I was chatting with a new soon to be friend today and was sharing with her about my little retreat last summer. I began to reminisce...
I was thinking of what it was like to go away and be completely alone at a bed and breakfast with myself for two days and two nights.
*closes eyes*
*takes a breath*
It was amazing.
For the first time doing something new was not scary. I was not bored without television or the internet, in fact it was fabulous.
I loved being secluded in my room apart from pretty much everything. Swimming in a sea of bed coverings, enjoying the beautiful red roses I took with me from my graduation the day before (yes I put 12 individual water thingies on the ends and took them too!).
I read. I watched movies. I walked. I admired nature. I listened to music. And God. I found out that I was already a mother within.
It was magical really.
I have to say that I was sorta wishin' I could go back to what seemed like an incredible place.
Wow. Memories are amazing.
You know what is frustrating? We live for these experiences. We wait through the troubles of life all year for a couple of days of reflection and relaxation.
We trudge through the mud of the 'every day' often unhappy and discontented so that for a bundle of hours we can breathe without fears of being interrupted, of needing an inhaler, or of being knocked off of our feet by someone we come across.
It saddens me when we live like this because we really only get one life on this earth. And though this earth isn't really the climax of our on going lives it is a gift full of sensations to experience. Why so often do we settle for less?
I'm guessing it's because of the unknown, because of the fear that grips us, because of the comfort we want to feel.
I think of selling our house for us to go back to school and how scary it looked but also how exciting it felt. We were on an adventure. We honestly didn't know what was at the end of it for us. To be honest .... we still don't. I love this.
What I don't love is falling into ordinary life in a way that seems to cloud my vigor for the world I've been given to live in.
I want always to keep my senses alive to the possibilities around me. I am so blessed to have 'livers' (not the organs) all around me. People who step out of the ordinary and into the extraordinary.
I have a friend Glo, she just recently decided to not go back to school in the fall to do her Masters but rather go to Holland for a year to be a nanny. She's so excited!!!
Someone else I look up to is my friend Chi Chi. She graduated from the same program as myself over 8 years ago and after pouring her heart and soul into her work (and being the best support worker I know) have decided to return to school full time this fall to pursue horticulture - her true passion.
I also have another admirable friend who has lived in Taiwan teaching English as a second language for the past couple of years and plans to return to Canada to study law a newly discovered love.
There's also my priest friend that sort of got thrown (gently) out of the country he was serving the poor (in money) and is now spending a year going where ever the Spirit leads while his paper work is figured out. What an adventure!
Though my life doesn't burst with the appearance of excitement I do look at it as such. I will get to have a brief and undoubtedly life changing visit to a country my heart melted over the second I saw pictures of it. This is small but wonderful for me.
Hmmmmmmmm....
Perhaps I ought to consider ways I can add more excitement to my life (a smile is developing). Something that I will remember and be changed by like my original 40 Day adventure.
I am so flawed. So imperfect. So ordinary.
But, I am me and the only one there is.
I shall find adventure in whatever way I can. For I believe, it is out there waiting for us
;)
1 comment:
I can't wait for your book! You are someone that I truly admire, someone who really knows what they want and is working toward getting there!s
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