Happy

This is going to be short and to the point today and I'll use a photo to explain how I am feeling on my journey day 15:



Yeah that pretty much sums it up.

This is the first day of week 3 with my trainer and I feel good because I have, by my best guess, lost between 4 and 5 pounds, but even better than that am not distracted by the idol of food. It's amazing.

No I'm not saying I don't have temptations, nor am I saying I don't indulge (my trainer wouldn't exactly approve), but I feel so much freer from the shackles of my lust over food, at least at this point. It feels amazing.

I have a long way to go but it feels good to succeed at least with little steps. The true test will be the long term. That's what Wally and I want, a lifestyle change.

We'll do our best.

We are thankful.

Update on 'New Journey'

Ok so I guess I can't commit to anything again like I did my original 40 days. I mean I did do that in the summer when I only worked like 30 hours a week..

Anyways enough excuses hear she is...

I have been doing pretty darn good with both my eating and my time at the gym.

Here's the low down:

* I have been told to eat at least every 3 hours to keep my body moving and metabolizing I guess. It's amazing how challenging this can be considering I feel (or used to feel) as though I was a food addict. In reality I think I am just a sugar addict but with a specific focus it really has not been too difficult.

* I see my trainer 2 times a week for an hour each time. I have met with him 4 times now and am completely amazed at how rapidly I am improving each time I workout with him. This proves to me once again that God is an incredible Creator. To make us in such a way that we can truly change our bodies in this way.

* I go to the gym 2 more times a week (an hour per visit) to do cardio. This has consisted usually of 20 minutes on the elliptical, 20 on the bike (a beautiful wide seated up right kind) and either another 20 on the elliptical or on another machine like it.

* This past Sunday I went to a Interval Box class which is an hour long cardio mixed with full body workout. I loved it even though I forgot my water bottle and was dried out in the first minute, thought I was going to die after 20 minutes, and was positive I'd give up after 35, but was rejoiced when we started cooling down at 45. (This counted towards my hour of cardio).

* I'm not sure exactly how much I've lost since I didn't actually weigh myself on my home scale, instead I got weighed in there. I had a hunch when they weighed me in their scale was 'nicer' than mine by 2 pounds. If it's true I've probably lost 3 pounds overall and it's been 1 1/2 weeks. I'm hoping this is true. The goal (my trainer's goal) is 2 pounds a week.

* I am really challenged trying to pack two snacks and two meals for on the road these days. Not my favourite thing to do as I don't own a cooler, oh well.

Wally's doing great too. We go at separate times for our personal sessions as we have completely different work schedules and we'd have to do it apart anyway. We do try to go together for our cardio - it's been amazing to have a hobby to do together, at least in some way. We really hope that when we are done our sessions it's something we can keep doing - like actually working out together not just machines.

Something that's kind of weird is that I haven't been sleeping so great. I've been getting the kind of sleep that makes you feel as though you are half awake all night. I'm not a fan of it at all.

I went out dress shopping today. Well actually just dress browsing, I had absolutely no real intentions of buying one today. I tried several on and was surprised that I wasn't completely in tears by the end. Part of it is because though my body isn't where I want it to be I know I am working with someone who keeps me accountable and I just started. That was wonderful. I also do wonder if my body is beginning to change already. I mean considering I've been busting it at the gym and eating like to near perfection, it's got to help in some way right?

All in all I am already seeing the benefits of this decision. Ultimately we are going to get so much more out of this than healthier bodies, which I had really hoped. To so many people that we grew up around and to many of our family we would be looked at as 'wasting' or 'throwing' away good earned cash on frivolous things, luxuries really.

In fact a girl I shadowed the other day (who by the way, goes on trips literally around the world every year for a couple of weeks at a time) told me that she wishes she had the kind of money to spend on a personal trainer - 'you're so lucky!' she said.

I nearly fell over and slapped her at the same time. I thought 'Are you seriously that stupid?' Everyone chooses their priorities. Sometimes we are granted the gift of being able to chose more in our life than basic food and shelter needs. Almost anyone in North America can do this these days. It's about what you are considering a priority. To her it was travel, For us in this moment it's the gym. Another time it may be a trip abroad, to someone else it may be the size of house or kind of car they have. None of it (in my opinion) is wrong, as long as it's for the right reasons.

The benefits for us:
* closer relationship because of a shared experience
* a new hobby to share
* huge confidence building for both of these childhood fat kids
* strength building, physical and mental
* more friends
* becoming the people we want to be for our kids in whatever ways this experience can give us.

There you have it. Our Journey in a nut shell so far.

I should tell you about the wild turkey moves I've been doing. I'll save that for next time...

Day 5 & 6 - the pain continues ...

My Day 5 - of my 'New Journey' can be summed up with this:



I had to spend another 60 minutes on it on Sunday after already doing 60 minutes of cardio the previous day (I decided to break things up a bit and use the bike in the middle).

I only got to 40 minutes but was still really impressed as my prescription had called for a total of 2 one hour sessions within 7 days and I'd done it in two (just because that's how the schedule worked out this past week). Yay me!

I also learned that despite all of the pain I was in it felt good to move, it helped with the muscle stiffness for sure.

Day 6 of my 'New Journey' was another trip back to see my trainer. This picture sums up what I enjoyed most about our time, except for the part where I didn't feel nauseous and I already noticed a huge difference in what I could do.

By the Way - this isn't us ...



Yeah, can I just say that I NEVER in a million years thought I'd EVER have a male trainer, let alone a pro wrestling personal trainer. Who I have to allow do things like ... oh I don't know .... this kind of stretch with me.

But for some reason I don't care. I don't even care when I'm in the middle of my workout and there's men around (very close by the way) probably watching my touche flex and jiggle. I was surrounded by two yesterday, not including my trainer, and my head was only in my workout. I think this is really cool.

Anyways, today I must now live with a brand new soreness, but to be honest I really am thankful for the ability to renew and change my body. God creates us beautifully and we take that for granted and abuse that too often.

Temptations

This was my evening:

Sweet


Salty


Substance


Traditional


No, just for the record, I did not have any of these items. I refrained while I watched everyone else in the food court partake. I instead had some mini rice cakes which had way too much salt. But I was hungry and I had a good day overall. Even got my hour of cardio done (which was prescribed by Dee).

Of course this was why, while at the mall supporting a couple of young ladies, I desperately wanted to hide in these:



Speaking of which. Goodnight.

My First Beating

Scroll down and read 'Explanations' first.

Ok so Dee didn't beat me ... per se.

I arrived at the gym with bells on my shoes ready to go for my first official workout with a real live trainer.

Here's the scoop on Dee: He's a pro wrestler. It's true. He apparently 'rose to the top' in early 2000 and in 2002/03 gave it up to be a dad. I'm not exactly sure what that means but I think it's cool. He still does wrestling on the weekends and 'shows' I guess, don't know what that entails. He's obviously fit (like muscle man with a little head, very white teeth and tan skinned fit). And he's super nice - well as nice as someone can be who's bringing you more physical pain than you've ever experienced in life can bring.

So I met Dee he told me to go do 3 minutes or so on a bike in the front area (where people can see you!) and he'd meet me after he checked out my eating for the past day or so.

Once I figured that out and he met me and said, after he looked over my previous day's eating, 'I think this is the first time I've ever told someone they were eating really well. The only this I would say is you have to eat more.'

At that point the heavens parted and the angels sang.

Then the little voice in my head said 'Yeah you didn't show him what you ate the day before that or the days before that'.

I thought the little voice to shut up and I gleamed with pride.

That's when we uprooted ourselves and went on with the workout.

I won't give you every horrid detail. I'll just say that the picture of the bucket should explain something (if you've ever seen 'The Biggest Loser' you'd understand). Dee was warning me of a point that may come in the workout when I could begin to feel nauseous, he said that it generally comes out of nowhere and if so to sit down. He began telling me that he used to train a guy that was in his 20's out of shape, and for the first 13 workouts vomited every time. He told the kid that he really couldn't be doing that every week or Dee would get in trouble (I guess for seemingly pushing him too hard). The kid pushed through determined to do his best and by the 14th session didn't puke anymore.

My first thoughts 'Pffst. Like I'm going to want to vomit. Whatever.'

Maybe 5 or 10 minutes later I was standing during a break and Dee was talking and I sure enough felt a wave coming on. Not the surfing kind either.

I sat down, told him how I felt and he got me some orange juice. He talked me through it and explained when I asked, that it was your body telling you you've gone far enough and that it was beginning to shut down basically.

At that body I felt like I could have literally fell into a bed and slept - it was so weird because usually even if your body is tired when working out you have adrenaline pumping and you may be weak but not ready for sleep. I was ready for sleep.

I sat for 5 minutes before the nausea passed with Dee talking about how it was great I made it through 40 minutes out of the hour so well, blah, blah, blah. You know when you hear those words: 'No really you did great', when you don't need convincing that you did great (or at least your best), the encouragement seems more like a mock. well I forgave Dee and decided he wouldn't have known better. Seeing as he's fit and all.

We finished by doing some interesting stretching involving Dee grabbing a couple of my arms and yanking to and fro in a way that felt strangely great. As he was wrapping up a general spiel and I was gearing up to get out of there I heard him say 'So now you just need to head over and do 20 minutes of cardio and you'll be good to go'.

In my head, and only in my head, I said 'What the @#%$@#$%!!!' (no I didn't swear)

Then slowly headed over to do my cardio even though it would make me late and tired-er.

In one word I would describe my first workout experience with a trainer as: wobble-y.

Hope you're getting the picture ... and laughing with me.

P.S. This day was the predecessor to the Monkey wincing that I posted lastnight. the monkey wincing definitely describes me the day after my first beating. To a tee.

Explanations...

OK so here's the story...

As anyone would know who has read this blog from the beginning (or you know, two days ago), I have issues with my body. With trying to keep it healthy, treating it with respect, ok I'll come out and say it: I'm a binge-r. I emotional eat and I more often than not feel crappy about how I let this happen.

(My solution here is not going to make sense when I say what it is. Oh well).

So all of my life I've wanted to get fit and free from these things. I actually do like exercise (or so I thought 2 days ago) but the recent gym membership wally and I signed up for left us feeling overwhelmed and stupid in all things 'gym' related. You know, exactly how they (whoever 'they' are) want you to feel.

Both Wally and I know that getting a gym membership by no means gets anywhere near solving our food 'issues' but for us we thought it was a great idea to give us something active to do together for the very first time.

It took me a couple of years to get Wally to agree to or even want to go to a gym. The insecurities over our weight and appearance at the gym (not knowing how the heck to operate a treadmill) overcame any possibility to even walk past one, let alone think of joining one. The fact that gyms are often filled with seemingly already 'fit' people who would throw money into something we saw as a luxury didn't make us feel any more comfortable.

I asked Wally the other day what had changed. Why he was willing to finally do this (yes, if you remember correctly I went to a gym before, but this was a way different ball game, one I'd only go to with another scared person in tow).

His answer surprised me.

He said 'Because how you are living now a days trying to experience life. I just thought I should.' (This is no quote, more of a gist)

I was in awe. 'That's kinda cool' I thought.

So on Valentine's Day we went in and signed up. A few days later after we'd each had our demos and realized we still knew nothing and actually wanted to make some changes in our lives and knew we needed help, we went back and inquired about personal trainers.

Can I just say that never in my life have I ever thought I would EVER be ok with having a man be my personal trainer. EVER. But we had our demonstrations with the same guy who apparently is new to that gym and there was something about him we both liked so that's who we have. (I can't wait to tell you more about him - interesting stuff!)

Obviously we both signed up, with Dee (the guy who did our demo). Not only did we sign up, but we SIGNED up. We each got 24 sessions. YIKES! We were able to split a package deal together and get a good deal (I suppose relatively speaking).

Can I say again there are other reasons why this is big? Like NEVER would we have ever spent money like this before on something like this - we really are changing our ways and prioritizing what we want according to our dreams.

So there you have it. Let me make this clear. We have no ambitions to because swimsuit models or get on the cover of any magazine. We really do just want to learn and try to get in better shape so that we can spur eachother on.

Did you want clarification about some of the pictures? I'll assume so (though it might be coming together for you now.

The first post with pictures was my 'Last supper' filled with some of my favourite crap. The cookies are a binge staple and the Burger King meal is a craving staple, even though I don't eat there more than every couple of months. Seeing as now I am (or will) be accountable to Dee for everything I put in my mouth, I thought I'd have a last horrah. No I do not plan on cutting everything 'yummy' out of my overall menu, I do hope to keep these things to a minimum while I acquire a taste for health. I love that Dee will be watching.

The staircase: obvious isn't it. This seems like a forever journey already because it's not about the next 3 months, it's about a lifetime of good choices.

*sigh*

So I hope this better explains my 'new' journey and I'm glad that y'all are enjoying the new addition of photos. This should be fun! (Can I just add that I uploaded these photos BY MYSELF, such an accomplishment for me!!!!)

Growing everyday,

Eva :)

New Journey Day 3

My work day today can be summed up in these two pictures:





These are much less to do with my journey and much more to do with how work went. But it describes my day well.

The photo I would use to reveal how my day 3 of my 'new' journey went is more like this...



Don't worry I do still plan and sharing a bit more with you about this whole thing.

Just not yet.