Yes my adventure was my work day for 35 and it’s never an understatement when I’m talking about my job. I have to say I love that I get to laugh so much at work (sometimes appropriately and sometimes to only keep sane, never the less I do laugh). This day was no different in the humour it held for me. Here are a few of the funnies I got from Day 35 at work:
Guy, Muscles and I were sitting at the kitchen table while Guy was eating. Muscles and I were joking about the fact that he (Muscles) wanted my blog address and had for a while but I was holding the information regarding it high over his head for a suitable ransom. Muscles describes himself as an eight year old kid who can’t stand not knowing something that others know and gets irritated and obsessed with it until he finds the secret out. I loved this and so I taunted him every chance I got. Apparently he had talked about wanting access to my blog for weeks at work, since he first heard about it. Once I found this fact out I tried to use it to my advantage every chance I got – this was too much fun!
Anyway, as we all sat at the table and I teased Muscles very discretely (not actually mentioning the blog itself), Guy (who is very defensive over anything negative that is said about his favourite staff Muscles) piped up after a while and said: “Eva you need to stop being a bully or I’m going to call the police on you!” At which point Muscles thanked Guy for his defense (as I glared at Muscles). I may have added another jab because Guy then reiterated “Eva, you shouldn’t be a cyber bully, I’m going to call the police on you if you don’t stop!” Finally at this point Muscles decided it was a good time to let Guy know that all was ok and that we were only joking around.
At one point later in the day Guy stated to me that “This house is a democracy, not a relationship!” something I’m sure he heard from his favourite staff. However I think the quote was supposed to be: “This house is run by a dictatorship, not a democracy!”
Later in the afternoon Guy suddenly ran up to me and was in a state of hurry. He said: “Eva, can you please time how long it takes me to go to the bathroom? Red (another staff) is the fastest person I know that can go to the bathroom – that’s a girl. I want you to time me.” I said sure and started watching my clock.
After exactly 60 seconds Guy returned from the bathroom and asked what his time was. I told him precisely one minute (in an excited tone). At that point I asked him if he remembered to wash his hands.
He was rather annoyed and replied “Yes. Why does everyone always ask me that?!”
“Well, you were really fast and I just wanted to be sure you did.”
He quickly put both of his hands around my neck and said “Feel. I washed them, they’re still wet.”
I was rather uncomfortable at this point (with the two of his hands clenched around my throat ‘n all) and I must have looked it because Guy then said “Why the look on your face?”
I replied with “Well your hands are around my neck and that makes me nervous. Can you please take them off?”
He sort of gave me a half smile and asked “Are you worried that I might choke you?”
“Maybe a little” I confessed.
“Don’t worry Eva” he said with a huge grin and a hand patting me on my shoulder, “I wouldn’t choke you because I think you are cute.”
Wow what a relief!
Another point during my shift Hottie (Guy’s description of another certain staff) and I were sitting during a meal with Guy at the table. He says “You know I just can’t seem to control my behaviour when ___________ (insert name) is working. Some staff just cause me to go out of control. They are the ones I try to get to quit because I don’t like them.” Hmmmm I’m thinking Guy is a lot smarter than everyone gives him credit for (aside from the fact that he tells on himself).
Just another day at work!
Friday, September 4, 2009
Adventure Day 34 - #3 Go to Catholic Mass
I had been looking very much forward to the day I would get to go to my first official
Catholic mass. I had been to one a few months ago while doing a placement at a Catholic school. I had really enjoyed working at that particular school as well as the mass the school attended together each month. I have briefly mentioned a friend of mine (sort of, I think we could say friends), that was raised Protestant and had turned Catholic a few years ago and who is currently seeking God for direction regarding the Priesthood.
If you are Protestant you are likely very surprised to hear of such a thing. Having been raised Protestant I was. Usually we are known for converting Catholics into our ‘more real, lively faith’. I have never really known a Catholic personally who practiced their faith (that’s not a knock, I just haven’t known any), so hearing Father Al’s story (my friend) really took me by surprise. Not only that, but the part that made/makes me curious is that he lives a life of calling rather than habit. He doesn’t assume what his path is, he seeks it out day by day (well it appears that way to me). I know only a couple of people well in my life that do that. Interestingly these people are single, are not bogged down by owning stuff (house, big things, etc), and they intentionally leave their lives open to where God could be leading them – no assumptions. I look up to these people to teach me what it looks like to live by Spirit rather than my man’s opinion and expectation.
It has been through some interesting conversations (e-mails) with my friend Father Al that I became interested in attending a Catholic Mass – hence this becoming #3 on my list. I have to admit I wanted to accomplish this number much earlier on in my adventure than I did. However I became intimidated by attending a religious ceremony alone without knowing the meaning, expectation and the duty of the unaware onlooker. Though I have grown up deeply involved in church throughout my life I have been very ignorant of Catholic practices. To help myself out in this endeavor I made a plea on facebook (I am very thankful for facebook) not expecting to hear a peep, when all of a sudden I had an offer! I was shocked!!!
Not only did I have an offer of a companion to go to mass with but this person was a former Catholic, someone I knew well, and they were willing to go to the Cathedral of my choice – could it get any better than that? My date was none other than Aims!
I was so excited when she offered to come the one hour drive to help me experience #3 and admittedly I was a bit baffled as to why. I mentioned before that Aims has a bit of a trucker’s mouth yet a heart of gold and she doesn’t hesitate one minute to tell you what she thinks. Though she was once Catholic she sort of made the turn to Protestant when she married and had a child of her own and has been growing ever since where she’s at. I did not think that she would ever want to come and spend her Saturday night (she truly doesn’t get out and about kidless often) driving a ways to go to mass with me, when I knew there was little in it for her.
Not long after she arrived I didn’t pretend to understand why she’d come to do this and I just came out and asked. She answered me on the way to the church: “I’ve started my own list Eva, both Bub (her husband) and I have. It’s time I started doing stuff, trying new things and getting out more so here I am!” Wow! I couldn’t believe it. I knew she was sincere because she had not yet come to visit me in my new home nor had we visited (aside from our outing a few weeks prior) in several months. She had truly taken the idea to heart. The odd thing was that I had only mentioned my list briefly. I hadn’t gone into any long drawn out explanation, just a simple ‘this is on my list because…’ I was stunned that Aims had been influenced by a single conversation about mass and tequila.
As we entered the church I followed Aims after her actions (I didn’t mimic, just observed) and we sat a third of the way from the back of the church. What a beautiful sight it was. Murals everywhere, stained glass, high ceilings, everything that could make a building stunning surrounded me. I later decided that there could have just been the organ playing in the background and me sitting alone and I would have had a deeply spiritual experience. As we sat, we quietly discussed what may happen and what I should do. Several times words had flowed out of Aims’ mouth that required the traditional crissy cross Catholic thingy (I told you her vocabulary left a bit to be desired – at least in a church setting). I had to hold myself back from laughing a couple of times – not the best way to quiet myself.
The service began and we watched a processional, then listened and participated in some singing (lead by a beautiful voice), then commenced the sermon, some readings, followed by communion (which I skipped out of respect and ignorance of what the rules were). (By the way it was the Eucharist that really spoke to the heart of Father Al in his experience). By the end I have to admit I was a bit disappointed. Aims helped me feel a bit better as we were approaching the parking lot by saying: “Well, I have to say, as far as mass is concerned, that was *made a sounds with her tongue blowing out of her mouth, along with a thumbs down sign*.” Of course I took this lightly as I know Aims had never practiced Catholicism from the heart but rather out of her family tradition, and only as a youth.
I came away with many more questions and a desire to learn the whys about many more things. (When I eventually got home I did send off an e-mail to Father Al letting him know of my experience and am yet to get a response. I am curious to hear what he thinks, but sure that I will try another mass sometime, perhaps somewhere else).
My mass experience may have ended there but my evening with Aims did not. She was game for a meal out and some good time together. I was pleasantly surprised and took in every minute. After much driving through the city trying to find a certain restaurant, then choosing another and accidentally driving in the opposite direction, we finally found a Vietnamese place to go where we were able to sit and enjoy some good food and conversation.
We had such a great time! In fact I don’t think we’ve ever had an occasion like it (at least not in several years). She has a way of making me laugh like nobody else (remember I don’t really laugh easy), but that night for the first time since I was a kid I sprayed water through my nose from laughing so hard (can I just say that water is far more painful than milk coming out the nose). We talked and talked, about all kinds of things. We’ve never really spoken all that seriously about life and spiritual things but that night we did and it was really cool. At the same time we were able to have fun and relax too!
Though the focus of my evening was originally one thing, the lesson and gift I got out of it was something totally different. I had hoped for a real spiritual experience of learning something new and seeing through different eyes. Instead I got a true gift of meaningful connection and friendship with family that I had grown away from in recent years gone by. We shared priceless time together that meant something. It wasn’t really planned (yes mass was but the rest wasn’t) it just happened out of a different intention.
Time and time again I am seeing the benefits of why it is so important to try to do things out of the ordinary and just attempt walking in different waters, because you will meet amazing people along the way. Perhaps people you’ve already met before somewhere else, but whom you meet again with new eyes and a fresh heart. That’s what Day 34 gave to me, a wonderful, wonderful gift of eye opening light.
Now I just pray the electricity stays on …
Catholic mass. I had been to one a few months ago while doing a placement at a Catholic school. I had really enjoyed working at that particular school as well as the mass the school attended together each month. I have briefly mentioned a friend of mine (sort of, I think we could say friends), that was raised Protestant and had turned Catholic a few years ago and who is currently seeking God for direction regarding the Priesthood.
If you are Protestant you are likely very surprised to hear of such a thing. Having been raised Protestant I was. Usually we are known for converting Catholics into our ‘more real, lively faith’. I have never really known a Catholic personally who practiced their faith (that’s not a knock, I just haven’t known any), so hearing Father Al’s story (my friend) really took me by surprise. Not only that, but the part that made/makes me curious is that he lives a life of calling rather than habit. He doesn’t assume what his path is, he seeks it out day by day (well it appears that way to me). I know only a couple of people well in my life that do that. Interestingly these people are single, are not bogged down by owning stuff (house, big things, etc), and they intentionally leave their lives open to where God could be leading them – no assumptions. I look up to these people to teach me what it looks like to live by Spirit rather than my man’s opinion and expectation.
It has been through some interesting conversations (e-mails) with my friend Father Al that I became interested in attending a Catholic Mass – hence this becoming #3 on my list. I have to admit I wanted to accomplish this number much earlier on in my adventure than I did. However I became intimidated by attending a religious ceremony alone without knowing the meaning, expectation and the duty of the unaware onlooker. Though I have grown up deeply involved in church throughout my life I have been very ignorant of Catholic practices. To help myself out in this endeavor I made a plea on facebook (I am very thankful for facebook) not expecting to hear a peep, when all of a sudden I had an offer! I was shocked!!!
Not only did I have an offer of a companion to go to mass with but this person was a former Catholic, someone I knew well, and they were willing to go to the Cathedral of my choice – could it get any better than that? My date was none other than Aims!
I was so excited when she offered to come the one hour drive to help me experience #3 and admittedly I was a bit baffled as to why. I mentioned before that Aims has a bit of a trucker’s mouth yet a heart of gold and she doesn’t hesitate one minute to tell you what she thinks. Though she was once Catholic she sort of made the turn to Protestant when she married and had a child of her own and has been growing ever since where she’s at. I did not think that she would ever want to come and spend her Saturday night (she truly doesn’t get out and about kidless often) driving a ways to go to mass with me, when I knew there was little in it for her.
Not long after she arrived I didn’t pretend to understand why she’d come to do this and I just came out and asked. She answered me on the way to the church: “I’ve started my own list Eva, both Bub (her husband) and I have. It’s time I started doing stuff, trying new things and getting out more so here I am!” Wow! I couldn’t believe it. I knew she was sincere because she had not yet come to visit me in my new home nor had we visited (aside from our outing a few weeks prior) in several months. She had truly taken the idea to heart. The odd thing was that I had only mentioned my list briefly. I hadn’t gone into any long drawn out explanation, just a simple ‘this is on my list because…’ I was stunned that Aims had been influenced by a single conversation about mass and tequila.
As we entered the church I followed Aims after her actions (I didn’t mimic, just observed) and we sat a third of the way from the back of the church. What a beautiful sight it was. Murals everywhere, stained glass, high ceilings, everything that could make a building stunning surrounded me. I later decided that there could have just been the organ playing in the background and me sitting alone and I would have had a deeply spiritual experience. As we sat, we quietly discussed what may happen and what I should do. Several times words had flowed out of Aims’ mouth that required the traditional crissy cross Catholic thingy (I told you her vocabulary left a bit to be desired – at least in a church setting). I had to hold myself back from laughing a couple of times – not the best way to quiet myself.
The service began and we watched a processional, then listened and participated in some singing (lead by a beautiful voice), then commenced the sermon, some readings, followed by communion (which I skipped out of respect and ignorance of what the rules were). (By the way it was the Eucharist that really spoke to the heart of Father Al in his experience). By the end I have to admit I was a bit disappointed. Aims helped me feel a bit better as we were approaching the parking lot by saying: “Well, I have to say, as far as mass is concerned, that was *made a sounds with her tongue blowing out of her mouth, along with a thumbs down sign*.” Of course I took this lightly as I know Aims had never practiced Catholicism from the heart but rather out of her family tradition, and only as a youth.
I came away with many more questions and a desire to learn the whys about many more things. (When I eventually got home I did send off an e-mail to Father Al letting him know of my experience and am yet to get a response. I am curious to hear what he thinks, but sure that I will try another mass sometime, perhaps somewhere else).
My mass experience may have ended there but my evening with Aims did not. She was game for a meal out and some good time together. I was pleasantly surprised and took in every minute. After much driving through the city trying to find a certain restaurant, then choosing another and accidentally driving in the opposite direction, we finally found a Vietnamese place to go where we were able to sit and enjoy some good food and conversation.
We had such a great time! In fact I don’t think we’ve ever had an occasion like it (at least not in several years). She has a way of making me laugh like nobody else (remember I don’t really laugh easy), but that night for the first time since I was a kid I sprayed water through my nose from laughing so hard (can I just say that water is far more painful than milk coming out the nose). We talked and talked, about all kinds of things. We’ve never really spoken all that seriously about life and spiritual things but that night we did and it was really cool. At the same time we were able to have fun and relax too!
Though the focus of my evening was originally one thing, the lesson and gift I got out of it was something totally different. I had hoped for a real spiritual experience of learning something new and seeing through different eyes. Instead I got a true gift of meaningful connection and friendship with family that I had grown away from in recent years gone by. We shared priceless time together that meant something. It wasn’t really planned (yes mass was but the rest wasn’t) it just happened out of a different intention.
Time and time again I am seeing the benefits of why it is so important to try to do things out of the ordinary and just attempt walking in different waters, because you will meet amazing people along the way. Perhaps people you’ve already met before somewhere else, but whom you meet again with new eyes and a fresh heart. That’s what Day 34 gave to me, a wonderful, wonderful gift of eye opening light.
Now I just pray the electricity stays on …
Saturday, August 29, 2009
40 Day Adventure is done!!
As I mentioned earlier I have a ton of posts to write about the last seven days of my adventure. Wally and I are going on our planned vacation for a few days and look forward to some relaxation after our busy summer (and my super busy social engagements as of late). I look forward to doing some writing while we are away and posting when we get home in a week.
I think to say that my last 40 days were an adventure is a perfect description because it has been all that and so much more. Please stick with me and come back in a week to hear how the rest of my experience went - you won't be disappointed!
Miss me and let me know if any of you have been trying anything adventurous of your own. I'd love to hear if anyone has challenged themselves in any way - big or small, it all counts!
Love Eva :)
I think to say that my last 40 days were an adventure is a perfect description because it has been all that and so much more. Please stick with me and come back in a week to hear how the rest of my experience went - you won't be disappointed!
Miss me and let me know if any of you have been trying anything adventurous of your own. I'd love to hear if anyone has challenged themselves in any way - big or small, it all counts!
Love Eva :)
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Adventure Day 33 Part2 - #12 & #6
#12 - Convince 5 other girl friends to go out for a night on the town
#6 – Have a shot of Tequila
Adventure Day 33 held one of the most memorable nights I would have in a very long time – it was going to be my girls night out, and a chance to try my first taste of tequila. What a night it would be!
As I mentioned early on in my 40 Day Adventure finding 5 friends to go out with was a huge challenge, or at least I was making it into one. You know how you have different groups of friends? Like old school friends, job friends, for me home church friends, maybe neighbourhood friends. Initially when I put this item on my list I thought ‘How hard could it be to invite 5 friends out for some fun? I have lots of friends – I can do this!’ … until I started making lists of invitees. That’s when it hit me. Girls aren’t always that easy to mix up.
Come on ladies, you know what I mean. We all have, and have been, the friend that was looking forward to hanging out with specific people that we know then we come to find out they’ve invited a bunch of other people they know. All of a sudden our quaint, safe gathering has turned into a block party and we have no one left to talk to. (Ok block party is a bit extreme but in the moment that’s what it feels like). We’ve also had those friends that we invite to a group function that feel like we have to ‘babysit’ the whole time because we know full well they aren’t the social butterfly we are (I’ll admit I’ve been this person too) and in the end we wonder if it was all that wise to have them join in.
You see this is the dilemma I faced, along with something else: I wasn’t too sure if I ended up inviting friends from all different areas of my life how they would all mix together. It’s kind of like menu planning … is it ok to serve grapes on a snack buffet along side of the chips and salsa dip? Is chocolate going to be an appropriate addition (of course chocolate can liven up any buffet)? What about orange juice being offered beside red wine? Will all of these various forms of indulgence compliment each other or completely clash and ruin a potentially great evening?
After creating and sorting through several different lists of people I had considered inviting to my fun night out, I had to finally just make a decision. Since my time was indeed running out and I was forced to choose, I felt no other option but to take a risk and mix up the party. I went on facebook one day, tired of trying to create ‘the perfect group’, and just started typing random names of people that came to mind that I thought may enjoy a chance to mingle and have fun with possible strangers. I invited around 11 people hoping that there might be five that would respond with a ‘yes’. I thought to myself ‘Surely it won’t be that hard to have 5 people out of this list that would want to come – I’m a nice fun girl’. Apparently that’s up for debate because it was no easy task.
In the end I got 4 movie goers and 5 Tequila watchers – and the perfect 5 they were!
Here was my plan: we would meet at the theatre to watch the new movie “Julie & Julia” (which was recommended by Sista and I had wanted to see), then we would travel across the street to a trendy little bar and grill for some drinks and appetizers (and most likely at least a taste of dessert). My final list of movie people were Shell Bell and her friend (whom I’d never met before), Sista from work, along with her best friend Mammy (also from work), and myself. We would lose Mammy after the movie and gain Smiles and Cricket (one of my home church leaders) at the restaurant.
I waited patiently at the theatre for my posse to arrive, nervously wondering how this night would play out. Would everyone get along? Would we like the movie? What would we talk about? How awkward would it be? I wasn’t sure of any answers but at that point was so ‘in the middle of it’ that I didn’t have a chance to care too much. Before long we’d assembled into our seats for the movie and none of my ponderings mattered much. Everyone was introduced and comfortably awaiting the show.
I’m not sure how it happened but I ended up sitting at the end beside Shell Bell’s friend (who fit in well by the way!), it seemed odd to me that after all of this ‘Eva’s night out’ talk happened that I ended up beside a stranger and in the aisle – appropriate I suppose after all of my lessons on meeting new people. Miss T was good at conversation and I thought to myself how cool it was I had been able to assemble the group necessary (including someone new) before my deadline hit. On to the movie…
Sista had told me she had just seen the movie and that it totally reminded her of me and my little experiment. I decided to trust her. Wow! She was dead on. If you don’t know, the movie is about a 30 year old woman who wants to shake up her life by cooking through Julia Child’s cookbook in a year and blog about it. I don’t know how many times through out the movie that I found myself thinking ‘Oh my goodness that’s me!’ or ‘Wally has totally said that to me before!’ (Regarding my blog). It was THE perfect movie (at least in my opinion) for my night out with the girls. At one point a line was given by one of the actors and apparently 4 heads leaned over and peered all eight of their eyeballs at me – luckily I hadn’t noticed (it was the part about bloggers being narcissistic – I have no idea where they’d get that idea!).
I think it’s safe to say that everyone enjoyed the movie. We then strolled over to the restaurant for some eats and there would soon meet up with my other friends. It’s at this point I wondered if accomplishing #6 on my list would be a good idea. You see I was exhausted from doing nights that week and starving (as I hadn’t had supper). I wasn’t too sure Tequila was the answer to my problems, however Sista convinced me otherwise (I was getting the impression that perhaps it was going to be an experience not only for me, but everyone else to see my first Tequila). Sista had brought her camera and was prepared for the whole event, so I went ahead and ordered my first shot. It didn’t take long after our drinks were delivered that the camera started snapping away, we got pictures of me with everyone there (along with me drinking everyone else’s drinks), as well as a step by step picture story of me and my Tequila. (Wally saw the pictures later and was a bit stunned at what I boozer I appeared to be, I really wasn’t, I just enjoyed a tasting, that’s all!)
I have to say, I had a lot of opinions given to me about what the Tequila would taste like, how much I wouldn’t like it and where to stop at. Marshmallow didn’t even want me to try it, another friend of ours (a veteran drinker) said he couldn’t take more than 2 shots at a time of it, and yet others talked of the horrible flavour. I however didn’t understand what the fuss was about. The taste wasn’t bad (at least not compared to other stuff I’ve had), I definitely felt good after one, but I could’ve handled another without a strip show on my part, in the end I made it out of the experience no worse for the wear. (In fact, I think Tequila would be choice of beverage if ever having to live through a torturous family occasion).
Once we had our drinks and some yummy appetizers the evening seemed to sail along. I can’t say that I remember what the conversation was about. I think some was about my blog (as a few were readers), some was about past drinking experiences (or lack there of), and maybe a little about men. I find it amazing that you can put together a group of women (the right ones anyway) and simply find a common thread. Everyone I had talked to afterwards said they had a good time, and I do think that if we got together they would come out again. Though none of them expressed their fears before hand to me, most of them did confess that they wondered how things would go and what the night would be like. The part I LOVE about it all was that everyone just took a chance on their Friday night to come out and spend some time together. In some ways I wonder why some of them would risk the only free evening they would get off from their regular woman/mom/work duties to be with people they barely knew - but they did, and I am so grateful!
As I mentioned before, #12 turned out to be one of my favourite events on my ‘List’ by far. It definitely ended up feeling like MY night. How many of us get a night to celebrate ourselves? Everyone was gathered there knowing the premise of the night’s events and came out to be a part of it – I couldn’t be any more honoured to have people that would do that with and for me! (And it wasn’t even my birthday!!!)
I am one of those people that feel as though you should never wait for someone to throw you a party or give you a compliment before you realize how important you are, just know that you are. I know people that get upset that they don’t feel loved or cared for in life. They want someone to notice them and do something special for them. Of course my hope is that everyone feels special in life without these things but sometimes it’s nice to know you are valued in extra ways. I’ve had days where I sat and wondered why no one thought to do something for me or why I don’t have surprise parties planned on my birthday every year (every year does count you know). But one day I realized that if I waited around for that it may never happen – why not make your own party then? Why not throw your own party to celebrate living life? Unintentionally that’s what I felt like I did with this little outing and I LOVED it!!! I was surrounded by fun, amazing women that ‘got’ me and weren’t afraid to celebrate my crazy firsts that many of them had long past accomplished. The part I love the most is that they lived it with me and shared my excitement – does it get better than that? Someone sharing your joy – acting like it’s theirs too? Well in my humble opinion it doesn’t and for those reasons I will cherish my #12 and #6 on my list forever.
The next time you feel like giving yourself a gift, do what I did and you will find out you are loved and celebrated more than you could ever imagine … 4 friends, 1 stranger and 6 hours = amazing things!
BTW: I totally went out with Smiles and Sista after (since I had no curfew) to another place to share a quiet beverage (mine was only hot chocolate). We did more visiting and I didn’t get home ‘til 2am – great memories. Thanks gallies!
#6 – Have a shot of Tequila
Adventure Day 33 held one of the most memorable nights I would have in a very long time – it was going to be my girls night out, and a chance to try my first taste of tequila. What a night it would be!
As I mentioned early on in my 40 Day Adventure finding 5 friends to go out with was a huge challenge, or at least I was making it into one. You know how you have different groups of friends? Like old school friends, job friends, for me home church friends, maybe neighbourhood friends. Initially when I put this item on my list I thought ‘How hard could it be to invite 5 friends out for some fun? I have lots of friends – I can do this!’ … until I started making lists of invitees. That’s when it hit me. Girls aren’t always that easy to mix up.
Come on ladies, you know what I mean. We all have, and have been, the friend that was looking forward to hanging out with specific people that we know then we come to find out they’ve invited a bunch of other people they know. All of a sudden our quaint, safe gathering has turned into a block party and we have no one left to talk to. (Ok block party is a bit extreme but in the moment that’s what it feels like). We’ve also had those friends that we invite to a group function that feel like we have to ‘babysit’ the whole time because we know full well they aren’t the social butterfly we are (I’ll admit I’ve been this person too) and in the end we wonder if it was all that wise to have them join in.
You see this is the dilemma I faced, along with something else: I wasn’t too sure if I ended up inviting friends from all different areas of my life how they would all mix together. It’s kind of like menu planning … is it ok to serve grapes on a snack buffet along side of the chips and salsa dip? Is chocolate going to be an appropriate addition (of course chocolate can liven up any buffet)? What about orange juice being offered beside red wine? Will all of these various forms of indulgence compliment each other or completely clash and ruin a potentially great evening?
After creating and sorting through several different lists of people I had considered inviting to my fun night out, I had to finally just make a decision. Since my time was indeed running out and I was forced to choose, I felt no other option but to take a risk and mix up the party. I went on facebook one day, tired of trying to create ‘the perfect group’, and just started typing random names of people that came to mind that I thought may enjoy a chance to mingle and have fun with possible strangers. I invited around 11 people hoping that there might be five that would respond with a ‘yes’. I thought to myself ‘Surely it won’t be that hard to have 5 people out of this list that would want to come – I’m a nice fun girl’. Apparently that’s up for debate because it was no easy task.
In the end I got 4 movie goers and 5 Tequila watchers – and the perfect 5 they were!
Here was my plan: we would meet at the theatre to watch the new movie “Julie & Julia” (which was recommended by Sista and I had wanted to see), then we would travel across the street to a trendy little bar and grill for some drinks and appetizers (and most likely at least a taste of dessert). My final list of movie people were Shell Bell and her friend (whom I’d never met before), Sista from work, along with her best friend Mammy (also from work), and myself. We would lose Mammy after the movie and gain Smiles and Cricket (one of my home church leaders) at the restaurant.
I waited patiently at the theatre for my posse to arrive, nervously wondering how this night would play out. Would everyone get along? Would we like the movie? What would we talk about? How awkward would it be? I wasn’t sure of any answers but at that point was so ‘in the middle of it’ that I didn’t have a chance to care too much. Before long we’d assembled into our seats for the movie and none of my ponderings mattered much. Everyone was introduced and comfortably awaiting the show.
I’m not sure how it happened but I ended up sitting at the end beside Shell Bell’s friend (who fit in well by the way!), it seemed odd to me that after all of this ‘Eva’s night out’ talk happened that I ended up beside a stranger and in the aisle – appropriate I suppose after all of my lessons on meeting new people. Miss T was good at conversation and I thought to myself how cool it was I had been able to assemble the group necessary (including someone new) before my deadline hit. On to the movie…
Sista had told me she had just seen the movie and that it totally reminded her of me and my little experiment. I decided to trust her. Wow! She was dead on. If you don’t know, the movie is about a 30 year old woman who wants to shake up her life by cooking through Julia Child’s cookbook in a year and blog about it. I don’t know how many times through out the movie that I found myself thinking ‘Oh my goodness that’s me!’ or ‘Wally has totally said that to me before!’ (Regarding my blog). It was THE perfect movie (at least in my opinion) for my night out with the girls. At one point a line was given by one of the actors and apparently 4 heads leaned over and peered all eight of their eyeballs at me – luckily I hadn’t noticed (it was the part about bloggers being narcissistic – I have no idea where they’d get that idea!).
I think it’s safe to say that everyone enjoyed the movie. We then strolled over to the restaurant for some eats and there would soon meet up with my other friends. It’s at this point I wondered if accomplishing #6 on my list would be a good idea. You see I was exhausted from doing nights that week and starving (as I hadn’t had supper). I wasn’t too sure Tequila was the answer to my problems, however Sista convinced me otherwise (I was getting the impression that perhaps it was going to be an experience not only for me, but everyone else to see my first Tequila). Sista had brought her camera and was prepared for the whole event, so I went ahead and ordered my first shot. It didn’t take long after our drinks were delivered that the camera started snapping away, we got pictures of me with everyone there (along with me drinking everyone else’s drinks), as well as a step by step picture story of me and my Tequila. (Wally saw the pictures later and was a bit stunned at what I boozer I appeared to be, I really wasn’t, I just enjoyed a tasting, that’s all!)
I have to say, I had a lot of opinions given to me about what the Tequila would taste like, how much I wouldn’t like it and where to stop at. Marshmallow didn’t even want me to try it, another friend of ours (a veteran drinker) said he couldn’t take more than 2 shots at a time of it, and yet others talked of the horrible flavour. I however didn’t understand what the fuss was about. The taste wasn’t bad (at least not compared to other stuff I’ve had), I definitely felt good after one, but I could’ve handled another without a strip show on my part, in the end I made it out of the experience no worse for the wear. (In fact, I think Tequila would be choice of beverage if ever having to live through a torturous family occasion).
Once we had our drinks and some yummy appetizers the evening seemed to sail along. I can’t say that I remember what the conversation was about. I think some was about my blog (as a few were readers), some was about past drinking experiences (or lack there of), and maybe a little about men. I find it amazing that you can put together a group of women (the right ones anyway) and simply find a common thread. Everyone I had talked to afterwards said they had a good time, and I do think that if we got together they would come out again. Though none of them expressed their fears before hand to me, most of them did confess that they wondered how things would go and what the night would be like. The part I LOVE about it all was that everyone just took a chance on their Friday night to come out and spend some time together. In some ways I wonder why some of them would risk the only free evening they would get off from their regular woman/mom/work duties to be with people they barely knew - but they did, and I am so grateful!
As I mentioned before, #12 turned out to be one of my favourite events on my ‘List’ by far. It definitely ended up feeling like MY night. How many of us get a night to celebrate ourselves? Everyone was gathered there knowing the premise of the night’s events and came out to be a part of it – I couldn’t be any more honoured to have people that would do that with and for me! (And it wasn’t even my birthday!!!)
I am one of those people that feel as though you should never wait for someone to throw you a party or give you a compliment before you realize how important you are, just know that you are. I know people that get upset that they don’t feel loved or cared for in life. They want someone to notice them and do something special for them. Of course my hope is that everyone feels special in life without these things but sometimes it’s nice to know you are valued in extra ways. I’ve had days where I sat and wondered why no one thought to do something for me or why I don’t have surprise parties planned on my birthday every year (every year does count you know). But one day I realized that if I waited around for that it may never happen – why not make your own party then? Why not throw your own party to celebrate living life? Unintentionally that’s what I felt like I did with this little outing and I LOVED it!!! I was surrounded by fun, amazing women that ‘got’ me and weren’t afraid to celebrate my crazy firsts that many of them had long past accomplished. The part I love the most is that they lived it with me and shared my excitement – does it get better than that? Someone sharing your joy – acting like it’s theirs too? Well in my humble opinion it doesn’t and for those reasons I will cherish my #12 and #6 on my list forever.
The next time you feel like giving yourself a gift, do what I did and you will find out you are loved and celebrated more than you could ever imagine … 4 friends, 1 stranger and 6 hours = amazing things!
BTW: I totally went out with Smiles and Sista after (since I had no curfew) to another place to share a quiet beverage (mine was only hot chocolate). We did more visiting and I didn’t get home ‘til 2am – great memories. Thanks gallies!
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Update
I thought I'd better check in with my bloggy peeps and let you know that I have not disappeared, in fact quite the opposite!
I am diligently working on completing my 'List' by Friday, leaving me only 2 more days (one of which I am working a full shift). I have just realized how incredibly tired I am from all of my socializing and prioritizing of this 'List' leaving it difficult for me to find time to blog. Do not despair though (ok so I realize you won't be despairing) I am going to be blogging each of the rest of my days left of my adventure, it just won't be done for a couple of days.
Looking forward to sharing my experiences with you - I have been having a blast!
Cheers!
I am diligently working on completing my 'List' by Friday, leaving me only 2 more days (one of which I am working a full shift). I have just realized how incredibly tired I am from all of my socializing and prioritizing of this 'List' leaving it difficult for me to find time to blog. Do not despair though (ok so I realize you won't be despairing) I am going to be blogging each of the rest of my days left of my adventure, it just won't be done for a couple of days.
Looking forward to sharing my experiences with you - I have been having a blast!
Cheers!
Monday, August 24, 2009
Adventure Day 33 Part 1 - #16 Eat at a Vegan Restaurant
I was excited and a little nervous about this item on my list; it was definitely something that was new to me. You see I am a meat eater all the way. I don’t tend to eat mounds and mounds of it but I do love it! However a friend and I had talked about wanting to try this vegan restaurant we’d noticed down town so we set a date (actually a few as we kept cancelling on each other) and we did it!
I hopped on the bus that I usually take that just goes down one of the main streets in the city I live in and then jumped off when I was at my desired location. I had a bit of a walk and happened to arrive a bit early so I called my friend to confirm where we were meeting and then proceeded to wait patiently for her outside of the restaurant.
I stood there for only a few minutes when I noticed a man in his forties approaching me, I instantly knew what he wanted. ‘Could you spare some change, I am in an unfortunate circumstance ma’am’ he pleaded. As he held out his hands for any possible hope he might receive I immediately saw the state of them. They were twice the size they should have been, all of the skin on them was peeling off, and his fingernails were very thick, yellow and large.
Now usually I don’t carry any change with me at all but I remembered putting some of my laundry money in my wallet for a coffee outing I ended up not having to pay for. Without a word I quickly handed him two dollars in change (about a third of what I had) and he thanked me and moved on down the street.
I remember a ‘mission’ trip I went on in high school, to a city in another close by country, where the rich and poor don’t live far from each other (do they ever really?). There people didn’t hesitate to come beg for money with tall tales to tell, only minutes after you dropped it in their hands you saw them with booze in their hand or perhaps even with some drugs. You soon learned that if you wanted to feed the hungry just offer to buy them a sandwich or some dinner. After that experience I vowed never to give money to a beggar again … until recently.
To be quite honest giving money to someone who asks (presumably in need) is really not a difficult thing to do. They ask, you give. The transaction takes maybe 20 seconds – all depending on the availability of your wallet or response. Pretty easy deal. If you give without thinking you feel a warm and fuzzy deep inside and reflect ‘Well that felt good, I’m a decent person – I hope I don’t run into anymore people like this though, I need change for my coffee run’. On the contrary you may feel: ‘Why don’t you just get out and find a job you hobo, instead of guilting me into giving you my hard earned money – sheesh!’ I’ll admit I’ve felt both on different occasions, but I am beginning to wonder if one either is an appropriate response to have.
Obviously the latter shows clearly the state of our heart and seems initially wrong, but what about the warm and fuzzy feelings – why are they ok? Is it really a good thing for us to get a wonderful feeling for giving a few cents or dollars to help someone out? Why are we so proud of ourselves for merely throwing a few drops in the bucket that in the long term will most certainly not quench the thirst of the one in need? That’s hardly something to be proud of when we are only doing it to make ourselves feel good or get someone out of our way.
As the man walked away I found myself feeling ashamed of my reaction, which was to give him the minimum. Not only that but I didn’t even talk to him!!! How horrible. To be honest I think I was a bit stunned at his forwardness; I haven’t had an experience like this in a couple of years. I have, in my mind, been trying to prepare myself for this exact scenario so that I could take the chance to not give money but instead invite the person out for a meal and hear their story. I knew the second this man left I wanted desperately to do just that, but I was meeting a friend whom I hadn’t seen in a while, not only that but I was a woman and he a stranger to me. I’m not really sure where the lines of appropriateness blur but I know Wally wouldn’t be jumping up and down at the idea of me having lunch with a homeless man – any man for that matter. But does that mean I shouldn’t do it?
Getting back to my promise to never give money, I didn’t think I should give money to someone who was going to throw it away on an addiction or something that could hurt themselves – that would be a waste and I would be enabling right? I wouldn’t want to hurt someone. Wait a minute though, after deciding this within myself I had yet to offer to buy anyone lunch; rather I would ignore their pleas and go about my day – oh yeah, that’s so much better, isn’t it? Not only that but I was totally in denial if I believed that I myself didn’t throw a large amount of my money at my own addictions: food, useless craft supplies, sales on stuff that I didn’t even need or use – how is it ok for me to waste ‘my own’ money but not let someone else? I guess we would use the fact that we earned it as a defense. However by doing that we’ve just put ourselves above those with less and decided that it’s ok for us to have ‘appropriate addictions’ but not ok for them to have what we deem as ‘inappropriate addictions’. That’s hardly fair.
Pride is an ugly thing and separates us into imaginary worlds where we decide the rules and rights of everyone in it. So delusional, I think.
With my new reformed ideas you are probably wondering what exactly I think one should do in a situation such as this. Well, ideally I think we should take the time to sit down and share a meal with someone in need. Doing so knowing that they have a story and maybe they’ll share it, maybe you’ll learn a valuable lesson from it, or just make a new friend. Or maybe they won’t share a thing, and a ‘thank you’ may inevitably get lost in the exchange of needs, you part wondering why you did what you did, but in the end remind yourself that what you get out of it doesn’t really matter. If the only thing you take away is a realization of how great your life is – that’s enough.
I remember reading a book where the pastor was talking about working with street people and on their ‘mission’ (so to speak), they were handing out cigarettes. Their mission wasn’t to ‘convert the willing’ it was to reach out and show people love, understanding and willingness, to care with a humble gesture of friendship – like the cigarettes were a gift (hello, I’d be listening if you sat beside me with the most delicious freshly baked cookies – that’s my vice). A few years ago this idea would have completely offended me but since growing up a bit I am becoming more aware of how to relate to others that are different – by no means am I claiming to be good at it but I am at least trying to be awake to possibilities of how to connect with (no, not bribe) people. If someone comes to my door with a pamphlet about the benefits and truths of their belief system I promise you I will close the door in their face and only get more annoyed with every interaction I am forced to have with them, even those whom I may agree with. However, if I run into someone while I’m doing life and they meet me where I’m at (whether it’s in the ugliest place in town or with the most unattractive flaws) and just sit beside me, I am going to be much more willing to accept their love, friendship and maybe even thoughts on things.
Meeting this man reminded me of how easy it is to stay disconnected from the brokenness that’s in our world – so easy. I need to make an effort, first in my mind, then in my actions to get over myself and meet people (of all kinds) where they are at – I have such a long way to go. But at least I’m on the road …somewhere.
Ok you are probably wondering about the Vegan restaurant … well it was alright. I’d go back again, and order something different. I had a black been burger that exploded from the instant I bit down on it. It tasted ok but wasn’t my favourite – however I tried something new. The interesting thing I learned about the Vegan restaurant was how few vegetable dishes there were. Don’t get me wrong there were vegetables on the menu but they weren’t as abundant as I thought. Instead there were out of the ordinary bean plates and one recipe with a variety of seeds made into a pate – very different from my norm. I really do love trying new things, but the outcome of doing so always ends up teaching me something completely unexpected!
Last minute confession: I wrote this post before going to have my pedicure, here’s something that happened as I was leaving the pedi place: a man was standing outside of the storefront and asked my friend for money – I was thoroughly annoyed and glad I got away without having to be guilted into giving. I thought to myself: ‘Couldn’t he see I didn’t have time for this?’ and walked straight to my car.
I have further to go than I thought …
I hopped on the bus that I usually take that just goes down one of the main streets in the city I live in and then jumped off when I was at my desired location. I had a bit of a walk and happened to arrive a bit early so I called my friend to confirm where we were meeting and then proceeded to wait patiently for her outside of the restaurant.
I stood there for only a few minutes when I noticed a man in his forties approaching me, I instantly knew what he wanted. ‘Could you spare some change, I am in an unfortunate circumstance ma’am’ he pleaded. As he held out his hands for any possible hope he might receive I immediately saw the state of them. They were twice the size they should have been, all of the skin on them was peeling off, and his fingernails were very thick, yellow and large.
Now usually I don’t carry any change with me at all but I remembered putting some of my laundry money in my wallet for a coffee outing I ended up not having to pay for. Without a word I quickly handed him two dollars in change (about a third of what I had) and he thanked me and moved on down the street.
I remember a ‘mission’ trip I went on in high school, to a city in another close by country, where the rich and poor don’t live far from each other (do they ever really?). There people didn’t hesitate to come beg for money with tall tales to tell, only minutes after you dropped it in their hands you saw them with booze in their hand or perhaps even with some drugs. You soon learned that if you wanted to feed the hungry just offer to buy them a sandwich or some dinner. After that experience I vowed never to give money to a beggar again … until recently.
To be quite honest giving money to someone who asks (presumably in need) is really not a difficult thing to do. They ask, you give. The transaction takes maybe 20 seconds – all depending on the availability of your wallet or response. Pretty easy deal. If you give without thinking you feel a warm and fuzzy deep inside and reflect ‘Well that felt good, I’m a decent person – I hope I don’t run into anymore people like this though, I need change for my coffee run’. On the contrary you may feel: ‘Why don’t you just get out and find a job you hobo, instead of guilting me into giving you my hard earned money – sheesh!’ I’ll admit I’ve felt both on different occasions, but I am beginning to wonder if one either is an appropriate response to have.
Obviously the latter shows clearly the state of our heart and seems initially wrong, but what about the warm and fuzzy feelings – why are they ok? Is it really a good thing for us to get a wonderful feeling for giving a few cents or dollars to help someone out? Why are we so proud of ourselves for merely throwing a few drops in the bucket that in the long term will most certainly not quench the thirst of the one in need? That’s hardly something to be proud of when we are only doing it to make ourselves feel good or get someone out of our way.
As the man walked away I found myself feeling ashamed of my reaction, which was to give him the minimum. Not only that but I didn’t even talk to him!!! How horrible. To be honest I think I was a bit stunned at his forwardness; I haven’t had an experience like this in a couple of years. I have, in my mind, been trying to prepare myself for this exact scenario so that I could take the chance to not give money but instead invite the person out for a meal and hear their story. I knew the second this man left I wanted desperately to do just that, but I was meeting a friend whom I hadn’t seen in a while, not only that but I was a woman and he a stranger to me. I’m not really sure where the lines of appropriateness blur but I know Wally wouldn’t be jumping up and down at the idea of me having lunch with a homeless man – any man for that matter. But does that mean I shouldn’t do it?
Getting back to my promise to never give money, I didn’t think I should give money to someone who was going to throw it away on an addiction or something that could hurt themselves – that would be a waste and I would be enabling right? I wouldn’t want to hurt someone. Wait a minute though, after deciding this within myself I had yet to offer to buy anyone lunch; rather I would ignore their pleas and go about my day – oh yeah, that’s so much better, isn’t it? Not only that but I was totally in denial if I believed that I myself didn’t throw a large amount of my money at my own addictions: food, useless craft supplies, sales on stuff that I didn’t even need or use – how is it ok for me to waste ‘my own’ money but not let someone else? I guess we would use the fact that we earned it as a defense. However by doing that we’ve just put ourselves above those with less and decided that it’s ok for us to have ‘appropriate addictions’ but not ok for them to have what we deem as ‘inappropriate addictions’. That’s hardly fair.
Pride is an ugly thing and separates us into imaginary worlds where we decide the rules and rights of everyone in it. So delusional, I think.
With my new reformed ideas you are probably wondering what exactly I think one should do in a situation such as this. Well, ideally I think we should take the time to sit down and share a meal with someone in need. Doing so knowing that they have a story and maybe they’ll share it, maybe you’ll learn a valuable lesson from it, or just make a new friend. Or maybe they won’t share a thing, and a ‘thank you’ may inevitably get lost in the exchange of needs, you part wondering why you did what you did, but in the end remind yourself that what you get out of it doesn’t really matter. If the only thing you take away is a realization of how great your life is – that’s enough.
I remember reading a book where the pastor was talking about working with street people and on their ‘mission’ (so to speak), they were handing out cigarettes. Their mission wasn’t to ‘convert the willing’ it was to reach out and show people love, understanding and willingness, to care with a humble gesture of friendship – like the cigarettes were a gift (hello, I’d be listening if you sat beside me with the most delicious freshly baked cookies – that’s my vice). A few years ago this idea would have completely offended me but since growing up a bit I am becoming more aware of how to relate to others that are different – by no means am I claiming to be good at it but I am at least trying to be awake to possibilities of how to connect with (no, not bribe) people. If someone comes to my door with a pamphlet about the benefits and truths of their belief system I promise you I will close the door in their face and only get more annoyed with every interaction I am forced to have with them, even those whom I may agree with. However, if I run into someone while I’m doing life and they meet me where I’m at (whether it’s in the ugliest place in town or with the most unattractive flaws) and just sit beside me, I am going to be much more willing to accept their love, friendship and maybe even thoughts on things.
Meeting this man reminded me of how easy it is to stay disconnected from the brokenness that’s in our world – so easy. I need to make an effort, first in my mind, then in my actions to get over myself and meet people (of all kinds) where they are at – I have such a long way to go. But at least I’m on the road …somewhere.
Ok you are probably wondering about the Vegan restaurant … well it was alright. I’d go back again, and order something different. I had a black been burger that exploded from the instant I bit down on it. It tasted ok but wasn’t my favourite – however I tried something new. The interesting thing I learned about the Vegan restaurant was how few vegetable dishes there were. Don’t get me wrong there were vegetables on the menu but they weren’t as abundant as I thought. Instead there were out of the ordinary bean plates and one recipe with a variety of seeds made into a pate – very different from my norm. I really do love trying new things, but the outcome of doing so always ends up teaching me something completely unexpected!
Last minute confession: I wrote this post before going to have my pedicure, here’s something that happened as I was leaving the pedi place: a man was standing outside of the storefront and asked my friend for money – I was thoroughly annoyed and glad I got away without having to be guilted into giving. I thought to myself: ‘Couldn’t he see I didn’t have time for this?’ and walked straight to my car.
I have further to go than I thought …
Adventure Day 32 – #37 – Write down all of the compliments I get in a week
I will admit this item was very narcissistic on my part to put on my list but I did think there would be another interesting lesson to be learned somewhere in it.
I quickly realized that people don’t give out compliments very much. And honestly, I’m quite sure I am among the norm on this one but what a great thing to be brought to my attention.
Here are the compliments I remembered to write down over the past week:
From my boss:
‘You are someone that I can trust and a person with integrity that will do what she says’
(I’m paraphrasing a bit but that is the gist of what she said). This compliment was given during a one on one meeting with her about how things at work were going.
From Wally:
‘You’re eyes light up when you smile!’
‘You get funnier everyday.’
‘You are like a one person comedy extravaganza.’
‘You are like a shooting star – uncatchable, and I’m like the tortoise who can’t keep up.’ (This one hurt a little because he put himself down, but I’ll admit I liked being a shooting star).
From Shell Bell:
‘You are a strong woman’ given as a comment on the blog.
Those are my one week’s worth of compliments, however I am sure there were some that I didn’t catch or notice as we tend to sluff many off. In my opinion, we do this because we are taught not to be able to accept when someone compliments us. I’m not sure why this is. I suppose the fear is that we will grow a large head from it and become arrogant, but really if you are truly worthy of a compliment than I doubt this will happen. At least not from the compliment you are being given. Chances are someone is not going to be telling you how thoughtful you are if you are the type of person that will turn around and talk about how much you agree with them.
Sometimes I will go over and over in my head and out loud a certain compliment I have been given. I will recite it to Wally; I may write it down, anything to keep the memory of the little words of life from being taken away. I have gotten over not being able to take compliments (for the most part). I now often think to myself, when I get a compliment, ‘Yeah, you know I do look good in this dress’ or ‘I am funny sometimes’. This is not to say that I am completely self involved and think I am the best thing to hit life since Adam, but I do make an effort to accept kind words and sort of filter them to see where they are coming from and how those words can benefit me.
For example, when someone says you look steamin’ hot in that new dress you bought (the one you weren’t sure if it was too ‘over the top’ or not), you can do one of two things. You can accept it, think about it and decide ‘Yeah, I do look good and now it feels good to know that someone else thinks so too’. After this you go about your night with a bit more confidence, you come out of any existing shell you may carry around and perhaps reveal a tiny bit more of the ‘real you’. OR you could respond with ‘Oh, I just got it on sale and I’m not too sure about it myself – you’re just being nice, but thanks’. You know what I mean. You even say it in a little weak voice almost apologizing for making someone notice you. The rest of the night you continue to wonder if your dress is indeed ‘over the top’ and you bury yourself in the corner with the chips and dip.
I don’t know about anyone out there but I LOVE hearing people say good things about me (as long as I know they mean it, and even if they don’t sometimes I humor myself and pretend they did). I think learning how to accept a compliment has enabled me to build confidence within a once very timid and insecure girl. Another benefit to learning how to take compliments is that once you are able to receive them you are able to feel free to give them out, and meaningfully too.
I realized one day how amazing it felt when someone noticed something they liked about me and actually shared it with me and I thought ‘Why don’t I try to make more of an effort to let other people know when I admire something about them?’ The catch is to share things you appreciate with not only those you know but strangers as well. I know that there have been times when I’ve been at the grocery store or Wal-Mart and have commented on someone’s clothes or hair or something and I haven’t known them. Their reaction is so funny. They first look surprised, then sometimes they look a bit weirded out or shocked that a complete stranger is looking at them long enough to notice anything, finally they seem delighted at the comment. Then a magically instant bond occurs and you make a friend out of a stranger – what’s better than that!
Though the initial idea of this item on my list sounded very self centered I have relearned a very important lesson: it feels GREAT to hear the good things other people are thinking about you, when you chose to write them down they seem to come to a halt, it’s more than ok to accept a compliment, and it’s even better if you can break out and learn how to give them. On my next list I am going to challenge myself with this one more!!
I quickly realized that people don’t give out compliments very much. And honestly, I’m quite sure I am among the norm on this one but what a great thing to be brought to my attention.
Here are the compliments I remembered to write down over the past week:
From my boss:
‘You are someone that I can trust and a person with integrity that will do what she says’
(I’m paraphrasing a bit but that is the gist of what she said). This compliment was given during a one on one meeting with her about how things at work were going.
From Wally:
‘You’re eyes light up when you smile!’
‘You get funnier everyday.’
‘You are like a one person comedy extravaganza.’
‘You are like a shooting star – uncatchable, and I’m like the tortoise who can’t keep up.’ (This one hurt a little because he put himself down, but I’ll admit I liked being a shooting star).
From Shell Bell:
‘You are a strong woman’ given as a comment on the blog.
Those are my one week’s worth of compliments, however I am sure there were some that I didn’t catch or notice as we tend to sluff many off. In my opinion, we do this because we are taught not to be able to accept when someone compliments us. I’m not sure why this is. I suppose the fear is that we will grow a large head from it and become arrogant, but really if you are truly worthy of a compliment than I doubt this will happen. At least not from the compliment you are being given. Chances are someone is not going to be telling you how thoughtful you are if you are the type of person that will turn around and talk about how much you agree with them.
Sometimes I will go over and over in my head and out loud a certain compliment I have been given. I will recite it to Wally; I may write it down, anything to keep the memory of the little words of life from being taken away. I have gotten over not being able to take compliments (for the most part). I now often think to myself, when I get a compliment, ‘Yeah, you know I do look good in this dress’ or ‘I am funny sometimes’. This is not to say that I am completely self involved and think I am the best thing to hit life since Adam, but I do make an effort to accept kind words and sort of filter them to see where they are coming from and how those words can benefit me.
For example, when someone says you look steamin’ hot in that new dress you bought (the one you weren’t sure if it was too ‘over the top’ or not), you can do one of two things. You can accept it, think about it and decide ‘Yeah, I do look good and now it feels good to know that someone else thinks so too’. After this you go about your night with a bit more confidence, you come out of any existing shell you may carry around and perhaps reveal a tiny bit more of the ‘real you’. OR you could respond with ‘Oh, I just got it on sale and I’m not too sure about it myself – you’re just being nice, but thanks’. You know what I mean. You even say it in a little weak voice almost apologizing for making someone notice you. The rest of the night you continue to wonder if your dress is indeed ‘over the top’ and you bury yourself in the corner with the chips and dip.
I don’t know about anyone out there but I LOVE hearing people say good things about me (as long as I know they mean it, and even if they don’t sometimes I humor myself and pretend they did). I think learning how to accept a compliment has enabled me to build confidence within a once very timid and insecure girl. Another benefit to learning how to take compliments is that once you are able to receive them you are able to feel free to give them out, and meaningfully too.
I realized one day how amazing it felt when someone noticed something they liked about me and actually shared it with me and I thought ‘Why don’t I try to make more of an effort to let other people know when I admire something about them?’ The catch is to share things you appreciate with not only those you know but strangers as well. I know that there have been times when I’ve been at the grocery store or Wal-Mart and have commented on someone’s clothes or hair or something and I haven’t known them. Their reaction is so funny. They first look surprised, then sometimes they look a bit weirded out or shocked that a complete stranger is looking at them long enough to notice anything, finally they seem delighted at the comment. Then a magically instant bond occurs and you make a friend out of a stranger – what’s better than that!
Though the initial idea of this item on my list sounded very self centered I have relearned a very important lesson: it feels GREAT to hear the good things other people are thinking about you, when you chose to write them down they seem to come to a halt, it’s more than ok to accept a compliment, and it’s even better if you can break out and learn how to give them. On my next list I am going to challenge myself with this one more!!
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