So Friday turned out a bit differently than it was supposed to, but in a good way. I was supposed to be going in for my fourth consecutive day in a row at the house I work at. However the night before I had been chatting with other staff about the training they were going to and I remarked how I would love to join them and get a bit of a break (since I still had two big shifts after Friday that I would be in for). Don’t get me wrong, I really do love my job (most of the time) but sometimes it’s nice to get a break from the normal stuff, and the training was specialized for the one person we support and I knew I’d enjoy getting the ‘scoop’ and learning more.
I think 5 minutes after I mentioned that I would go it was all arranged that I would be joining them (keep in mind it was 10pm and my next shift was at 9am and they covered it!). I was excited. Not just because I was going to the training (that might be kinda sad), but that I could hang out and get to know my co-workers better.
You see I started working at this home 3 months ago now and it’s only been the past couple of weeks that I really have felt ‘safe’ to (as I put it before) come out of my shell. And come out of my shell I did! In fact sometimes I think I should’ve stayed in. I’m afraid when I get to know people that make me feel accepted completely (which doesn’t happen all that often) I REALLY am myself around them. I can sometimes have quick wit and a sharp tongue that some people don’t appreciate. So far at work I’ve been called a bitch twice, a spicy meatball, a firecracker, a peppercorn and I’m sure there are a few others I cann’t remember. I love it! I love that I can let go and just be and laugh and argue without really constantly being worried about what every one thinks. Can it get any better than that?
Onto my Friday. I went with the 3 full time staff – 2 guys and a gal (without my boss’ approval – oops!) to the training session. Well, I guess it was training. The guy in charge seemed less than my ideal, had an annoying laugh and was a tad on the arrogant side. More than once he wouldn’t let my co-workers and I finish our thoughts, and at one point he blatantly came out and dissed my program at College and said that DSWs didn’t come out of school with any real skills or at least didn’t use them or know how to. Well, he walked over the wrong chick’s feet – I didn’t really hold back my opinions and facts of what I had learned in school and as he challenged me (or tried to shut me down) I just spoke louder. Sometimes I don’t let things go – this was one of those times. Needless to say we had a lot to talk about during lunch and we did (over some Thai food at a new to me restaurant might I add).
As we ate, talked, laughed and hissed I looked around the table and realized that though I haven’t known the people I was sitting with for very long they indeed were beginning to feel like my family. What makes them feel more like a family than my home church or other friends I have? Well, like a family, this group has a lot in common: we all share the same boss (Big Mama), we joke painfully with each other, we disagree sometimes and argue others (I haven’t done a lot of this but I’m sure I will and I’m sure that it’ll be ok), only we could understand the dysfunctional house we live in too much of the time, we are all in relatively the same income bracket, we try to help each other out when we can, we cover for each other and we annoy each other – sounds like a family to me.
Now after listing all of these things I’m afraid I’ve made myself out to be more ‘in the family’ than perhaps I really am, I do realize my place. I just want to point out that I FEEL like I’m a part of the family there and I love it. I couldn’t imagine working with any other team. When I started out here it was more for the experience, but in a very short time it has turned into a place to live rather than visit.
When I wrote #23 down on my list I really and truly had no idea how I was going to do this, I just knew that I wanted a bigger family. I don’t think you can strategize how to actually ‘expand your family’. However I do think that you can have an idea of what you want out of life, the kind of person you want to be, and the people you want to be surrounded by. If you are open to the possibilities of what the definition of something could be, you may actually already have (or be in the process of getting what you are looking for) and not even realize it.
A lot of people complain about their families (I am one of these) and even get to a point where they feel sorry for themselves because they don’t have supportive, involved, and functional parents and/or siblings in their lives. But the thing is: family is whoever you let in. Family is who you are surrounded by in the hard times. They are the ones who have your back, annoy the hell out of you, make you laugh, believe in you, appreciate who you are and need you too.
By my definition anyone can be your family, you just have to let them. I have my welcome mat out and can’t wait to see who’s coming for Christmas!
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Saturday, August 1, 2009
More stuff you didn’t know about me …
I read my own blog a lot – I mean a lot. I don’t know what it is that attracts me so much but I love reading it. Maybe I’m a narcissist.
I worry that when new people start reading the blog they'll start with a post that isn't that good and never read it again - I don't know why I care.
I love being regular (I’ll let you take that where ever you’d like)
I believe if you are a man that is a Massage Therapist it doesn’t matter whether you have a job, a car, money, a good personality, or if you are ugly – honey if you got the hands, you got it all.
I’ve only recently learned what grace is and how we are supposed to live it out – I’m trying to do better.
I love the smell of tobacco, but hate the smell of cigars
I’m a total morning person
I’m over punctual
I had what I thought was a birthmark on my chest since I was born, when I was 22 my doctor told me otherwise – it got removed. (My parents always told me they dropped a box of Pampers on me when I was an infant – the doc thought that was funny, I didn’t when I found out what it really was).
I have absolutely no problem walking around our apartment half naked. We’re 7 floors up and face a field – could life get any better?
The only men I’ve ever had hit on me were post middle aged married men – not that I need to be hit on but why the demographic?
My mother in law thinks I remind her of Uma Thurman. Wally thinks I remind him of Joan Cusack. I’ll take my mother in law’s opinion over my husband’s this time.
I love Sandra Bullock. I like Hugh Grant. I can’t stand Bette Midler.
Wally tells me I dance like a white person – that’s ok with me. I am a white person.
I’ve literally lived through a tornado – maybe I’ll tell you about it sometime.
I’ve only ever broken one bone in my body – it was my toe, someone stepped on it while playing ‘Fruit basket’. It’s a fierce game.
Speaking of games, I’m not really competitive at all. And I hate, I mean HATE, when people read me the rules before playing the game. I’d rather read them each one at a time as we play – or just make them up.
I love good surprises, but I’m always on to them – I’m turning 30 next year, I’ll leave it at that.
I LOVE having birthdays. I think people that get all uptight about getting older are clearly stupid – I hope they get weeded out at the pearly gates for not appreciating life.
I LOVE the smell of the doggy poop bags we have – a mixture of marshmallows and vanilla – mmmmm.
I worry that when new people start reading the blog they'll start with a post that isn't that good and never read it again - I don't know why I care.
I love being regular (I’ll let you take that where ever you’d like)
I believe if you are a man that is a Massage Therapist it doesn’t matter whether you have a job, a car, money, a good personality, or if you are ugly – honey if you got the hands, you got it all.
I’ve only recently learned what grace is and how we are supposed to live it out – I’m trying to do better.
I love the smell of tobacco, but hate the smell of cigars
I’m a total morning person
I’m over punctual
I had what I thought was a birthmark on my chest since I was born, when I was 22 my doctor told me otherwise – it got removed. (My parents always told me they dropped a box of Pampers on me when I was an infant – the doc thought that was funny, I didn’t when I found out what it really was).
I have absolutely no problem walking around our apartment half naked. We’re 7 floors up and face a field – could life get any better?
The only men I’ve ever had hit on me were post middle aged married men – not that I need to be hit on but why the demographic?
My mother in law thinks I remind her of Uma Thurman. Wally thinks I remind him of Joan Cusack. I’ll take my mother in law’s opinion over my husband’s this time.
I love Sandra Bullock. I like Hugh Grant. I can’t stand Bette Midler.
Wally tells me I dance like a white person – that’s ok with me. I am a white person.
I’ve literally lived through a tornado – maybe I’ll tell you about it sometime.
I’ve only ever broken one bone in my body – it was my toe, someone stepped on it while playing ‘Fruit basket’. It’s a fierce game.
Speaking of games, I’m not really competitive at all. And I hate, I mean HATE, when people read me the rules before playing the game. I’d rather read them each one at a time as we play – or just make them up.
I love good surprises, but I’m always on to them – I’m turning 30 next year, I’ll leave it at that.
I LOVE having birthdays. I think people that get all uptight about getting older are clearly stupid – I hope they get weeded out at the pearly gates for not appreciating life.
I LOVE the smell of the doggy poop bags we have – a mixture of marshmallows and vanilla – mmmmm.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Adventure Day 11 - Observations at the park today
I saw a woman that was with her kids (boy and girl, probably around 10, 8), doing push ups together on a park bench - that's strange.
I saw not one but two caterpillars hanging between a tree and the ground spinning their cocoons – very cool.
I got a few minutes into my walk and thought: ‘I have to go pee. Oh it’s probably a false alarm’. I didn’t go.
I noticed peoples’ bums. There are all kinds out there. Floppy ones, jiggly ones, flat ones, bumpy ones, stiff ones, sculpted ones, oddly shaped ones, and I wondered … what is mine? And then I thought again … I probably don’t want to know.
I nearly had a head on collision with an older couple that, for some reason, were walking on the wrong side of the path and wouldn’t move – neither would I.
I got passed by a tall, blond, thin yet muscular, tanned chick on roller blades - I sent her hate vibes.
I noticed a man at the park intentionally walking backwards – why I ask? I’m not sure but it was no fluke, I saw him there doing the same thing last time I went.
I decided I hate ‘passing’ people on the trail – it seems rude, and takes a while to do. The whole time I’m wondering if they’re analyzing my butt like I was analyzing theirs.
It occurred to me that I drove 10 minutes to get exercise walking through the park – that doesn’t’ really seem to make sense.
Some one passed me who smelled great. I wondered how and was jealous, considering I was melting in sweat.
I never know when to turn around on the path and go back to my car. I always look at my watch and see that 20 minutes have gone by and think I should return, but never do because time goes by so fast. 5 minutes after I finally do turn around to go back, I wonder if I’m going to make it home.
By the time I got halfway through my walk I realized my ‘false alarm’ wasn’t false at all – dang!
I realized today that as much as I love being with people, I love being alone too.
I like the park.
I saw not one but two caterpillars hanging between a tree and the ground spinning their cocoons – very cool.
I got a few minutes into my walk and thought: ‘I have to go pee. Oh it’s probably a false alarm’. I didn’t go.
I noticed peoples’ bums. There are all kinds out there. Floppy ones, jiggly ones, flat ones, bumpy ones, stiff ones, sculpted ones, oddly shaped ones, and I wondered … what is mine? And then I thought again … I probably don’t want to know.
I nearly had a head on collision with an older couple that, for some reason, were walking on the wrong side of the path and wouldn’t move – neither would I.
I got passed by a tall, blond, thin yet muscular, tanned chick on roller blades - I sent her hate vibes.
I noticed a man at the park intentionally walking backwards – why I ask? I’m not sure but it was no fluke, I saw him there doing the same thing last time I went.
I decided I hate ‘passing’ people on the trail – it seems rude, and takes a while to do. The whole time I’m wondering if they’re analyzing my butt like I was analyzing theirs.
It occurred to me that I drove 10 minutes to get exercise walking through the park – that doesn’t’ really seem to make sense.
Some one passed me who smelled great. I wondered how and was jealous, considering I was melting in sweat.
I never know when to turn around on the path and go back to my car. I always look at my watch and see that 20 minutes have gone by and think I should return, but never do because time goes by so fast. 5 minutes after I finally do turn around to go back, I wonder if I’m going to make it home.
By the time I got halfway through my walk I realized my ‘false alarm’ wasn’t false at all – dang!
I realized today that as much as I love being with people, I love being alone too.
I like the park.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Adventure Day 10 – Crossing the line
Yesterday was Day10 (and I’ve decided that depending on how I feel I may post my days the next day but when I write it will be about that specific day. Oh I’m confused, oh well).
Though the weather was not very co-operative yesterday I had something to look forward to, a lunch date with a longtime friend and a new blog friend. I have to say right away that it feels weird to write something about people that I know will read this, but I will carry on.
My long time friend from a far away land (now) was in the country for a visit with family and she was kind enough to make time for lunch with me. She was the first person that I invited to read my blog and has diligently followed it and been an encouragement to me through out. During this time she has also done me the favor of sharing the blog (with my permission and prodding) with a couple of her friends. Though this blog is anonymous I thought that was fine because who she told wouldn’t really know who was writing and I wouldn’t have to worry about anything. Anyway, one of the people she invited, her sis-in-law, caught on who the author was and I was discovered. This ended up becoming a good thing because she actually has enjoyed the blog. So when my long time friend came for her visit she asked if I wanted to share our lunch date also with her sis-in-law (or perhaps they were sharing their date with me, it’s doesn’t really matter).
I generally look forward to meeting new people (although I have met her, I didn’t really know her), I love connecting and all that stuff, but I have to admit, it was a little scary to cross the borders of anonymity with this. Not at all because of who this person was, just because I do try to write very honestly, sometimes deeper, some times just light and funny, but all of it is from my heart. It’s weird to realize (for real) that someone you don’t really know knows you, like the deep down honest part of you, only from reading your thoughts. It’s kind of a strange feeling. It was even kind of weird when I met my close friend at first. She even said herself: ‘This is kind of weird, I feel like you are a totally different person’. Though there was no disclaimers afterwards I am trusting it’s an ok different.
Now as these two ladies are reading this I don’t want to freak them out. I had an awesome time with them and so enjoyed getting to know my new friend (and yes, I believe we will be friends – we’re even going for coffee next week), but I thought it was interesting to interact with blog followers outside of blog world, even the ones I already knew. It makes me realize how different writing your thoughts and reactions to life can be over just experiencing them or talking about them with someone.
I think I have already mentioned that I have completed #8 – inviting 5 friends to read my blog. This of course totally destroys the idea of anonymity I try to keep. I chose carefully and I even have invited a couple of extra people to read too. This may make you wonder why I am even trying to be anonymous. Well for a few reasons. First, it’s kind of fun having made up names for myself and others - there is meaning behind almost every name I give to people, I love that. Second, by me thinking no one knows me I am left completely vulnerable and honest, this is something I feel the world needs more of, even if it means people seeing my unending list of flaws. I know that when I meet someone who lives honestly I feel an immediate connection and sense of friendship, even if I only chat for a few minutes and never again, I feel filled – what a gift. I also change names and stuff out of respect for those I mention (my family and friends), I will end up sharing more of my story as time passes and in that there are other stories. I want to be careful to tell both with some sense of dignity, I know right now that I won’t do this well all of the time but I will at least try.
There you have it! I didn’t strike anything off of my list technically but I think that crossing the borders of anonymity of this blog should count. As I invited another very new friend and co-worker last night I told her that she should only read it if she wanted to see me naked – of course I meant it metaphorically.
Hmmmm … maybe I should rename the blog to ‘A Nude Dimension’
Too cheesy?
Don’t answer that.
Though the weather was not very co-operative yesterday I had something to look forward to, a lunch date with a longtime friend and a new blog friend. I have to say right away that it feels weird to write something about people that I know will read this, but I will carry on.
My long time friend from a far away land (now) was in the country for a visit with family and she was kind enough to make time for lunch with me. She was the first person that I invited to read my blog and has diligently followed it and been an encouragement to me through out. During this time she has also done me the favor of sharing the blog (with my permission and prodding) with a couple of her friends. Though this blog is anonymous I thought that was fine because who she told wouldn’t really know who was writing and I wouldn’t have to worry about anything. Anyway, one of the people she invited, her sis-in-law, caught on who the author was and I was discovered. This ended up becoming a good thing because she actually has enjoyed the blog. So when my long time friend came for her visit she asked if I wanted to share our lunch date also with her sis-in-law (or perhaps they were sharing their date with me, it’s doesn’t really matter).
I generally look forward to meeting new people (although I have met her, I didn’t really know her), I love connecting and all that stuff, but I have to admit, it was a little scary to cross the borders of anonymity with this. Not at all because of who this person was, just because I do try to write very honestly, sometimes deeper, some times just light and funny, but all of it is from my heart. It’s weird to realize (for real) that someone you don’t really know knows you, like the deep down honest part of you, only from reading your thoughts. It’s kind of a strange feeling. It was even kind of weird when I met my close friend at first. She even said herself: ‘This is kind of weird, I feel like you are a totally different person’. Though there was no disclaimers afterwards I am trusting it’s an ok different.
Now as these two ladies are reading this I don’t want to freak them out. I had an awesome time with them and so enjoyed getting to know my new friend (and yes, I believe we will be friends – we’re even going for coffee next week), but I thought it was interesting to interact with blog followers outside of blog world, even the ones I already knew. It makes me realize how different writing your thoughts and reactions to life can be over just experiencing them or talking about them with someone.
I think I have already mentioned that I have completed #8 – inviting 5 friends to read my blog. This of course totally destroys the idea of anonymity I try to keep. I chose carefully and I even have invited a couple of extra people to read too. This may make you wonder why I am even trying to be anonymous. Well for a few reasons. First, it’s kind of fun having made up names for myself and others - there is meaning behind almost every name I give to people, I love that. Second, by me thinking no one knows me I am left completely vulnerable and honest, this is something I feel the world needs more of, even if it means people seeing my unending list of flaws. I know that when I meet someone who lives honestly I feel an immediate connection and sense of friendship, even if I only chat for a few minutes and never again, I feel filled – what a gift. I also change names and stuff out of respect for those I mention (my family and friends), I will end up sharing more of my story as time passes and in that there are other stories. I want to be careful to tell both with some sense of dignity, I know right now that I won’t do this well all of the time but I will at least try.
There you have it! I didn’t strike anything off of my list technically but I think that crossing the borders of anonymity of this blog should count. As I invited another very new friend and co-worker last night I told her that she should only read it if she wanted to see me naked – of course I meant it metaphorically.
Hmmmm … maybe I should rename the blog to ‘A Nude Dimension’
Too cheesy?
Don’t answer that.
More fun times at work…
Guy got a new bed today and this is the conversation we shared right after we got into it for the first time to sleep:
“Oh, I love my new bed. It’s so soft and comfy. Eva touch it – it’s soft.”
I go to the farthest place from him and quickly bounce my body off of the edge of the bed and say: “ Yup, it’s a pretty soft bed.”
“Oh I love my bed, I’m so glad I got it. It’s so great; I wish you could lay down right beside me Eva.” (I’m quite positive he wasn’t being inappropriate though)
I say: “Uh, yeah … let’s pray … good night Guy.”
Guy and I are watching a movie. He notices a female on screen and says: “That girl is hot, don’t you think Eva?”
“Um, I’m not really into chicks Guy”
“That’s because you’re a girl right?”
“Right.”
We’re on a van ride, with me driving, another newer (but older) staff is in the passenger seat and Guy is sitting behind her. Guy begins to massage her neck (something we should stop him from doing), she doesn’t seem to know this. She says how much she enjoys it. Guy remarks snidely with “Eva doesn’t like touchy” then stares me down with an evil eye.
A minute or so into the massage (from above) Lil t (the staff) continues to enjoy the massage and Guy says “I knew you’d like this Lil t”
Lil t says “Oh really, how did you know that?”
Guy says “Because you are that kind of woman.”
The other day at work before the for mentioned van ride, I am sitting in the drivers’ seat waiting for the other staff to come, the music is on. Guy says “Hey Eva, do you want to learn how to ‘rock the van’?”
My mind is clearly not where his is and I am thinking ‘huh?’
He quickly cranks the Abba that’s playing, puts on the four ways and then literally gets out and rocks the van.
One day Guy and I were outside shooting hoops. A teenage girl dressed in tight fitting summer apparel walks by us. Guy’s eyes practically hit the drive way and serious drooling begins to pour out of his mouth and he starts to loudly say “Mama Cita” (I’m not sure the spelling but I think it’s Spanish) over and over and is directly looking at her. Guy has been told that this means hot or pretty lady. I had to hit a gong to knock him back to reality and remind him that is was ok to think these things in his head but it wasn’t appropriate to slather them all over the drive way – the girl could have drowned in his drool man!
I love my job!
“Oh, I love my new bed. It’s so soft and comfy. Eva touch it – it’s soft.”
I go to the farthest place from him and quickly bounce my body off of the edge of the bed and say: “ Yup, it’s a pretty soft bed.”
“Oh I love my bed, I’m so glad I got it. It’s so great; I wish you could lay down right beside me Eva.” (I’m quite positive he wasn’t being inappropriate though)
I say: “Uh, yeah … let’s pray … good night Guy.”
Guy and I are watching a movie. He notices a female on screen and says: “That girl is hot, don’t you think Eva?”
“Um, I’m not really into chicks Guy”
“That’s because you’re a girl right?”
“Right.”
We’re on a van ride, with me driving, another newer (but older) staff is in the passenger seat and Guy is sitting behind her. Guy begins to massage her neck (something we should stop him from doing), she doesn’t seem to know this. She says how much she enjoys it. Guy remarks snidely with “Eva doesn’t like touchy” then stares me down with an evil eye.
A minute or so into the massage (from above) Lil t (the staff) continues to enjoy the massage and Guy says “I knew you’d like this Lil t”
Lil t says “Oh really, how did you know that?”
Guy says “Because you are that kind of woman.”
The other day at work before the for mentioned van ride, I am sitting in the drivers’ seat waiting for the other staff to come, the music is on. Guy says “Hey Eva, do you want to learn how to ‘rock the van’?”
My mind is clearly not where his is and I am thinking ‘huh?’
He quickly cranks the Abba that’s playing, puts on the four ways and then literally gets out and rocks the van.
One day Guy and I were outside shooting hoops. A teenage girl dressed in tight fitting summer apparel walks by us. Guy’s eyes practically hit the drive way and serious drooling begins to pour out of his mouth and he starts to loudly say “Mama Cita” (I’m not sure the spelling but I think it’s Spanish) over and over and is directly looking at her. Guy has been told that this means hot or pretty lady. I had to hit a gong to knock him back to reality and remind him that is was ok to think these things in his head but it wasn’t appropriate to slather them all over the drive way – the girl could have drowned in his drool man!
I love my job!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Adventure Day 9 – Part 2
#30 – Visit someone I haven’t seen in at least 6 months to a year
When I made up this list I have to admit that a several of the items were written with me already having an idea of what I wanted to do or who I would see, etc. #30 I wasn’t really too sure about. Who haven’t I seen in 6 months to a year that I’d WANT to visit with? I’m a firm believer in that if you really want to do something or see someone you make the time. So who hadn’t I made the time for? Hmmmm. Then it struck me, I knew who I was going to get in touch with - my cousin Aims.
Aims and I grew up with very little in common. She was a part of Pop’s family (who we didn’t have a lot to do with growing up - they were into the sauce a lot and a bit dysfunctional, well more than us, or so we think). Aims is only a little over a year older than myself and a big gal, in every way. She is tall, sturdy, has a big voice, with big attitude, and a great big heart too go along. She makes me laugh (which is saying something) just being herself. I love Aims.
Aims and I come from as different backgrounds as you could possibly imagine. Her immediate family didn’t go to church – we did, her dad (in her words) was an alcoholic – mine didn’t even drink, profanities were abundantly used (not necessarily out of anger, but instead often just as adjectives, nouns or verbs) – we got our mouths washed out with soap if we even whispered a ‘bad’ word, she was loud – I was quiet, and the list could go on. Needless to say during our growing up years Aims and I didn’t have much at all to do with each other – we were from different worlds.
However that changed quickly in 2002. That was the year my aunt (on the other side of the family) passed away and then my grandmother on Pop’s side found out she was battling cancer and refused to die anywhere but at home on the farm. It was fall time when my one aunt called one day and said she was trying to set up a schedule for people to cover taking care of Granny (that’s what we called her) 24 hours a day. She wanted to know if I had any extra time to do this. I lived 20 minutes away but she didn’t’ live far from where I worked much of the time so I ‘signed’ up for three half days a week – Monday afternoon, Wednesday morning and Friday afternoon.
I briefly mentioned before on the blog that I recommended taking care of a dying loved one, if you have the chance. This is why…
Granny was ill and needed our care for a good two months. From October until the following December (13th to be specific) her family committed to making sure she was as comfortable as possible in her home during her last days. This wasn’t always easy, as she got a little moody with some people (her only daughter for sure) but was a sweetie to others (me) – however we did it. We keep a little journal to track her days, funny things that happened, notes for each other (some very silly), and visitors that stopped by. One time while I was on ‘shift’ 3 older people had come by to see her and so I had them wait in the kitchen while I checked with Granny to see if she was up to company. I had forgotten that we kept a monitor in the bedroom to listen to her in the kitchen (where the people were waiting) and when I asked if she wanted to see them, after describing who they were, she said ‘Oh no dear, I don’t want to visit with them, they never know when to leave.’ When I got back to the kitchen to tell them that she wasn’t up to it they were practically already out the door and in their car!
During these two months I not only had an opportunity to care for my grandmother, but I got the chance to get to know my pop’s side of the family. Now I will say first off - not all of them are my choice for a good time on a Saturday night, but in the midst of what was going on I was able to bond with many of them for the first time. Aims was one of them. Aims usually came in Friday evenings when I was leaving. At first we’d just say our hellos and goodbyes and that was it. After time went on I would stay a bit longer and hear about what was going on in her life and I’d share a bit about mine. We’d trade funny stories from the week and laugh together.
I want to remind you that Aims has a giant heart – she’d do anything to help, but at the same time she has a sailor’s mouth (and it was worse back then). At that time I was just ‘coming to’ about life, my faith and all that stuff and she taught me a lot. As we began to get to know one another I learned quickly that it doesn’t always matter if what comes out of someone’s mouth could make your ears turn green and fall off – if they have a heart of gold you don’t notice so much (or sometime’s at all), but you have to stick around long enough to notice.
Aims and I were only beginning to get to know each other when Granny finally passed. A few days after she was gone I was having a difficult time. Not so much with the loss of Granny per say (as she was ill and it was time), but with the loss of community I felt with my family for the first time. We were so used to seeing each other so often, and sharing such an intimate experience, that for it to be over all of a sudden was hard. My first would be ‘shift’ after Granny had passed I called up Aims (which was waaay out there, we hadn’t gotten ‘phone talking’ close). I just told her that I missed everything, blah, blah, blah and we talked for an hour. From then on a friendship developed and we grew to be great friends.
So how did she get to be my #30? Well life happens, people’s lives change. She got married (Wally and I were the only attendants in the very small and simple wedding that was held in Granny’s yard the summer after she died), had a daughter, and well unfortunately after that it’s hard to keep up, probably more because Wally and I don’t have kids and there was generally less to relate to (no matter how hard you try sometimes). I missed Aims and our conversations about our dysfunctional family, her stories about work (she took over much of my cleaning business when I went back to school) and just laughing. I love to laugh.
Last night wasn’t some fairytale moment of two friends coming together and rejoicing that their kindred spirits were reunited again. No. But it was 2 ½ hours of reconnecting (my favourite thing in the world to do), laughing (yay!!), updating and realizing that we need to see more of each other. Will that actually happen? Who knows? But I will keep her on my ‘catch up’ list to be sure and keep track of as time goes on – even if our ‘coffee times’ are sporadic. In the end, I will always be grateful for who Aims is, and most of all the experience we shared together – our grandmother always wanted us to be friends.
When I made up this list I have to admit that a several of the items were written with me already having an idea of what I wanted to do or who I would see, etc. #30 I wasn’t really too sure about. Who haven’t I seen in 6 months to a year that I’d WANT to visit with? I’m a firm believer in that if you really want to do something or see someone you make the time. So who hadn’t I made the time for? Hmmmm. Then it struck me, I knew who I was going to get in touch with - my cousin Aims.
Aims and I grew up with very little in common. She was a part of Pop’s family (who we didn’t have a lot to do with growing up - they were into the sauce a lot and a bit dysfunctional, well more than us, or so we think). Aims is only a little over a year older than myself and a big gal, in every way. She is tall, sturdy, has a big voice, with big attitude, and a great big heart too go along. She makes me laugh (which is saying something) just being herself. I love Aims.
Aims and I come from as different backgrounds as you could possibly imagine. Her immediate family didn’t go to church – we did, her dad (in her words) was an alcoholic – mine didn’t even drink, profanities were abundantly used (not necessarily out of anger, but instead often just as adjectives, nouns or verbs) – we got our mouths washed out with soap if we even whispered a ‘bad’ word, she was loud – I was quiet, and the list could go on. Needless to say during our growing up years Aims and I didn’t have much at all to do with each other – we were from different worlds.
However that changed quickly in 2002. That was the year my aunt (on the other side of the family) passed away and then my grandmother on Pop’s side found out she was battling cancer and refused to die anywhere but at home on the farm. It was fall time when my one aunt called one day and said she was trying to set up a schedule for people to cover taking care of Granny (that’s what we called her) 24 hours a day. She wanted to know if I had any extra time to do this. I lived 20 minutes away but she didn’t’ live far from where I worked much of the time so I ‘signed’ up for three half days a week – Monday afternoon, Wednesday morning and Friday afternoon.
I briefly mentioned before on the blog that I recommended taking care of a dying loved one, if you have the chance. This is why…
Granny was ill and needed our care for a good two months. From October until the following December (13th to be specific) her family committed to making sure she was as comfortable as possible in her home during her last days. This wasn’t always easy, as she got a little moody with some people (her only daughter for sure) but was a sweetie to others (me) – however we did it. We keep a little journal to track her days, funny things that happened, notes for each other (some very silly), and visitors that stopped by. One time while I was on ‘shift’ 3 older people had come by to see her and so I had them wait in the kitchen while I checked with Granny to see if she was up to company. I had forgotten that we kept a monitor in the bedroom to listen to her in the kitchen (where the people were waiting) and when I asked if she wanted to see them, after describing who they were, she said ‘Oh no dear, I don’t want to visit with them, they never know when to leave.’ When I got back to the kitchen to tell them that she wasn’t up to it they were practically already out the door and in their car!
During these two months I not only had an opportunity to care for my grandmother, but I got the chance to get to know my pop’s side of the family. Now I will say first off - not all of them are my choice for a good time on a Saturday night, but in the midst of what was going on I was able to bond with many of them for the first time. Aims was one of them. Aims usually came in Friday evenings when I was leaving. At first we’d just say our hellos and goodbyes and that was it. After time went on I would stay a bit longer and hear about what was going on in her life and I’d share a bit about mine. We’d trade funny stories from the week and laugh together.
I want to remind you that Aims has a giant heart – she’d do anything to help, but at the same time she has a sailor’s mouth (and it was worse back then). At that time I was just ‘coming to’ about life, my faith and all that stuff and she taught me a lot. As we began to get to know one another I learned quickly that it doesn’t always matter if what comes out of someone’s mouth could make your ears turn green and fall off – if they have a heart of gold you don’t notice so much (or sometime’s at all), but you have to stick around long enough to notice.
Aims and I were only beginning to get to know each other when Granny finally passed. A few days after she was gone I was having a difficult time. Not so much with the loss of Granny per say (as she was ill and it was time), but with the loss of community I felt with my family for the first time. We were so used to seeing each other so often, and sharing such an intimate experience, that for it to be over all of a sudden was hard. My first would be ‘shift’ after Granny had passed I called up Aims (which was waaay out there, we hadn’t gotten ‘phone talking’ close). I just told her that I missed everything, blah, blah, blah and we talked for an hour. From then on a friendship developed and we grew to be great friends.
So how did she get to be my #30? Well life happens, people’s lives change. She got married (Wally and I were the only attendants in the very small and simple wedding that was held in Granny’s yard the summer after she died), had a daughter, and well unfortunately after that it’s hard to keep up, probably more because Wally and I don’t have kids and there was generally less to relate to (no matter how hard you try sometimes). I missed Aims and our conversations about our dysfunctional family, her stories about work (she took over much of my cleaning business when I went back to school) and just laughing. I love to laugh.
Last night wasn’t some fairytale moment of two friends coming together and rejoicing that their kindred spirits were reunited again. No. But it was 2 ½ hours of reconnecting (my favourite thing in the world to do), laughing (yay!!), updating and realizing that we need to see more of each other. Will that actually happen? Who knows? But I will keep her on my ‘catch up’ list to be sure and keep track of as time goes on – even if our ‘coffee times’ are sporadic. In the end, I will always be grateful for who Aims is, and most of all the experience we shared together – our grandmother always wanted us to be friends.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Adventure Day 9 – Part 1
I am going to post today in two parts. Mostly because I know that I won’t have time to post after completing #30 (which I’ll be doing tonight) and I’m hoping I’ll have stuff to say after that one. Instead I will post some now and then some tomorrow.
Today seemed as if it was going to be another day of around the house stuff, much like yesterday. I got up, felt overwhelmed at the idea of organizing our home, and decided I would do #9 (and actually # 21 – I just realized that I had it down twice, I suppose that means I will have to accomplish two tasks I’ve been avoiding). The chosen, or should I say avoided, task was to wash the windows – inside and out. I have been reasoning my way out of doing this for a year now. This seems a bit crazy considering we’ve only lived here for 1 year and 5 weeks. Oh well, today was finally the day.
I got out my bucket and filled it with warm soapy water (sunlight dish soap works great!), got an old cloth and dish towel and off I went. It took me all of 45 minutes (thank you air conditioners for making it impossible to take out all of the windows). Then I was done. The end.
It’s at this point that I wonder why the heck I’ve put off this chore for so long. It certainly wasn’t time consuming, and to be honest not all that difficult. So why have I been running from it like it was the plague? I’m not real sure and I doubt that it really matters, but hopefully now that I’ve done it, my windows can appreciate some more love than they’ve received this past year.
In other news…
Yesterday I decided to begin my 7 days without t.v., movies or youtube. I’m not sure why I picked this week considering I’m home all day during the week and I have loads of time to kill. Anyways this morning I was elated when I got called into work suddenly to take a day shift – I had to leave immediately.
Without media (other than e-mail, etc) I find it difficult to just sit. You just don’t know what to do. A few minutes ago I made myself an early supper because I’m meeting a friend for coffee later and won’t be home to have dinner with Wally, I went to sit on the couch and watch something while I ate and then I remembered that there was no t.v. for a week. I couldn’t even take my food and watch youtube or whatever online. Those are the times I miss media: when I want to relax. I find that I always need to be doing stuff. Whether it’s watching, listening, doing, there has to be something going on. I think that’s why I didn’t mind accomplishing #9 today or going to work.
When I’m home during the day I find that my ‘to do’ list is scheduled entirely around the two shows I regularly watch each morning (one of them I don’t even like that much). I’m sure there’d be more than two shows I’d watch daily if we had cable. Anyways, I’ve kind of enjoyed not have time constraints – you know ‘gotta get this done before Ellen comes on at 10am’, and there’s no moving off of the couch until after Rachel Ray is over at noon. Yesterday I went for my walk at 8:30am and took my time (over an hour – part of that is because I totally got lost at the park and had to find my way out). Afterwards I decided while I was out I’d do my grocery shopping (even though I was a stinky sweat bag with a ridiculous hairdo, and no makeup). I took my time and totally enjoyed the leisurely pace. Usually I’m a task master at chores (or almost anything), just make a list and get it done. I feel like I’m learning how to slow down, relax and take detours. I didn’t think that would happen just by not watching t.v.
Yesterday at the grocery store I even decided to pick up a few items I never normally would, because I had time to learn how to cook them, and also I think the ‘trying new things’ is catching on and spreading through out. I bought leeks, brussel sprouts, and a mango to eat - all for the first time. I know it’s not a big deal but it was fun to look at stuff that I never take the time to look at or buy, and pick it up just to try. No t.v. dinners for me!
I’m sure reorganizing the apartment wont’ be that difficult to get done this week.
Other happenings…
I also decided yesterday that I would try to do my eating program again – it’s something I got from my gym and it’s a three phase program that is supposed to boost your metabolism. I’ve done it before, but never followed it strictly. I lost 4 ½ pounds over a month last time. The first week I was supposed to lose between 3-8 pounds, I lost 1 *sigh*. I thought since I have felt it fairly easy to abide by my list that I’d try to take it a step further. I really do want to get my weight back down a bit, maybe 15-20 pounds; I just find it hard to follow a strict plan. This one is strict for the first week, then lets up a bit for the next three weeks and then is way better for the following month.
Yesterday went very well (I had to remind myself to eat), until the evening when we had our ‘Monday Night Gathering’. We get together with a group of Wally’s school friends every Monday night for supper and games, a movie, or a certain t.v. show. I really wanted to do the ‘plan’ perfectly by the book in order to see what would indeed happen. Unfortunately hotdogs aren’t in the ‘plan’ and that’s what we were having for supper (along with pop, chips, and mini sugar covered donuts – mmmm). This is where the ‘Rules’ become hard to follow. I find social events the most difficult part of following an eating routine, they never allow really for that kind of thing. I certainly didn’t go overboard (although I would’ve LOVED to take the mini donuts home and eat them all that night), but it was impossible to follow the ‘Rules’ at all. So I tried to keep things moderate. I was still disappointed though that I couldn’t be perfect.
I guess that’s just life though. Usually on an eating plan I’d give up and go for the gusto if I couldn’t be perfect. Now I am trying to learn what it’s like to live in moderation and without guilt for these things. This is going to be one of my biggest challenges in life. I hate that.
Today seemed as if it was going to be another day of around the house stuff, much like yesterday. I got up, felt overwhelmed at the idea of organizing our home, and decided I would do #9 (and actually # 21 – I just realized that I had it down twice, I suppose that means I will have to accomplish two tasks I’ve been avoiding). The chosen, or should I say avoided, task was to wash the windows – inside and out. I have been reasoning my way out of doing this for a year now. This seems a bit crazy considering we’ve only lived here for 1 year and 5 weeks. Oh well, today was finally the day.
I got out my bucket and filled it with warm soapy water (sunlight dish soap works great!), got an old cloth and dish towel and off I went. It took me all of 45 minutes (thank you air conditioners for making it impossible to take out all of the windows). Then I was done. The end.
It’s at this point that I wonder why the heck I’ve put off this chore for so long. It certainly wasn’t time consuming, and to be honest not all that difficult. So why have I been running from it like it was the plague? I’m not real sure and I doubt that it really matters, but hopefully now that I’ve done it, my windows can appreciate some more love than they’ve received this past year.
In other news…
Yesterday I decided to begin my 7 days without t.v., movies or youtube. I’m not sure why I picked this week considering I’m home all day during the week and I have loads of time to kill. Anyways this morning I was elated when I got called into work suddenly to take a day shift – I had to leave immediately.
Without media (other than e-mail, etc) I find it difficult to just sit. You just don’t know what to do. A few minutes ago I made myself an early supper because I’m meeting a friend for coffee later and won’t be home to have dinner with Wally, I went to sit on the couch and watch something while I ate and then I remembered that there was no t.v. for a week. I couldn’t even take my food and watch youtube or whatever online. Those are the times I miss media: when I want to relax. I find that I always need to be doing stuff. Whether it’s watching, listening, doing, there has to be something going on. I think that’s why I didn’t mind accomplishing #9 today or going to work.
When I’m home during the day I find that my ‘to do’ list is scheduled entirely around the two shows I regularly watch each morning (one of them I don’t even like that much). I’m sure there’d be more than two shows I’d watch daily if we had cable. Anyways, I’ve kind of enjoyed not have time constraints – you know ‘gotta get this done before Ellen comes on at 10am’, and there’s no moving off of the couch until after Rachel Ray is over at noon. Yesterday I went for my walk at 8:30am and took my time (over an hour – part of that is because I totally got lost at the park and had to find my way out). Afterwards I decided while I was out I’d do my grocery shopping (even though I was a stinky sweat bag with a ridiculous hairdo, and no makeup). I took my time and totally enjoyed the leisurely pace. Usually I’m a task master at chores (or almost anything), just make a list and get it done. I feel like I’m learning how to slow down, relax and take detours. I didn’t think that would happen just by not watching t.v.
Yesterday at the grocery store I even decided to pick up a few items I never normally would, because I had time to learn how to cook them, and also I think the ‘trying new things’ is catching on and spreading through out. I bought leeks, brussel sprouts, and a mango to eat - all for the first time. I know it’s not a big deal but it was fun to look at stuff that I never take the time to look at or buy, and pick it up just to try. No t.v. dinners for me!
I’m sure reorganizing the apartment wont’ be that difficult to get done this week.
Other happenings…
I also decided yesterday that I would try to do my eating program again – it’s something I got from my gym and it’s a three phase program that is supposed to boost your metabolism. I’ve done it before, but never followed it strictly. I lost 4 ½ pounds over a month last time. The first week I was supposed to lose between 3-8 pounds, I lost 1 *sigh*. I thought since I have felt it fairly easy to abide by my list that I’d try to take it a step further. I really do want to get my weight back down a bit, maybe 15-20 pounds; I just find it hard to follow a strict plan. This one is strict for the first week, then lets up a bit for the next three weeks and then is way better for the following month.
Yesterday went very well (I had to remind myself to eat), until the evening when we had our ‘Monday Night Gathering’. We get together with a group of Wally’s school friends every Monday night for supper and games, a movie, or a certain t.v. show. I really wanted to do the ‘plan’ perfectly by the book in order to see what would indeed happen. Unfortunately hotdogs aren’t in the ‘plan’ and that’s what we were having for supper (along with pop, chips, and mini sugar covered donuts – mmmm). This is where the ‘Rules’ become hard to follow. I find social events the most difficult part of following an eating routine, they never allow really for that kind of thing. I certainly didn’t go overboard (although I would’ve LOVED to take the mini donuts home and eat them all that night), but it was impossible to follow the ‘Rules’ at all. So I tried to keep things moderate. I was still disappointed though that I couldn’t be perfect.
I guess that’s just life though. Usually on an eating plan I’d give up and go for the gusto if I couldn’t be perfect. Now I am trying to learn what it’s like to live in moderation and without guilt for these things. This is going to be one of my biggest challenges in life. I hate that.
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