Still Alive

Once again I am posting something short. I just want to say that I am indeed alive and for some reason drained of thought. Perhaps it's because it is all going into party planning (as mentioned earlier).

I know I really don't need to post little blurbs like this between large posts but I like keeping connected, even in little ways.

Well, I hope to write again sooner than later. I wouldn't mind reading comments though. Or random thoughts. Something entertaining or thoughtful.

But then not many people seem to like to leave those comments, at least not often.

Oh well if you are in the mood and want to share with me something, anything. Would love to hear your voice.

Love,
Eva :)

Shortie

Another short and bland information post (I think I'll be ready for some writing again in the next couple of days).

I have begun to make some head way on the party front!!! I just booked the DJ for our dance and they sound great. Also am planning to meet with our invitation lady tomorrow as well as my friend who is helping with the decorations.

The past few days I have felt very down about it and a little overwhelmed but after finally booked a DJ I am rejuvenated. I friend reminded me that good things are worth the work. I am believing and trusting that this party will be full of great things!

It's funny most of the time I feel full of life and not caring what people think about my (in this instance crazy party) ideas. But when things become challenging it's easy to doubt yourself and wonder if it'll be fun, meaningful and worth all of the money in the end. I mean if no one came we'd feel pretty silly. I just hope that people catch the 'vision' of creating memories and truly 'celebrating life'. From my little experience planning this party I have quickly learned that people aren't used to celebrating for no apparent reason.

What a shame.

It's silly but I what so much more than a party out fo this party. I want people to 'wake up' and see what a gift they've been given with those around them and with life itself. So much of our time is spent focusing on what we don't have, or who we aren't. Rather than what we do have, the possibilities that lie within and the people we can be.

*sigh*

I can only do my best to project a great attitude of true excitement and fervor for the life I had by living it fully and trying my best to spread the joy I have. Even when I feel like I lose it once in a while.

Well better catch some reads before sleep comes. I haven't been finding resteasily lately. I trust that tonight will be different.

Live baby live.

Does it really matter what day of 'successfulness' it is?

Ok so there has been a slight hiatus from success as of late. I'm sure you all were living in complete suspense. I'm been truly struggling with the wagon idea.

Wally and I have had a couple of serious conversations about my 'issues' with food. He thinks I should seriously consider talking to someone (like, you know, a professional - or I would just call them a skinny person 'know it all'). Anyways, I've thought about it and considering my actions (which at this point shall remain private, it gets old after a while) it may be something I should follow through with. Along with the list of a hundred other items on my to do list.

Wall has also brought to my attention how much I talk about this issue and that by focusing on it I am making it more of an issue. I think he's probably right. He also kindly pointed out that I seem rather self absorbed when I fixate on it - imagine that.

I have yet to meet anyone else that talks about food stuff, I mean talks about it. I know lots of us struggle with it but I feel as though I'm the only one that is truly screwed up by it.

I'm getting bored talking about this subject - it's not that fun.

Do me a favour: google Compasio Thailand. This is the thing I want to do within the next year. I watched some of the videos posted at 3:30am this morning when I couldn't sleep. I was reminded about the dreams I've had since I was a teenager to go abroad and serve. To love. To care. I was thinking maybe I could work on something while I wait. Something to help them. That might be cool.

We'll see. My ideas always seem to get me into trouble. For instance I have this party I'm planning. I can't seem to find a DJ. I will find a DJ, but it'll like work. I need to be around people that understand my party and are excited to be at my party. Maybe that's what I need to do to cheer up - be with my party people.

Anyway, I hope to write about some other stuff soon. Thanks for hangin' with me,

Forever hoping,

Eva :)

Day 9 of Successfulness

The wagon stopped for a break today. I'm currently sitting under a shade tree. Cause where I'm traveling it's warm.

Maybe I'll have more thoughts tomorrow...

Day 8 of Successfulness

Overall not a horrible wagon ride. I almost jumped completely off but then I seemed easily swayed to just dangle my feet - doesn't hurt to live a little.


I only got 1 hour of sleep last night and was wide awake the rest of the evening. Got a lot of e-mailing done in regards to the par-te. Realized that 15 people actually had RSVP-ed (interestingly only 2 of the 5 people that I knew about was on this list) and I hadn't even known it. Clearly I'm no technological wizard.

So with 7 hours of time to myself I spent some time researching party ideas on the net. Decided that google was useless for parties of my persuasion and finally decided that I'll just have to be creative on my own. Eek.

It has been interesting getting e-mails from potential guests I don't normally correspond with who are asking for more info on the par-te. Every one seems to want to know more. 'What's this all about Eva?', 'Tell me more', 'You've got me curious'. There were a handful of people I decided I better actually give a few tid bits of info to so they understood why they were invited and what for.

I mean I'd be a little weirded out if I got an invite from someone I never see or perhaps haven't' seen in forever with little info on what the event's about. It's kind of neat though to peak people's curiosity. I'm a bit surprised how willing certain people are to come. I'm planning to trying and enjoy and make the most of every opportunity I have during this process to make people really think about their lives and living them.

We'll see how it goes.

Here's hoping I get to go to sleep tonight and have something incredibly witty to say tomorrow. For now I just can't seem to think normal, well normal for me, I'm just too spent.

Blessings.

Hey before you go, wanna send me just a line and tell me who you are in a sentence. I may not even know you but it'd be cool to learn. If I already do tell me something new. I don't know tell me something you LOVE to do or dream of doing. Be fun! Sometimes it kills me not knowing who is reading. I mean I don't care that you are a stranger but I feel like I'm missin' out on a good story, sometimes I feel that way with people I do know. Tell me.

Smile for me today, I'm a little too drowsy. Still so thankful for my life.

Day 7 of Successfulness

Against my better judgment I got weighed in today. Then as I was on the scale I remembered it didn't matter as long as I didn't look again.

Ignorance truly is bliss.

Apparently I lost a pound. Apparently a guy in the competition lost 12. Whatever. He doesn't carry the weight of procreating on his shoulders (or hips). Of course he can lose the weight.

I was impressed with losing a pound considering I was just buckled in 2 1/2 days ago.

Changing the subject.

I need a challenge. I'm feeling a little bored. Not really with work yet as I am training a bazillion hours a day. But in life.

I feel like now that school is over I don't have an admirable goal. You know, something to brag about.

I will admit I find it very difficult planning anything around my work right now. It'll probably be like this for the next few months. Wally and I found out a few days ago that we are going to need to purchase a second vehicle, as he is commuting 50 minutes to and from work every day. We really had hoped not to have to and thought we had something worked out with my parents (getting rid of their old car) but that fell through. We are so enjoying being debt free right now, we didn't want to lose that, however C'est la vie right? We've been spoiled since we sold our home.

Anyhoo, where was I? Oh yes, bored. So I want to do something. Learn something. Engage in something. Look forward to something, yet enjoy the process of getting it.

Since we moved here I've wanted to try some sort of dance class. I really don't care what just something to get me movin' and havin' fun at the same time.

I've thought about putting my cake decorating set to good use and taking a class - meeting new people. Now it doesn't sound that fun. Also thought about I could take a course at the college or something but I can get free day workshops through work.

Maybe I should just make it a priority to do something different. Why haven't I already learned this lesson? I should know this by now.

I am considering a trip to Thailand next spring for 2 weeks. It's that 'mission' trip I've always wanted to take. A friend of mine offered to travel with me and go. I asked Wally if there's a chance he may consider it. His considering may take some time. I definitely look forward to that but it is a ways off.

I like to be in the state f enjoyment - you know like in my 40 Days thing. I felt very alive doing that. Constantly learning something new about myself and those around me. Though originally it wasn't really relationally based, it turned out to be a very relational activity. It was outside of my box and fun too. Hmmmm. I've got to keep thinking.

I miss relationships, I think I want to do something that will nurture that part of me.

Thinking. Thinking. Thinking.

Day 6 of Stupidness to be renamed Successfullness

Yeah I'm trying to stay positive.

The ride on the wagon today was pleasurable. Comfortable and easy. Put my hand outside of the confines of the body of the wagon and felt the wind blow through my fingers. It felt freeing.

In other news ...

Apparently I could be the first person to die of the common cold and I'm the only one who knows this.

I learned today that I am not a fan of Enriche Iglesias. At all. Fingernails on a freakin' chalk board.

I'm convinced my nose ran away with the spoon and may never return.

I found out that there is good reason for warnings regarding drowsiness on cold and sinus medication. It was like my eyelids were in a weight lifting competition.

Sometimes I find the people I shadow with at work far more draining than the people I support .... sigh

I love having a 'connection' with someone - I got that today with someone new I am supporting, should be interesting.

I sent out several 'save the date' facebook notices (like 75) and have heard from only 5 people. Apparently I'm not the hippest act in town.

The 5 people that I have heard from are clearly the most important ones that will be there.

I guess I can't be honest about EVERYTHING on here because I just erased my last point.

I'm considering starting to carry a pen and notepad with me to remember my clever observations during the day. That's not too weird, is it? Maybe don't answer that one.

I love getting real e-mail. Seriously the sight of a number beside my 'inbox' gets me all excited. (In a completely ok way).

Did I mentioned that I finished my book the other night when I was up late? I already miss it. I feel like I need to write it a love letter.

I need to get reading another book (shhhhh ... don't tell the other one).

Tonight I plan to sleep throughout the night in it's entirety. I worked another 13 hour day and have a 10 hour day tomorrow, I am determined.