I had a very fun ... intimate life or an incontinence problem'.

* More and more as new people at work seem to be diagnosed with terminal illnesses I am reminded over and over the lesson of not waiting to live out your joy. I am really frustrated that it's taking me so long to trust enough to live this out with faith. I hope I don't run out of time.

* Wally is obsessed with leaving lights on throughout the house during the night. I'm obsessed with staying in the shower until there's no more hot water. I think it's funny that our parents used to go on and on about someday when we have to pay for hydro and hot water we'll be more aware, but it doesn't phase us.

* While at work today a 2 1/2 year old little girl saw the little green squishy thingamajig in my purse and dove to get it out and play with it. I nearly tackled her to the ground before she could get to it because it is MY little green squishy thingamajig! I was successful, she was mad. I am clearly already deeply attached to the little guy. (Perhaps because I know it drives Wally nuts when I bounce it continually off of my hand a hundred times a minute).

* I am tired.

* I am selfish

* I don't care too much.

* I want so badly to sit for a day at home and be cozy and comfortable and really think about what I want out of life and how I want to give back and then figure out how to achieve some of my personal goals. Whenever I have time I feel overwhelmed at the task of organizing and understanding my thoughts so I avoid it. Hmmmmm, how could I make this fun?

* No matter what a person has they always want more (at least this is true for me!)

* Laughing makes everything better - that's why I'm excited tomorrow to be: Thirty one and FUN!!

A trip to heaven (A.K.A. the dollar store)

I was at the dollar store yesterday with someone I was supporting. She's only allowed to 'window shop' with all but one of her staff. We had some time to kill so we 'window shopped for quite sometime ... in the dollar store.

The dollar store is an amazing place. It has EVERYTHING that you could ever want.

Seeing as we had more time than we really needed (I wish I felt that I had that problem), we went down every single aisle. It was wonderful.

I tried to spy every little trinket and item there was. I picked up something every once in a while. Sometimes to figure out what exactly it was and other times just to get the feeling that I was going to buy something (sometimes I pick something up and walk around with it as if I'm going to buy it and then just put it back at the end - just cause I like the feeling of having something).

HAlf way through our time there I spotted a mini tupperware container with a mini ice cream swirly cone, vanilla dipped and strawberry dipped donuts and a mini slice of vanilla, chocolate cake with 2 strawberries on top. They were all so cute! I held it in my hand for a moment then reprimanded myself for even thinking about using my debit card for a $1 purchase of mini treat erasers and then I put it down.

I continued on my trip around the store and saw school teacher encouragement stickers (I mean, for the students). They were like 'Way to go!' 'A+' 'Great Effort' (who ever wants that one?) and 'Excellent'. They looked like they were sketched by a kid, very cute as well.

I thought about how Glo told me once that she uses a chart with reinforcement stickers on it to help her eat well and exercise. She uses hearts for when she exercises and little farm animals for when she eats right (yes she's cute too).

I thought to myself 'Maybe I need a reinforcement calender to help me do better in those areas. Maybe I need these stickers.' So I picked them up and held them while I walked on.

Next I came to one of my new favourite inventions: dry erase markers.

I LOVE these!!!!

A few weeks ago I asked Wally for one and decided they'd be great fun to keep in our not yet decorated main bathroom to draw on the mirror with. I've since decided it's the best idea I'd had in years.

Yes I realize probably someone else has thought of this a dozen times over but it's a first thought for me. We've since added a couple of extra markers and have enjoyed getting notes from our guests that visit the loo.

Beside the markers was an actual white board. Hmmmmm .... I thought. Maybe I should buy one of those - it is only a dollar (actually 2 - inflation sucks).

I picked up the white board feeling for some reason that this 8 1/2 by 11 piece of material would somehow change my life significantly and off I went to now feel justified in buying the mini eraser set that was too cute to leave behind. (I also grabbed a weird squishy bright green spiky thingamajig that I've wanted to get for years but would never justify, just because he's silly and fun).

I'm sitting beside my empty white board and new markers with handy erasers on the ends. I have my stickers all ready for me to do something worth the words 'Great Job!'.

I have the tools.

Now I just need to do something with them.

Isn't that often the challenge. You think 'If only I had ___________, I'd be able to do great things, or accomplish my goal' If only.

I think more often than not we have everything we need we just aren't sure how to get started.

I feel that way right now.

Ya know what I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna play with the silly green thingamajig and write something barely profound on my white board in hopes that inspiration strikes.

Or at least something funny. I do like a laugh.

Moral of the story: go to the dollar store and buy 5 things for no reason that make you happy. Maybe it's farting putting, or green goo. Maybe it's the cigarette smoke sucker that you've wondered if it really worked (even though you don't smoke). Perhaps you just want a place mat with the human skeleton on it to learn all the fancy names of bones.

Whatever it is... splurg. It's only a dollar (or two depending on how badly that dollar store has been hit by the economy).